The TFR Forums commentary thread

[Mr Angry]

Inspired by Moffo's commentary thread, I thought I would start one where you could be the commentator, argue with other commentary team members and offer some imagination to the current crop of nine fogies.
The genral idea is to start the commentary, and pass on to the next poster as Bill throws to Tony, at any stage feel free to cut to another match or get the rain happening and cut to some old footage or whatever you like. Just make me laugh.

I'll Start

Hello, and welcome to the VB series here in Australia, our venue today in the Lovely Gabba, and what a stinking hot day it is.
Today it is Zimbabwe V India.
We will go down for the pitch report in minute as the umpires have just inspected the pitch, in the meantime - look at this lovely item of sporting memorabilia - Steven Gaugh's box from the 1988 series - superby framed and featuring geunine jock rot, and signed by the player only $6000 in 4 payments.
Should be a great days play.
Now for the pitch report it is over to.................

 

[Doctor]

Oswin who is out in the centre of the ground with his pitch report.

Thanks Angry. Out here in the centre of the ground, the cool breeze has blown away a few early spits of rain. The pitch hasn't suffered that much, although a bit of sweating has occured overnight while the covers were on which is sure to put a few doubts into both captains' minds about whether or not they should bat first on such a moist wicket.

This patch down here just short of a good length should liven things up there for the fast men who will be looking to exploit the tremendous amounts of sogginess there.

Right. Now down the other end of the ground, outside the members area, we're joined by a special guest who is going to tell us all about the new innovation that the good people in the LU technical department have developed......

 

[Mr Angry]

Thanks for that Oswin, we seem to be having some technical problems with the cross to our special guest. In the mean time, lets look at some classic blotches.
*screen pops up*
A. Trevor Bohns (AUS) - despite not getting any christmas cards from many a player - took a wonderful blotch threating S Gaugh with the sack.
B. Sorav Gangulygulygumdropps (IND) - With intense pressure of having fans burn down houses at home - took a great blotch when his side failed to compete with the Aussies in one day final.
C. Grahame Smut (RSA) - couple of double hundreds in a row by this young capper and he thinks he is it and a bit. Pollock wants to return his knife, great blotch.

So call 1800- welltakeyourmoney for the wonderful prize of 5 cans of VB

Right. Now down the other end of the ground, outside the members area, we're joined by a special guest who is going to tell us all about the new innovation that the good people in the LU technical department have developed......

 

[Twizzle]

Yes....................I can see this becoming a 12th man thread.


Over to you Bull.

 

[Mr Angry]

Well I figure real names may cause a stir hence the close fake ones.......

 

[choc_soldier]

Still having trouble with the feed...

And while we wait for the players to come out... The Dock is returning back to Channel 9 this year, all new, and with more metrosexual wannabes who are after their 15 minutes of fame.

Back with a heap of new surprises and even more product placements, we will be using it to hopefully beat Ploptarts Live in the ratings.

So, The Dock, which will follow Backyard Bomblast, will be on at 7pm Sundee night, and is more innovative quality viewing from the house of nine dots...

And now, as Pathway is measuring his run up, and Carwhistle is taking strike, we'll now join our commentators.

The first voice you will hear is...

 

[Manly Preniers in 2005]

Preniers...

Carwhistle is about to bowl the first ball of what should be a classic days play, maybe even adding an incident to our great Classic blotches competion. So here it is...buetiful shot that from Saleg, but a buety fielding effort that was from the man at mid on, I think that was Streaky down there, yes it was, the captain Streaky. The clouds are begining to threaten , but lets hope rain is not innament. Just slotting into the seat next to me is...

 

[choc_soldier]

I would like to apologise for my colleague's temporary "brain melt" - Carwhistle has a bat in his hnads, which means he is the batsman. But yes, that was a really poor first delivery there from Pathway... right in the zone, and Stewy just latched on to that. That was a good catch from Streak, standing at a mid on position in the dressing room. That shot went for miles.

 

[Kasper]

The King(Acting as Warnie)
Oh what a lovely mullet(Pronounced mullay) worn there by Jason Gillespie. He is very proud of that too. Now I remember back on a tour to india in 1998 :roll: .......

 

[Manly Preniers in 2005]

Yes it is Warney, I would also like to appologise for my colleague stupidity who didn't realise that was Streaky the batcman at mid off who took the catch, and Carwhistle is luckily not out. India 98 you mighta had a good hairstyle, but you struggled as a player. As pathway ha snow just delivered the perfect ball, and Salegs off stump has been uprooted! What a ball that was, and Saleg is beck to the pavilion for no score, he was lucky not to be out the ball before, luckily for him Streaaky caught it an not a fielder, but he's proved to us his not a cat, as he appears to only have had one one live not 9.