Tuesday Funny

[dogslife]

OP is a closet Bulldogs fan. Next pension day he better promise to buy a membership

 

[gUt]

Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot.

 

[Packy]

Did you hear about the junkie that shot up a bag of curry powder?

He went in to a Korma.

 

[TheDalek079]

can somebody tell the joke about Kermit Jagger going to the bank to get a loan?

 

[gUt]

can somebody tell the joke about Kermit Jagger going to the bank to get a loan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf0zw6Mhrhs

 

[ShaneO85]

This page two has some outstanding content. Skull's frog joke had me doing my best not to burst into laughter in the office.

 

[El Diablo]

Q. what's yellow and smells like bananas?

A. Monkey vomit

 

[Misanthrope]

What the hey? We don't want this shit in here!

 

[Ozzy]

I've got a great joke to tell. Unfortunately its now Wednesday.

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye deer.

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs having sex?

F***ing still no idea....

 

[urban eel]

youre not wrong when you mean your sense are numbed

 

[Jason Maher]

What do you call a man caught in a hedge?

Russell.

 

[Jason Maher]

What do you call a man stuck in a bog?

Pete.

 

[Jason Maher]

What do you call a man with his head stuck in a rabbit hole?

Warren.

 

[Jason Maher]

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck to his head?

Doug.

 

[Jason Maher]

What do you call a man without a shovel stuck to his head?

Douglas.

 

[Skinner]

Who moved this shit here ???

 

[Jason Maher]

Q. How do you fit 4 elephants in a red Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 2 in the back.

Q. How do you fit 5 elephants in a red Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 3 in the back.

Q. How do you fit 6 elephants in a red Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, one in the boot.

Q. How do you fit 7 elephants in a red Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, one in the boot, one in the glovebox.

Q. How do you fit 8 elephants in a red Mini?
A. 2 in the front, 3 in the back, one in the boot, one in the glovebox, one on the roof.

Q. How do you know if an elephant's been in your fridge?
A. There's a set of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 2 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 2 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 3 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 3 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 4 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 4 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 5 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 5 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 6 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 6 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 7 elephants have been in your fridge?
A. There's 7 sets of footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if 8 elephants have been in your fridge?

Spoiler: A

There's a red Mini parked outside.