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Rumoured Signings and Even More Crap XI

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parra pete

Referee
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20,711
Come on big fella, can't you feel it too. A signing is coming. By the close of business tomorrow.


Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....
"BOB...BOB, wake up! You pooped in the bed..........
 

Daneel

Bench
Messages
2,581
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....
"BOB...BOB, wake up! You pooped in the bed..........

:lol::lol::lol: One of your best Pete
 

Avenger

Immortal
Messages
36,140
A bloke is excited and tells his mate that finally he is f**king Swedish twins. His mate said, "Swedish twins !! how lucky are you, how do you tell them apart?" The bloke said, easy, one of the twins has long blonde hair and massive tits, while the other one has a 10 inch c**k."
 

bartman

Immortal
Messages
41,022
so we are screwed from the inside out then?

920588-stephen-kearney.jpg
 

Gary Gutful

Post Whore
Messages
54,018
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....
"BOB...BOB, wake up! You pooped in the bed..........

Didn't you post that one a few weeks ago?
 

Casper The Ghost

First Grade
Messages
9,924
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.'
Bob was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for.
Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home....
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Bob.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....
"BOB...BOB, wake up! You pooped in the bed..........

:lol:
 
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