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Star Trek to return to the small screen.

jargan83

Coach
Messages
14,891
Is there any doubt that Mary Spock's mayday message is going to result in a fleet of Vulcan/Romulan ships, as well as ships from Trill, Yum Yum's home planet, Earth and whatever remains of the Federation fleet all arriving in time to save the day?

Isn't giant fleets of ships arriving at the very last minute to sort shit out getting kinda old, especially since it was done in the last season finales of both Discovery and Picard?

The wife and I predicted the same thing last night when we were watching the last eat episode.
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
Henchman AI hasn't improved since the original Batman. After a thousand or whatever it is years, I'd have expected improvements.
Hah, yeah... "I'm just gonna use this knife to pry a decorative commbadge off the wall for no particular reason..."

Along comes Mary Spock for a kung fu fight, forgetting she can just phase the guy with her magic space dildo or Vulcan nerve pinch him... Lucky she remembers she can do both later on!
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
Hahahahahaha, what a giant load of shit.

The burn was caused by a Kelpian with mutant superpowers getting upset and going RAHHHH!!!!

The Ni'Var people had a massive treasure trove of data which the supposedly studied to determine that they were the cause of the burn and ended up leaving the Federation because of it. But they were wrong, and it took Saint Michael and her band of 23rd century heroes to figure out what almost 1000 years of technological advancement could not. lolkay!

Everyone was just humming or playing this weird space muzak for.... reasons? I don't get it. What the f**k was that all about? Stamets said the ship's computer had been picking it up since they got to the 32nd century. So this signal is being broadcast all over the entire galaxy? And it has a Federation distress signal that is, some reason, hidden in it? And encrypted with a sooper sekrit algorithm that people have to break to be able to listen to the distress signal? A signal that would have led everyone to a planet made entirely out of dilithium? At a time when dilithium was rare as unicorn shit? And nobody ever bothered to investigate where this weird space muzak was coming from?

As for the finale and last week's episode... Holy f**k, an entire novel could be written about how f**king little sense any of this makes. But what amazed me most in this episode is why doesn't Osyraa just beam the f**kers into space? Instead she just turns off life support and gives them 30 minutes to hatch a plan. What a mess.

Oh, and Book can talk to plants, so that means he can pilot the spore drive! Only let's not test that out, let's come up with a super dooper complex plan to blow up the Emerald Chain ship by ejecting the warp core at the same time Book tries out the spore drive controls for the very. first. time. ever... Holy f**k, why not just jump the f**k away first, they already proved they could cripple the Emerald Chain ship with Book's little cargo ship a few episodes back. It's no threat to them.

And finally... You could tell the writers were finding it way too difficult to shoehorn Saint Mary Spock into every storyline and did the inevitable. You all knew it was coming.
 
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bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
That was f**king stupid on so many levels
To be fair, I did think it was better than the season 1 and 2 finales. But's that's a very, very f**king low bar to get over.

As far as the entire season went I thought it was the worst so far, with season 1 being the best.
 

Timbo

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
20,272
The Burn being caused by a kid screaming: stupid.

Burnham becoming captain: stupid.

The turbolift scene: stupid.

Book being able to magically use the spore drive: stupid.

Whatever the hell was going on with Gray: stupid.

The amount of whispering, crying and whisper-crying: stupid.

I'm Timbo and that was my TED Talk.
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
Yup, I think you hit the nail on the head bro.

Basically everyone that I personally know that was watching this show either bailed out during the middle of the season, or have bailed out after the finale.

Personally, I don't feel that the left any kind of hook to draw people back in for the next season. Season 1 left with the Enterprise showing up. Season 2 left with them hurtling 900 years into the future. Season 3 left with.... absolutely f**king nothing.

Putting Saint Mary Spock in the captain's chair feels like the perfect place to just walk away from the entire series. I really have no interest in watching the adventures of Captain Saint Mary Spock. They spent two and 3/4 seasons basically showing that she wasn't Starfleet material only to suddenly rehabilitate her character and f**k over both Saru and Tilly to put her in the captain's chair. Yeah get f**ked.
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
How about how f**king stupid it is when Osyraa gets killed off?

"Oh, I'm just gonna push you into this wall of goo, and you can have my gun while I'm at it!"

"There, that f**ked ya!"

*pew* *pew*

"Ahh, f**k!!!"
 
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Eelectrica

Referee
Messages
21,010
The shame of it is the series premise of the federation needing to be rebuilt and warp being limited could have made for some great stories.

My reaction after watching the finale was what did I just watch.
Star Trek used to be about stories that make you think. Sure they didn't always get it right and had a few clunkers.

Discovery works best if brain is shut down. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

It could've been great.
 

Timbo

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
20,272
I have a few more:

Being told repeatedly that Discovery is a science ship that isn’t built for combat, only for its shields to hold in a combined assault by the starbase and ten starships - stupid.

Asyria turning off life support instead of beaming them into space - stupid.

The ‘we are Starfleet, redux’ monologue from Burnham - stupid.

The magic pills being able to save them from radiation, why didn’t they just take more with them? - stupid.

The kids spaceship thing collapsing right as Discovery comes back after being there for several hundred years - stupid.

The ‘I love you so much’ montage between the senior staff, none of whom have had enough lines or screen time for me to give a f**k about - stupid.

Tilly being in charge of the space Die Hard sequence. Not Rhys the security chief, or any of the others who were actually military officers during the Klingon war when she was a cadet? - stupid.

Admiral Vance being played by Antoine the Gigolo from Deuce Bigalow? - actually, I’ll allow that one. Nice.
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
I have a few more:

Being told repeatedly that Discovery is a science ship that isn’t built for combat, only for its shields to hold in a combined assault by the starbase and ten starships - stupid.

Asyria turning off life support instead of beaming them into space - stupid.

The ‘we are Starfleet, redux’ monologue from Burnham - stupid.

The magic pills being able to save them from radiation, why didn’t they just take more with them? - stupid.

The kids spaceship thing collapsing right as Discovery comes back after being there for several hundred years - stupid.

The ‘I love you so much’ montage between the senior staff, none of whom have had enough lines or screen time for me to give a f**k about - stupid.

Tilly being in charge of the space Die Hard sequence. Not Rhys the security chief, or any of the others who were actually military officers during the Klingon war when she was a cadet? - stupid.

Admiral Vance being played by Antoine the Gigolo from Deuce Bigalow? - actually, I’ll allow that one. Nice.
It seems like you are being overly negative....

;)
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
Honestly this show is just so f**king dumb that there seems to be a threshold where you can excuse a lot of stuff until you just cannot anymore, and then everything is stupid.

For me 3x12 is probably one of the worst episodes in Discovery, if not the worst, when it comes to the sheer amount of incredibly stupid shit.

First you have the whole concept of the phaser made out of programmable matter that just sits in your sleeve until you need it. I actually thought it was the anti-tracking device given to Saint Mary Spock by Book after they crash landed his ship in the hangar. But then I had to watch the accompanying episode of The Ready Room to find out nope, it's new 32nd century gear they were outfitted with which was never explained in show. Then I quickly scanned through the entire series and found that none of the crew ever wore it after the upgrade, but it suddenly appears on Saint Mary when needed. The ONLY character wearing it consistently throughout the season was Lt. Willa from 32nd century Starfleet.

So she has the magic space dildo phaser, but then decides to kung fu the Emerald Chain guy that's just f**king about for no reason. Coulda stunned him, coulda Vulcan nerve pinched him, but nope, when she has the tactical advantage of being hidden, her enemy distracted, and the complete element of surprise she decides to announce herself and slide in for a kung fu fight, ultimately getting stabbed in the leg.

Then, she leaves the guy unconscious in the middle of the walkway where anyone could trip over him, and then takes his commbadge equivalent. So as soon as someone finds the body - which is pretty much straight away - and notices the commbadge missing, well, all they need to do is scan the ship to find out where the it is. Ok...

Then we're using the magic space dildo phaser to cauterize a wound. Presumably the programmable nature of the programmable matter behind the magic space dildo phaser allows the wrist device to become any number of useful tools like a medical device, but ok, we'll accept that it can only be turned into a phaser for the moment. Fine.

She uses the magic space dildo phaser to blow up some shit in the Jefferies tube to set off the fire suppression system, the amazing response of which is just... whoosh! Everything and everyone gets flushed into space. Incredible! Why would anyone go into a Jefferies tube to fix anything when a small fire is just going to result in.... whoosh! Seeya later! Can you imagine that?

"O'Brien, get into the Jefferies tube and fix up the electical fault!"

"Are you shitting me? Have you seen how occupational health and safety unfriendly our fire suppression system is?"

I'm certain that the fire suppression system has been covered in previous episode of TNG, etc. before and involved using shields to put out flames. But here, there wasn't even really an out of control fire or anything? She just blew up a small dome thing or something?

Then we have the weirdo looking Emerald Chain lady coming at Saint Mary in the Jefferies tubes. Other people are shown making their way through the tubes with guns drawn. Not this lady! And somehow she sneaks up on Saint Mary - WHO HAS THE MAGIC SPACE DILDO PHASER IN HER f**kING HAND - and is able to grab onto her legs. Oh, but don't bother using the phase that's IN YOUR f**kING HAND to swat her away, just let her hold onto until your boots come off and your little strap breaks so you almost end up in space with her.

And that's just a few minutes of Saint Mary's Die Hard sequence. The entire f**king episode is full of shit like this, not to mention the episode prior where the Emerald Chain boarding team all just beam through the f**king shields... Books ship gets into the hangar because shields went down momentarily... for SOME REASON... The transwarp tunnels that are just f**king everywhere, first allowing Osyraa to just venture over to the nebula, and then allowing Book's ship to get back to Federation HQ seemingly in the same amount of time it too Discovery to jump there.

They set up "the burn" but then at every opportunity they undermined it. It caused all dilithium to go inert galaxy wide, but wait, not ALL ALL dilithium. There's transwarp tunnels f**king everywhere. And then just as easily as "the burn" was caused by a Kelpian mutant manchild, BAM!, it's solved, because when you find the cause of the "the burn" you also find an entire planet made out of dilithium!

God, don't even get me started on Adira and Gray, or the fact that all the alphabet people on this show have been segregated into one place. I don't even know who is in what role now. Who the f**k is the Chief of Security? Who the f**k is the Chief of Engineering?

What a f**kin' joke this show is. The CW makes better shows than this shit.
 
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Timbo

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
20,272
I think Rhys (the Asian dude) is the security chief. I think. It’s not clear. The only one of them that’s gotten any sort of development is Detmer, but even then it’s only slight.

Chief Engineer is another good one. I thought it was Stamets. He’s always in engineering and regularly fixing stuff. But, also, is it Reno? I hope not, because there are no words to describe how much I dislike Tig Notaro. But it seems like maybe it is? I have no idea at this point.

It’ll probably just be Burnham multitasking all department head roles next season.
 

jargan83

Coach
Messages
14,891
They had a blank canvas and great premise going into Season 3 with the 900 year trip to the future but they done f**ked it all up. I probably don't need to rehash why because it's already been covered by Timbo and Bileduct.

I have not watched any of Discovery a second time apart from season 1.

I'd rather watch the episode where Paris and Janeway turn into lizards on repeat.
 

bileduct

Coach
Messages
17,832
I still can't believe that for over 120 years the Vulcans believed the burn was all their own fault, causing great societal angst and their exit of the Federation.

But then Saint Mary Spock solved the mystery of the burn using the exact same data the Vulcans had (let's get real, the three blackboxes were f**king nothing and added jack shit) and made a mayday call, and THEYYYYY'RRRRRE BAAAAAAACKKKK!!!

Who gets the job of explaining that to all the people on Ni'Var?

"Derrrpppppp, sorry you guys! Our much vaunted Vulcan derrrrrpppppp Science Academy just got it wrong, derrrrrrpppp and these Neanderthals from the derrrrrpppppp 23rd century are sooo much smarter than us! Derrrrrrpppp!!!"

Another thing that annoyed me... Saint Mary Spock has time to talk with the weirdo guy who wouldn't raise the flag at the starbase in the first episode, but she doesn't have the time to talk to Stamets and explain why she spaced him in a bubble. We get this scene where she's just beaming her dial off at the happy gay family of gays and enbies, and then gets the Burnham sads when Stamets doesn't give her the "oh my god YOU GUYZZZZZZZ, it's Saint Mary Spock, SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE!" greeting. I thought the show really could have benefited from a scene where they at least talked about it, but nope. What's the bet they won't even bring it up next season? I sure as shit won't be finding out, because unlike promises I've made in the past, I won't be watching season 4.
 
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