"I say, that BF fellow sure does seem like an unreasonably stupid beast. Is it possible he is in fact the result of experimental breeding between a Tibetan yak and some kind of mentally deficient ape?"
"Of course not old chap. Even a yak is more intelligent and interesting than that old pillock. In fact the Earl of Lockfordshire, who recently had an accident with a blunderbuss, would surely best him in a battle of wit. And he is a vegetable kept alive only by the mere fact that his brain stem is mostly intact!"
"Oh, my!"
"Yes, quite."