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Cayless guardian of Parra pride
Brent Read | September 15, 2007
NATHAN CAYLESS still remembers a brief conversation he had with Gorden Tallis two years ago.
It took place around the time the Parramatta captain's wife, Erin, was pregnant with daughter Mia.
"He said 'it will change the way you play footy, it will make you a better player'," Cayless said this week as he sat on a bench under Parramatta Stadium's western grandstand.
"I thought, 'I don't know about that because you're tired all the time from looking after the baby'.
"But I think it has. It's had a big effect on me."
How does an ever-expanding family affect a professional footballer?
"When you're a young bloke and you're playing footy, footy becomes everything," Cayless said.
"You go home and think about it, well I do anyway, for a couple of days.
"Now when you get home you have your kids there, and dirty nappies to change. You have other things to do.
"When you get home, your kids don't care if you have won or lost. It puts everything in perspective."
That sense of perspective has come in handy this season, more than any other in Cayless's 11-year first-grade career. The front-rower has ridden a roller-coaster. At club level, his form has been as good as ever and the Eels have been flying.
The Eels can move within one win of a grand final if they beat the Bulldogs at Telstra Stadium tonight.
Off the field, Cayless has been through the wringer. In July, he lost his mother, Marlene, to cancer, her loss hitting harder than any tackle he has endured over his 184 games in first grade.
Football was the last thing on his mind as he took two weeks off, returning to New Zealand to grieve with relatives, including his brother Jason, a fellow New Zealand international now playing in England with St Helens.
"I'm not really ready to talk about it yet," Cayless said. "The only thing I would say is my mum loved watching us play.
"She always wanted us to do well. When you say is it hard to think about footy, she knew that was what we loved and what we were good at.
"That's why it's made it easier to get back and play hard."
After sitting out games against Manly and the Bulldogs, Cayless returned against Cronulla in round 22.
It was the beginning of a three-match losing streak which was only arrested on the eve of the finals with a win over Brisbane.
During that time, Cayless had another addition to the family, a son named Eddy.
Cayless, who rarely shows his emotion, lights up as he talks about the impact Eddy has had on his life.
"The second one is a lot different to the first," Cayless said, a smile creeping across his face.
"It's the best thing to do."
One thing has stayed constant as Cayless has navigated his way through a turbulent time off the field -- his form.
Cayless has never been the fastest or strongest of players. He doesn't have the outrageous skill of younger team-mates Jarryd Hayne and Krisnan Inu, nor is he a genetic freak like team-mate Nathan Hindmarsh, whose body shape belies a level of endurance unmatched in the game.
His achievements owe everything to persistence and hard work, qualities he attributes to his parents and his upbringing. At times, his father Paul worked three jobs so his children could enjoy the same opportunities as everyone else.
"My parents sacrificed a lot for my brother and I to do the things we wanted to do when we were younger, like play sport," Cayless recalled.
"My dad's been a hard worker. We didn't see him that much, but it taught us the importance of working hard and making sacrifices."
They also grew up respecting their New Zealand heritage. Although Nathan and Jason were born in Sydney's western suburbs, they were, for all intents and purposes, Kiwis.
"We have strong ties to New Zealand and that's just the way our parents brought us up," Cayless said.
"My mum was in a Maori culture group. As kids we used to get into it as well.
"Our family was always visiting New Zealand. Every time I go back I meet a new cousin."
Cayless's Kiwi allegiances led him to pledge his future to New Zealand and he has gone on to play 31 Tests in the black and white, including several as captain.
They rank as some of the proudest moments of his life.
"I used to enjoy watching the All Blacks play, but the cricket used to upset me a bit because Australia would always win," Cayless said. "That was probably one thing I remember from growing up -- my parents loved the All Blacks, but they were also Parramatta fans."
Imagine the feeling then when Cayless was named Parramatta skipper in 2000 at the age of 21.
Initially reluctant to take the job, he only relented after some fast talking from then-coach Brian Smith.
"He was a model for the other guys to follow," Smith recalled.
"Nathan always cared about the blokes around him."
Eight years later, Cayless is still calling the shots, making him the longest-serving captain in the club's history.
When you consider his predecessors, which include Ray Price, Peter Sterling and Ron Lynch, it's a significant honour.
"It's gone really quickly and I probably got the job by default," Cayless said with a hint of self-deprecation. "We had a few senior players here who didn't really want to do it. But once I got a taste of it I really, really enjoyed it.
"I felt it made me play better."
Cayless is the first to admit he took his time to grasp captaincy. When he accepted the job, he expected too much of himself and his team-mates.
But time has mellowed the 29-year-old. He has become more forgiving, even though his self-demands remain unrelenting, as coach Michael Hagan can readily attest.
"After the Melbourne game, he had made 52 tackles and carried the ball 18 times," Hagan said.
"I said 'do you think you played well'. He said 'no'."
Cayless said: "I am probably my own hardest marker.
"That probably rubbed off on the team and the other boys. I have learnt that you have to be positive and encourage the boys.
"That's all part of learning. I was very young when I became captain and had to grow up real quick."
Cayless would rather lead by actions than words. Perhaps the best example of his captaincy style comes via the traditional post-match media conferences. Cayless always fronts when the Eels lose, but shares the attention when they win.
It's a selfless act, but one which sums up his self-effacing style.
"I haven't been a great man with words," he said.
"As the boys say, I tend to mumble a bit when I get excited.
"I try to get out there and play as hard as I can and train as hard as I can, and hopefully the boys will come with me."
Boys they are, too. Outside backs Inu and Hayne are barely out of nappies and playing an exhilarating brand of football, one which has Eels fans dreaming of another premiership.
It's been 21 years since Parramatta last completed a victory lap on grand final day.
"I am just here to do a job and my job is to win as many games as we can and hopefully win a premiership," Cayless said.
"The only thing that worries me is winning or losing on the weekend.
"That's really what counts at the end of the day.
"People look back at your career and I suppose they judge it on how you went -- the games you won, how many premierships you win."
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22420130-2722,00.html
Brent Read | September 15, 2007
NATHAN CAYLESS still remembers a brief conversation he had with Gorden Tallis two years ago.
It took place around the time the Parramatta captain's wife, Erin, was pregnant with daughter Mia.
"He said 'it will change the way you play footy, it will make you a better player'," Cayless said this week as he sat on a bench under Parramatta Stadium's western grandstand.
"I thought, 'I don't know about that because you're tired all the time from looking after the baby'.
"But I think it has. It's had a big effect on me."
How does an ever-expanding family affect a professional footballer?
"When you're a young bloke and you're playing footy, footy becomes everything," Cayless said.
"You go home and think about it, well I do anyway, for a couple of days.
"Now when you get home you have your kids there, and dirty nappies to change. You have other things to do.
"When you get home, your kids don't care if you have won or lost. It puts everything in perspective."
That sense of perspective has come in handy this season, more than any other in Cayless's 11-year first-grade career. The front-rower has ridden a roller-coaster. At club level, his form has been as good as ever and the Eels have been flying.
The Eels can move within one win of a grand final if they beat the Bulldogs at Telstra Stadium tonight.
Off the field, Cayless has been through the wringer. In July, he lost his mother, Marlene, to cancer, her loss hitting harder than any tackle he has endured over his 184 games in first grade.
Football was the last thing on his mind as he took two weeks off, returning to New Zealand to grieve with relatives, including his brother Jason, a fellow New Zealand international now playing in England with St Helens.
"I'm not really ready to talk about it yet," Cayless said. "The only thing I would say is my mum loved watching us play.
"She always wanted us to do well. When you say is it hard to think about footy, she knew that was what we loved and what we were good at.
"That's why it's made it easier to get back and play hard."
After sitting out games against Manly and the Bulldogs, Cayless returned against Cronulla in round 22.
It was the beginning of a three-match losing streak which was only arrested on the eve of the finals with a win over Brisbane.
During that time, Cayless had another addition to the family, a son named Eddy.
Cayless, who rarely shows his emotion, lights up as he talks about the impact Eddy has had on his life.
"The second one is a lot different to the first," Cayless said, a smile creeping across his face.
"It's the best thing to do."
One thing has stayed constant as Cayless has navigated his way through a turbulent time off the field -- his form.
Cayless has never been the fastest or strongest of players. He doesn't have the outrageous skill of younger team-mates Jarryd Hayne and Krisnan Inu, nor is he a genetic freak like team-mate Nathan Hindmarsh, whose body shape belies a level of endurance unmatched in the game.
His achievements owe everything to persistence and hard work, qualities he attributes to his parents and his upbringing. At times, his father Paul worked three jobs so his children could enjoy the same opportunities as everyone else.
"My parents sacrificed a lot for my brother and I to do the things we wanted to do when we were younger, like play sport," Cayless recalled.
"My dad's been a hard worker. We didn't see him that much, but it taught us the importance of working hard and making sacrifices."
They also grew up respecting their New Zealand heritage. Although Nathan and Jason were born in Sydney's western suburbs, they were, for all intents and purposes, Kiwis.
"We have strong ties to New Zealand and that's just the way our parents brought us up," Cayless said.
"My mum was in a Maori culture group. As kids we used to get into it as well.
"Our family was always visiting New Zealand. Every time I go back I meet a new cousin."
Cayless's Kiwi allegiances led him to pledge his future to New Zealand and he has gone on to play 31 Tests in the black and white, including several as captain.
They rank as some of the proudest moments of his life.
"I used to enjoy watching the All Blacks play, but the cricket used to upset me a bit because Australia would always win," Cayless said. "That was probably one thing I remember from growing up -- my parents loved the All Blacks, but they were also Parramatta fans."
Imagine the feeling then when Cayless was named Parramatta skipper in 2000 at the age of 21.
Initially reluctant to take the job, he only relented after some fast talking from then-coach Brian Smith.
"He was a model for the other guys to follow," Smith recalled.
"Nathan always cared about the blokes around him."
Eight years later, Cayless is still calling the shots, making him the longest-serving captain in the club's history.
When you consider his predecessors, which include Ray Price, Peter Sterling and Ron Lynch, it's a significant honour.
"It's gone really quickly and I probably got the job by default," Cayless said with a hint of self-deprecation. "We had a few senior players here who didn't really want to do it. But once I got a taste of it I really, really enjoyed it.
"I felt it made me play better."
Cayless is the first to admit he took his time to grasp captaincy. When he accepted the job, he expected too much of himself and his team-mates.
But time has mellowed the 29-year-old. He has become more forgiving, even though his self-demands remain unrelenting, as coach Michael Hagan can readily attest.
"After the Melbourne game, he had made 52 tackles and carried the ball 18 times," Hagan said.
"I said 'do you think you played well'. He said 'no'."
Cayless said: "I am probably my own hardest marker.
"That probably rubbed off on the team and the other boys. I have learnt that you have to be positive and encourage the boys.
"That's all part of learning. I was very young when I became captain and had to grow up real quick."
Cayless would rather lead by actions than words. Perhaps the best example of his captaincy style comes via the traditional post-match media conferences. Cayless always fronts when the Eels lose, but shares the attention when they win.
It's a selfless act, but one which sums up his self-effacing style.
"I haven't been a great man with words," he said.
"As the boys say, I tend to mumble a bit when I get excited.
"I try to get out there and play as hard as I can and train as hard as I can, and hopefully the boys will come with me."
Boys they are, too. Outside backs Inu and Hayne are barely out of nappies and playing an exhilarating brand of football, one which has Eels fans dreaming of another premiership.
It's been 21 years since Parramatta last completed a victory lap on grand final day.
"I am just here to do a job and my job is to win as many games as we can and hopefully win a premiership," Cayless said.
"The only thing that worries me is winning or losing on the weekend.
"That's really what counts at the end of the day.
"People look back at your career and I suppose they judge it on how you went -- the games you won, how many premierships you win."
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22420130-2722,00.html
