Coaching advice for Jack Gibson

[Misty Bee]

Act 1, Scene 1. Jack Gibson is preparing the Eels for the 1981 grand final v Newtown, when he recieves a helpful phone call.....

BBBRRRRRRRIIING

JACK: Hello.
BRIAN: Hello, is that Jack Gibson?
JACK: Yes it is
BRIAN: Hi Jack. My name is Brian Smith. I'm a lower grade coach with Souths, and an avid student of the game. I have some thoughts on a game plan for Parra for the grand final. if you are interested.
JACK: OK. What are they?
BRIAN: Well, first, you need to confuse Newtown, so I'd be changing the backs.
JACK: Yeah, how?
BRIAN: Well, is Guru 100% fit
JACK, Well, er, not really, he was a tad lethargic at training, but that's normal.
BRIAN: I wouldn't use him. Who is your slowest and biggest mistake ridden back?
JACK: Ummm.....Phil Mann?
BRIAN: Good. Play him at 2. Then you need to make sure the Crow isn't there. Yell and scream at him or something, and send him back to the bush to pull beers. He has no heart, remember the missed kick in 77? Get rid of him, Jack.
JACK: Errr.....and if we do that, what then?
BRIAN: Tell Brett Kenny that he's got 15 minutes to get the side a big lead. Then hook him.
JACK: Hook Bert?
BRIAN: Yep.
JACK: Then who do I play at 5/8????
BRIAN: Pricey
JACK: *long pause* Are you a resident of Callum Park, by any chance?
BRIAN: No, I'm in Wollongong, breathing in the clean frsh air from the Steelworks. Anyway, back to the side...
JACK, So you'd replace Brett Kenny with Ray Price. So, who locks the scrums?
BRIAN: That's the beauty of the plan. Price locks the scrums, but plays 5/8 in general play, so he can make 50 tackles!
JACK: So, who is 5/8 at the scrums?
BRIAN: Steve Sharp!
JACK: Steve bloody Sharp????
BRIAN: Yep!
JACK: So, you telling me that in the last 20 minutes of the game, when Sterlo needs to backline to fire, his link man is Steve Sharp????
BRIAN: No, not quite.
JACK: Huh?
BRIAN: You see, this is the masterstroke. After 50 minutes, you haul off Sterlo.
JACK: And who do I replace him with?
BRIAN: Isn't it obvious? Bob O'Reilly!
JACK: Replace Sterlo with Bear? Why on earth would I do that????
BRIAN: So it's harder for Tommy Raudonikis to run around you halfback!
JACK: *pauses for a moment - gathering his words* Look, mate, thanks for the advice, but I'll go my own way, if it's all the same to you...
BRIAN: But you'd be nuts not to use it. It's the best game plan ever!
JACK: Well, my advice to you would be to save it until YOU are the coach of Parra. Use it in, say, round 25, 2004. OK?
BRIAN: OK, I'll do just that!

And the rest, as they say, is history!

 

[Suitman]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Suity

 

[scottyeel]

:roll: :roll: :roll:

 

[Eelectrica]

Firstly Misty, very funny, full credit for that.
But are you seriously suggesting that Witt is as a good as Sterlo or Thorman is as good as kenny? You've got to have some perspective dude.

 

[stuke]

very amusing :lol: maybe to much time on your hands????...but amusing :lol:

 

[newmanj]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Gold. Gold. Gold.

Pure Gold.

Please give me another.

 

[strider]

:lol: quite funny indeed

and of course:
sterlo is of equal talent as witty
kenny and thorman, can't split the 2 of them either
pricey and wags - well of course wags will be named in the team of the 2000s
and undoubtedly sharp is as good a ball runner as Hindy.

 

[thewizard1o1]

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Very, very funny...

 

[Misty Bee]

I'm merely suggesting that Witt is the best half we have available, Thorman the best 5/8 etc.....Hard for some to grasp, though it's fact.

 

[strider]

Nah I think Dykes is better than both.....and I don't believe he is still injured - just not keen to play PL the rest of the season.

If our backline was the most talented in league history I think we all know what postions they'd be playing.....but its not - its average at best.

 

[Misty Bee]

So you agree that Hindmarsh and Wagon are better 5/8's than Thorman?

 

[strider]

I believe when there is a scrum close to our own line (within 15m - there were several last night) that putting a big player who can not get forces backwards at 5/8 is good - many teams use this tactic....is Wayne Bennet a shit coach for doing this with Tallis? Folkes for doing it with his big Willie?

We have no backs good for this at the moment....Grothe is ok, but we have quite a small backline and none can just hit it up from a scrum without getting mobbed (none of Thorman, Burt, Graham, McKinnon).

But I agree it was of almost no value last night....Hindy did nothing from the scrum - he got put down easily - seemed a bit off his game last night.

Was it a key factor in us losing?...I don't think so - there were far more telling things that Hindy getting tackled after a few scrums.


Last night we played Thorman and Witt in the halves....when things turned against us that was changed - and the change worked as we stopped their roll and got the lead back for a time......but Penrith are a good team and they got back infront.

 

[Avenger]

I'm merely suggesting that Witt is the best half we have available, Thorman the best 5/8 etc.....Hard for some to grasp, though it's fact.[/quote

This year maybe, next year well Thorman will not be here and Witt well the jury is still out on him.

 

[True EEL]

i think Misty was merely substituting the relevant players from the '80's to out side from Round 25 - no comparisions, just substituting as neccesary to make the point

i understood Misty even if others ahd trouble with it and overcomplicated something very simple (just like BS does all the time)

great stuff lol :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[True EEL]

Press conference from Brian Smith after a recent Parramatta loss

Media: Brian, that was certainly a tough one?

Brian: "Well, yes it certainly was a tough night at the office, but we got there".

Media: Were you worried at all by the events of the first half?

Brian: "I was a bit worried in the first half when we started completing our sets and let ourselves score a couple of tries off some good set plays put on by our halves Morris and Witt. But in the second half we turned it around a little, through some fine work by Corey Pearson, when I moved him into 5/8. He's a big fella, but he sure does know how to get in there and have a go in the halves and really mess up the attacking cohesion of the team, he's got that fire in the belly and all-round slowness that you need in the halves".

Media: What did you see as the turning point in the game?

Brian: "In the second half we started to get back to our game plan of disjointed attack and dropped balls, followed by some penalties borne out of frustration that crept into out game as a result of our poor display in the first half. I thought Vella and Peek were particularly soft up front, which allowed the opposition to score some quality tries. So all in all, I'm pretty happy with the boys, after an early wobble we got back on track and lost the game in a close one".

Media: Any injuries to report Brian?

Brian: No. No major injuries to speak of, because thankfully in the second half we stopped having a go in the forwards, so most of the boys will be right for next week. Matty Peterson has got a bit of a cold though from standing out there on the wing all night with no ball and Ash Graham has a nasty bump on his head from fall over trying to catch the ball. Hindy has a bit of sore back from carrying the team around on it for the last year or two and Wade has small problem with a broken collarbone from making all those try savers - its funny I told him to stop tackling so many of those - but those blokes will be right for the next game. Basically they all have few bumps and bruises - they are a pretty sore bunch of boys after tonight’s game, but luckily most of them didn't have enough of a go to get seriously injured - so they'll be right.

Media: Thanks Brian.

Brian: That’s ok boys, anything I can do to get my message across to the Rugby League world.


and add in some personal favourites of mine about........

"Penrith asking us questions and us answering some, but not others and us then asking them some questions and they answered more than we answered of their questions to us, whiule some questions still remain and they will be answered at a later date in another game, when asked by someone else" ;-) LOL

 

[Rednecked Yobbo]

Is that supposed to be funny........

 

[Suitman]

and add in some personal favourites of mine about........

"Penrith asking us questions and us answering some, but not others and us then asking them some questions and they answered more than we answered of their questions to us, whiule some questions still remain and they will be answered at a later date in another game, when asked by someone else" ;-) LOL

I actually heard him say words to that effect on Saturday night and I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Suity

 

[Rock_66]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

If only it was about Roosters or anyone else!!!

 

[BlueNGoldBlood]

sad but tru

 

[True EEL]

Is that supposed to be funny........

well depends on how you perceive it rednecked yobbo

it was mean't to be funny and is.....but it is also sad

because that is almost how poor old Smithy talks in the media these days and my last little addition about answering questions put to us - as Suity said - is actually exactly how he talks all the time - he just talks double dutch and dribble most of the time

i think he needs a break and the rumour about him being put back to Coaching Director might be the go for him, not ship him out completely, but just get him to step back a little and take a bit of a break?????