Dad Jokes

[Samwise]

Pavarotti knocks on the Pearly Gates. St Peter opens them and says "Oh Luciano, it's you, Come on in - squeeze through".

Pavarotti says "I have a letter from the Pope for you".

St Peter opens it up and reads it.

"Here's that tenor I owe you".

 

[JessEel]

:lol:



I love a good Dad joke.


A Girl and her father drives past a cemetary that is so full, they have had to knock down the building next door to accommodate the latest 'arrivals'
Dad turns to Daughter and say's "Gee, People are DYING to get in there..."

Girl rolls eyes.

Girl may or may not have been me......

 

[Samwise]

:lol:



I love a good Dad joke.


A Girl and her father drives past a cemetary that is so full, they have had to knock down the building next door to accommodate the latest 'arrivals'
Dad turns to Daughter and say's "Gee, People are DYING to get in there..."

Girl rolls eyes.

Girl may or may not have been me......

Was said cemetary the dead centre of the city?

Here's more,

What do you call a greek man skydiving?

Condescending.



Did you hear about that hollywood actress who got stabbed the other day? Reese something?

Witherspoon?

Nah it was with a knife.

 

[McLovin]

When travelling up to Queensland when i was a little fella in the early 90s. A cop passes the car, my dad utters, "What do you call a 2 cent piece?"

 

[Evil Borad]

What do you call a greek man skydiving?

Condescending.

Malaka :sto:

 

[madunit]

Houdini has some gems.

 

[The_Savage_1]

kid: dad i'm hungry
dad: hi hungry, i'm dad

 

[Apey]

Hey... there's nothing dad joke about that 8-[

 

[morri (cWo)]

kid: dad i'm hungry
dad: hi hungry, i'm dad

classic old man joke... i hope i never use it

 

[pantherlove]

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, build a huge fire under it, and leave them there.

A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary can't believe it! He says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup."

 

[Twizzle]

one cannibal says to the other "I don't like your wife"

other cannibal replies "thats OK, just eat the chips"

 

[kia ora storm]

A man walks into a pub with a cheezel on his shoulder....the barman says "mate...you sure have a chip on ya shoulder !!".

 

[Samwise]

Why are pirates called Pirates?

They just ARRRRRR!!!

 

[McLovin]

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk...

 

[Evil Borad]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the ocean??

Bob!!!!

 

[Hallatia]

I read the first word of the first word in this thread and, it reminded me of my sister, she was really upset when Pavoritti died because a lot of people think my dad looks like him and now she can't make jokes which involve both parties anymore

 

[Apey]

a man walks into the pub with a bit of tar under his arm

ill have one for the road.