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Things were quiet at The Twins as Walder Frey and his motley collection of wives, children, grand-children, and great-grandchildren played host to a most honoured guest.
"Tell me, Sir Dondarion," asked the aging Lord of the Twins, "What brings you and your so called 'Brotherhood' into my lands? Do you plan to usurp me? Or are you here to bask in the aftermath of my Red Wedding?"
He broke down into a weezing, choking fit of laughter at his recollection of the events that had started this latest conflict.
"The look on his mother's face..." the old man doubled over as if in pain, and one of his wives rushed to his side.
Beric Dondarrion and his men exchanged grim looks. They had come here to learn what they could of this man, and so far they didn't like what they had learned.
Walder Frey must have seen the scowls on their faces, because he suddenly stopped laughing.
"Ah, you look down on my too, eh? That brat and his wolves did the same and look where that landed them!"
His mood quickly turned from gloating laughter to rage.
"Guards," he shouted, "Kill these interlopers!"
The guards fell upon them and blades were drawn. The Brotherhood Without Banners made a retreat, but not without loss.
Anguy is dead. He was Anguy, Seven Kingdoms Aligned Archer.
------
It was cold in the crumbling ruins of the Nightfort, but Bran and his companions made the best of things by huddling over the feeble fire Osha had managed to build.
"Hodor," put in the biggest of their number, "Hodor Hodor Hodor".
"Quiet Hodor," Bran urged. Outside the wind howled and wailed, but they strained their ears to hear the coming of potential threats all the same.
And soon enough, they came. The White Walkers staggered out of the darkness and stole towards them. In a fit of surprising bravery, Hodor snatched up a nearby torch and charged out towards the walking dead. Amazingly, they backed away.
As the gentle giant returned to the tower, he found a man with a blade to Bran's neck.
"Put the torch down, big man," the sellsword said with a grin, "Or I'll cut your little friend's throat".
He had every intention of cutting the boy's throat either way, but all plans for maliciousness went out of his head when he felt that little swamp rat's spear poke him in the ribs.
"Drop the knife," Meera Reed insisted. Bronn did just that, but spun in the same motion to snatch the spear from her hands and hold it between himself and the girl with her wildling friend.
"Easy now," he soothed, "I'll just be leaving".
------
The Lady Melisandre heard the beating of wings and knew that her time had come. If the Lord of Light wished for her to die, what better way to do it than with the glorious return of dragons?
The three winged fiends were beautiful and terrible, and they swooped in low over her camp and bathed the woods and fields alike with glorious, purifying fire.
Yet when the smoke began to clear and the flapping of wings ceased, she was still alive. The Red God was good. He had spared her.
"Quite a sight," a man's voice observed from behind her, "I imagine it's one of the better ones to see before you go".
Sandor Clegane cut her in two.
mickyj is dead. He was Melisandre, Seven Kingdoms Aligned Red Priestess.
------
Walder Frey retired to his chambers with a smile on his face. He hadn't gotten that jumped up bandit, Dondarrion, but he'd made a pretty decoration for his wall from the lean archer who his men had managed to bring down.
For the moment he was alone, but a timid knock on his door signalled the arrival of one of his wives to warm his bed for the evening. His shrivelled old c**k gave a premature lurch at the thought of one of them squirming and feigning interest beneath him. Like he cared whether or not they enjoyed it.
"Enter," he bade the girl, unsure which one he'd called for tonight. The door opened and shut behind him. He shrugged off his robe to reveal his naked, veiny frame.
"I think I'll start with your mouth tonight," he informed her over his shoulder, "Remember, don't use your damned teeth".
He turned around with his surprisingly fat prick in his hand, and saw that it was not one of his wives. It was a girl, but the knife in her hand was enough to shrivel his manhood right up.
"No teeth," she agreed with a wolfish grin, "But how about a needle?"
Walder Frey screamed a lot before she let him die. It was fitting punishment for what he'd done to her brother and mother.
Rebel is dead. He was Walder Frey, Usurpers Aligned Angry Old Man.
----
Jon Snow walked the Wall and looked out over the vast, unforgiving darkness that spread out to the north. He'd heard that the White Walkers were coming farther and farther south of the Wall, but the Night Watch's numbers were too few.
They'd never put down this threat while the rest of the Kingdoms was more focused on feuding over the Iron Throne.
The squeaking and rattling of the lift was ample warning of somebody's approach, but Snow was still surprised when he saw that it was men in Lannister red atop the wall.
"Ho there, bastard," came a familiar and entirely unwelcome voice, "I thought I'd come see this wall my uncle is always rambling about".
Joffrey stepped out from between his men and fixed the Stark bastard with his most condescending grin.
"I've always wondered," he quipped to his guards, "If a bastard falls off the Wall and nobody is there to hear it, does it even matter?"
The Redcloaks came forward with swords drawn, but Ghost beat them to it. The ferocious wolf tore at Joffrey much as another, much smaller wolf had once before.
It was all his guards could do to drag him away and keep the wolf at bay.
Joffrey Lannister is not dead. He is Joffrey Lannister, House Lannister Aligned King of the Seven Kingdoms.