At any given time in a game the captain of each team picks one player from the opposition for a "virtual injury", that player then has to tie one limb (also of the captain's choosing) behind their back for about 43 minutes.
The 'Virtual Voodoo'. Patent pending.
Not bad. But I reckon there has to be one free interchange with the first guys in the crowd supporting each team with the winning 1st try scorer ticket. Must be called by the captain in the middle 20 mins of the first half and it must be a front row replacement. Must stay on for a.minimum of 10 mins.
Any taxkle by said replacement is worth a.point, hit up worth a.point, try worth 12 points.
If they get hurt they can move to the wing (called the GI strategy). If concussed they can be told to stay the f**k out there without penalty (the Macmanus Strategy).
This replacement will be allowed to bet on matches they play on (the Simona rule) and ride bareback at the after match function at Panthers with any troubles handled by an appointed club fixer (the Carty rule).
The lucky replacement (if still alive) will be serviced by Eddie Hayson at Stilettos later that night conditional to allowing Ed to punt on his Tab account with his money (the Buzz Allowance).
If that doesn't bring crowds back nothing will.