Hull Expansion/Merger/Destruction Thread

[docbrown]

So we all know that Hull is a toxic waste site located in the north of England. The barely 'human' population is currently around 260k - or 520k if you count both heads as extra people. Sadly, the area is serviced by 2 Super League teams: The Hull Kraptown Rovers and Hull F.U.K.C.

The Kraptowns represent the poor, run down and miserable parts of Hull, whereas F.U.K.C. represent the other equally poor, run down and miserable parts of Hull. Combined, both teams have played in the Super League for 17 & 27 years, winning a an impressive combined total of ZERO Super League trophies between them. With that kind of an amazing history, it's no wonder that the dozens of Kraptown fans were devastated when the team was previously relegated to the lower-tier Participation Trophy League.

So the key question is: what do we do with Hull?

My suggestion is a 5 Megaton nuclear ICBM strike. As you can see from this map, it will only impact the main areas of Hull, whilst preventing survivors from relocating and infecting other, more civilised regions. I know this may be expensive to do but a failure to act may be even more costly.

 

[Canard]

@Get Rid of The Donkeys @MugaB @Wb1234 @Perth Red post here to your hearts content and f**k off from all the other threads

 

[MrE_Assassin]

Just let the NRL buy out the super league; V’landys merges the two terrible clubs in to one equally terrible club; a’la Wests Tigers, and props up expansions in unsafe countries like Bulgaria, Chechnya, and Liverpool.

 

[docbrown]

Just let the NRL buy out the super league; V’landys merges the two terrible clubs in to one equally terrible club; a’la Wests Tigers, and props up expansions in unsafe countries like Bulgaria, Chechnya, and Liverpool.

Well I suppose the question of merging the Hull sides is this -- if you take one shit sandwich and combine it with a second shit sandwich, does the sandwich taste any better or do you just end up with a bigger pile of shit?

 

[MrE_Assassin]

Well I suppose the question of merging the Hull sides is this -- if you take one shit sandwich and combine it with a second shit sandwich, does the sandwich taste any better or do you just end up with a bigger pile of shit?

Again, look at the tigers

 

[Get Rid of The Donkeys]

Relocate Hull KR to Pripyat. The air is cleaner and there's an amusement park for the players to have some fun after training.

Pripyat amusement park - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Lots of green grass for a football field.
There's even a high performance training centre that is a class above anything in Hull.



The drinking water is no worse than the stuff in Canberra or the Thames River.

 

[docbrown]

Relocate Hull KR to Pripyat. The air is cleaner and there's an amusement park for the players to have some fun after training.

View attachment 85780

Pripyat amusement park - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Lots of green grass for a football field.
There's even a high performance training centre that is a class above anything in Hull.

View attachment 85782

The drinking water is no worse than the stuff in Canberra or the Thames River.

Honestly though, if you did that, you'd be spoiling the players. They're not used to living in a town with that much luxury.

 

[Vlad59]

So we all know that Hull is a toxic waste site located in the north of England. The barely 'human' population is currently around 260k - or 520k if you count both heads as extra people. Sadly, the area is serviced by 2 Super League teams: The Hull Kraptown Rovers and Hull F.U.K.C.

The Kraptowns represent the poor, run down and miserable parts of Hull, whereas F.U.K.C. represent the other equally poor, run down and miserable parts of Hull. Combined, both teams have played in the Super League for 17 & 27 years, winning a an impressive combined total of ZERO Super League trophies between them. With that kind of an amazing history, it's no wonder that the dozens of Kraptown fans were devastated when the team was previously relegated to the lower-tier Participation Trophy League.

So the key question is: what do we do with Hull?

My suggestion is a 5 Megaton nuclear ICBM strike. As you can see from this map, it will only impact the main areas of Hull, whilst preventing survivors from relocating and infecting other, more civilised regions. I know this may be expensive to do but a failure to act may be even more costly.

Hull = Tasmania?

 

[docbrown]

As you can see from these photos, Hull is a booming, hustling and bustling metropolis. It's up there with other world cities, like Kabul and Pyongyang.

Now to be fair, Hull isn't as bad as other people are making out. It is actually number one in the UK in a lot of metrics. It's number one in the country for people getting randomly stabbed with a broken glass beer bottle on a weekday morning, elder abuse and dog molestation.

 

[Get Rid of The Donkeys]

Honestly though, if you did that, you'd be spoiling the players. They're not used to living in a town with that much luxury.

It'll take time for the Hull lads to get used to living in accommodation from the 1980s. They're used to living in dilapidated dumps built 50+ years ago.

 

[Get Rid of The Donkeys]

View attachment 85784View attachment 85786View attachment 85787
As you can see from these photos, Hull is a booming, hustling and bustling metropolis. It's up there with other world cities, like Kabul and Pyongyang.

Now to be fair, Hull isn't as bad as other people are making out. It is actually number one in the UK in a lot of metrics. It's number one in the country for people getting randomly stabbed with a broken glass beer bottle on a weekday morning, elder abuse and dog molestation.

Nice buildings, but Pripyat has the more affluent infrastructure. I believe they have a nuclear reactor in Pripyat, too. A cheap form of electricity that is generated safely.

 

[Vlad59]

A place like this could only produce boring sad flogs.

 

[blue bags]

Just let the NRL buy out the super league; V’landys merges the two terrible clubs in to one equally terrible club; a’la Wests Tigers, and props up expansions in unsafe countries like Bulgaria, Chechnya, and Liverpool.

And force them to build a centre of excellence

 

[Get Rid of The Donkeys]

And force them to build a centre of excellence

Pripyat already has one. It has just the right amount of water that Poms are comfortable swimming in, too.

 

[MugaB]

@Get Rid of The Donkeys @MugaB @Wb1234 @Perth Red post here to your hearts content and f**k off from all the other threads

I should make you a 'Save Cairns from the cannibalistic Papuans" thread so you can f**k off all the other expansion threads too

 

[docbrown]

A place like this could only produce boring sad flogs.

Well that and all the lead poisoning. Even though lead use in pipes, paint and food containers was eventually banned in the UK, the people in Hull (who lag decades behind the rest of civilisation) were too poor to actually replace these things. Furthermore, lead paint chips were an integral part of the average impoverished Hull child's diet. Within the brain, lead-induced damage in the prefrontal cerebral cortex, hippocampus, and cerebellum can lead to a variety of neurological disorders, such as brain damage, behavioral problems, nerve damage, and possibly Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, and schizophrenia. Unfortunately, it has been difficult to determine the long term effects of all this lead poisoning, as many grew up and abandoned the shithole town, relocating to places like Perth.

 

[Vlad59]

Well that and all the lead poisoning. Even though lead use in pipes, paint and food containers was eventually banned in the UK, the people in Hull (who lag decades behind the rest of civilisation) were too poor to actually replace these things. Furthermore, lead paint chips were an integral part of the average impoverished Hull child's diet. Within the brain, lead-induced damage in the prefrontal cerebral cortex, hippocampus, and cerebellum can lead to a variety of neurological disorders, such as brain damage, behavioral problems, nerve damage, and possibly Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, and schizophrenia. Unfortunately, it has been difficult to determine the long term effects of all this lead poisoning, as many grew up and abandoned the shithole town, relocating to places like Perth.

I could tell where that was heading hahaha