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Joke Corner!

sportive cupid

Referee
Messages
25,047
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him ......what? (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good).




Wait for it.........







A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
( I know .....its bad ,but someone had to say it :p
 

Redback71

First Grade
Messages
8,105
two fish went out for a swim one day when they decided to race each other
then all of a sudden bang , they crash into a wall filling a bit dazed one fish turns to the other and says dam!
 

sportive cupid

Referee
Messages
25,047
A man fell asleep on the beach under the noon day sun and suffered
severe sunburn to his legs.
He was taken to the hospital.
His skin had turned a bright red and was very painful and had started to
blister. Anything that touched his legs caused agony.
The doctor prescribed intravenous feedings of water and electrolytes, a
mild sedative and Viagra.
Rather astounded, the nurse inquired,
"What good will Viagra do him in that condition?"
The doctor replied, "It will keep the sheets off his legs."
( if anyone gets this joke,could they explain it to me :oops: )
 

JessEel

Accredited Media Releases
Messages
28,677
whats blue and white and stands in the corner of your kitchen??
a fridge wearing a denim jacket!!

What do you call a Snowman with a suntan?
A Puddle!! :D
 

sportive cupid

Referee
Messages
25,047
Mary had a little lamb...............that's what she gets for sleeping
in the barn :oops: :oops: :oops:
(ohh well it is World Cup Rugby Semi Final Day....)
 

MystikEel

Juniors
Messages
2,098
malignant cupid said:
Mary had a little lamb...............that's what she gets for sleeping
in the barn :oops: :oops: :oops:
(ohh well it is World Cup Rugby Semi Final Day....)
*falls off chair laughing*
Thats a good one. ;-)
 

redeel

Juniors
Messages
338
two guys walking through the bush ,when 1 guy spots a dingo licking his genitals, the fella turns to the other and says "man i'd love to be able to do that" . the other guy says " if i were you id pat him first cause he looks vicious" :x
 

Clarkieel

Juniors
Messages
1,567
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Of
course the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the
window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have
to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy
drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A
warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass
everywhere and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near
the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke
my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband
replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You
see, I'm genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep
the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my
life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can
do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every
country in the world," she said.
Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be
safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been
with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex
with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we
both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're
right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but
what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the
same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest
of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of nonstop sex, the genie rolled over and
looked directly into her eyes and asked "How old are you and your
husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"NO SHIT! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in
genies?"
 
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