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Kilkenny - Fibroman horror stories

Pantha-Boy

Pantha-Boy

Juniors
Messages
1,886
Perhaps we could move all issues we are discussing about kilkenny to this thread insted of multiple threads?
Im sure this thread will be succesful.
 
Dave Q

Dave Q

Coach
Messages
11,065
I got Matty Johnsys book "from the sheds" for Xmas.

It seriously sucks compared to this.

In fact they should cancel the million-player trial we having this weekend and have a book reading.

Pantha Boy , Fibross and KK can take it in turn to read paragraphs of KKs lieterary works.

Send the punters home with something they can remember.

Actually, the players can play, but the 80 players involved should all get on the paddock at the same time and play "catch and kill"

One guy kicks the ball, 79 players try to catch it and the guy who does, gets bashed senseless.

It was a favourite game at school.

It took me six years to work out that I shouldnt try to catch the ball but just to shoulder charge the guy who did. The bravest and toughest kid in our form played at hooker. He weighed about 30 kilos, was about 4 foot tall and had red hair. He got pounded for all of his school life but didnt feel anything.

At the school reunion someone said he was a millionaire now. That figures.
 
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Fibroman

Fibroman

First Grade
Messages
8,216
Cards on the table OKAY?

Kilkenny wants to have a 36 hour drink. NO EXEPTIONS.

We drink, drink, drink, drink, drink,. okyay. no problem. we drink drink drink. okay. no problem. we go hoem home home. no problem. we drive home, drive drive drive. no probel. we drive home. BOG f**king PROLEM. dash it okay,
 
Fibroman

Fibroman

First Grade
Messages
8,216
Shane Elford at the age of 18 or 19 used to moonlight emptying out the hoppers of the machines. To this day he still recalls events such as the one Kilkenny described. It was not uncommon for Kilkenny and I to work 8am till lunch. Then we would lunch until 7.45am the next day and return to the office in the same apparel with the sweet smell of aftershave (essence of stale piss) which was around about 250 dollars a bottle. Pitstop into Maccas for 3 eggand bacon McMuffins and then straight back into our duties. That in itself is a bit silly, but when you go for the same long lunch the following day and rack up in excess of 50 hours without sleep and well in excess of 40 schooners, Panthers management and staff can surely have us to thank for the lovely landscaping, and probably the major refurbishments to CUA.
 
K

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,348
Let's fast forward to say 1996.

I vividly recall a charity golf day at the Wallacia Golf Club.

Fibroman and his bestest buddy affectionately known as the milkman had the forsight to foward plan and book a ride on cart in advance.

Poor old kilkenny on the other hand did not. Now on the day I was suffering from an affliction known as 'gout'. Now as those are aware of the pain associated with this terrible afflication can attest it is very painful and it is fair to say my left big toe was the size of my knee. This made walking almost impossible and playing golf well I will leave it to your imagination.

No golf carts for Kilkenny all booked out so the Golf Pro exclaimed.

Now my situation was evidence to Fibroman and considering his well known compassion and generosity I had no doubt he would do the right thing.

Yep. True to form Fibroman came good. On the last hole of the day the 18th after both he and the milkman both put there tee shots out of bounds down the left, Fibroman turned to Kilkenny and said, "Mate, why dont you take the cart and well see you up on the green." What a great guy.
 
K

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,348
Fast forward, same day, same Charity Golf Day.

Needless to say, I did not spend a lot of time with Fibroman in clubhouse. I was a tad disappointed in his attitude to say the least.

As the 200 or so competitors gathered around for the official presentation I was slightly taken aback to say the least when the overall winners of the two man ambrose was announced. Fibroman and Milko took out the prestigious event.

Now while I would never question Fibromans generosity and compassion the same cannot be said for his counting skills. Particularly when he runs out of fingers.

If you recall from my previous post both Fibroman and Milko were out of bounds of the tee on the 18th. This meant they were playing three into the par four and as I recall they ended up in the greenside trap. Sure they pitched out onto the green but again luck deserted them and after a tricky first put they ended up three putting the last. Now by my calculations this equated to a 7 (Seven)

Somewhat bemused after learning they had taken out the major prize I conspired to secured a glance at the official score cards.

It will surely be of no surprise to anyone who knows Fibroman to learn that the score recorded on their official scorecard on the last was a three in other words a birdie.

There was ample other evidence of similar such creative accounting on their scorecard that day.

They have to live with themselves and I am sure this blight on Fibromans history has been the source of much discussion in his frequent visits to Dr Gus Pusac Penrith eminent pyschiatrist.

This is a true story and the names have not been protected to protect the guilty.
 
K

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,348
For the information of all fans, Zelda has a stall at the official members day on Sunday.

For those of you who are not already customers of Zelda she is the one without the abs, not wearing Panthers official players apparel and she has an extrordinarily large nose with a wart on the end.

If you have a moment and a spare $50-00 I strongly encourage you to call by and half a chat, gaze into her crystal ball and watch our upcoming fixtures live in advance.

I am not going to give too much away but as a teaser I can indicate at half time against the Sharks the score is 18-10 to the Panthers. Jarrod Sammut is having a blinder and has already kicked 12 field goals. I got the impression watching the game live on her crystal ball ME has a new tactic in store for 2009.
 
Dave Q

Dave Q

Coach
Messages
11,065
Kilkenny said:
For the information of all fans, Zelda has a stall at the official members day on Sunday.

For those of you who are not already customers of Zelda she is the one without the abs, not wearing Panthers official players apparel and she has an extrordinarily large nose with a wart on the end.

If you have a moment and a spare $50-00 I strongly encourage you to call by and half a chat, gaze into her crystal ball and watch our upcoming fixtures live in advance.

I am not going to give too much away but as a teaser I can indicate at half time against the Sharks the score is 18-10 to the Panthers. Jarrod Sammut is having a blinder and has already kicked 12 field goals. I got the impression watching the game live on her crystal ball ME has a new tactic in store for 2009.
Click to expand...

Follow your nose to Zelda.
 
K

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,348
Kilkenny said:
For the information of all fans, Zelda has a stall at the official members day on Sunday.

For those of you who are not already customers of Zelda she is the one without the abs, not wearing Panthers official players apparel and she has an extrordinarily large nose with a wart on the end.

If you have a moment and a spare $50-00 I strongly encourage you to call by and half a chat, gaze into her crystal ball and watch our upcoming fixtures live in advance.

I am not going to give too much away but as a teaser I can indicate at half time against the Sharks the score is 18-10 to the Panthers. Jarrod Sammut is having a blinder and has already kicked 12 field goals. I got the impression watching the game live on her crystal ball ME has a new tactic in store for 2009.
Click to expand...

I will say no more. I dont want to spoil it. 65 minutes in and we lead 18-16. The penalty count is 6-2 from both referees so in real terms we are being caned 12-4. The game has not been without controversy, as Greg Bird streaked accross the ground at the half time break dressed only in a Newtown Jets jumper. He is clearly no Jarrod Sammut.
 
K

Kilkenny

Coach
Messages
13,348
The truth hurts doesn't it Fibroman.

Your silence is deafening.

I just hope you and the Milkman enjoyed sharing that 34" inch colour television first prize you won on the day.

Make you wonder how much technology has come on the last 12 or so years as that prize was state of the art at the time and even had teletext.

You certainly got your money's worth considering the same TV is still your main TV is your humble abode. Which reminds me. This is another reason I will never stay over at your joint again.
 
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