Match 4 - Muhammed Hassan vs. The Undertaker for the #1 Contender's Slot
Undertaker is still on his way to the ring. Slow, slow, slow man. GET IN THE RING! Why does he need five minutes to walk down to the ring!? It's the battle of men in funny hats.
Hassan ducks a right hand from Taker. Hassan gets him in a corner, and stomps and punches him for a while. Ref breaks it up, and Taker throws him back into the corner. He rains blows on him, and then hits a knee to the gut. Hassan's on his knees. (It's time for cake and sodomy). Taker whips him and hits a big boot. Undertaker goes old school! Hassan is down. Taker looks like he wants to hit the Tombstone, but contents himself with a DDT for a two count. Daivari cheers on Muhammed. Taker continues to beat on Hassan, but takes time to eye off the 'sympathisers' at ringside. The ref gets intimidated by Taker, and dives out of the ring. Undertaker is being attacked by Arabs! They're beating him down at ringside, and the ref is powerless. Hassan comes out to beat on Undertaker himself. He looks like he's wearing Wiggles trunks. He whips Taker into the stairs and then chokes him with his boot. Hassan puts him back in the ring and chokes him with the boot again. Then a sympathiser chokes him while the ref yells at Hassan. He doesn't have a chance in hell, apparently. DDT on Undertaker for a two count. Old man Taker's back up though. Hassan chokes him some more. Daivari is still screaming at ringside. They'd better not be killing these characters. Another USA chant starts, and Taker 'Dead Man's Up'. The two exchange blows, and Hassan goes down after a super punch from Taker. Taker goes outside and cleans house on the sympathisers, but one gets out piano wire and chokes him! So much for killing this angle. He gets rolled back into the ring, where Hassan has kept the ref distracted. Muhammed is signalled for the Camel Clutch. Huge heat on him now. He's locked it in, and Taker looks angry. He's bleeding from the lip. Taker is fighting to his knees, and now he's on his feet, Hassahn is up high, and it's an electric chair drop. Undertaker hits a big clothesline in the corner... twice! A terrorist enters ther ing, and gets a big boot. Undertaker whips Hassan itno the other corner, and attemtps a tombstone, but a sympathiser enters. They're storming in, but Taker is cleaning house. He drops an elbow into Hassan, but he gets out on two. Another one! And another! They're everywhere! Whip on Hassan, and he again attempts the Tombstone. Hassan counters and walks into a chokeslam! He nails it! 1-2-3! What a squash. The symapthisers sotmr the ring and beat the sh*t out of the Undertaker. The crowd are boooing like crazy as he's rolled out of the ring and beaten on by all of them. He rerverses a whip into the stairs, and then clobbers one who had picked up a chair. He hits a chokeslam on another! Oh, it's a proud day to be an American. One gets tossed onto the announce table (the Spanish one, that is). There's just Daivari and Hassan left. Daivari looks terrified, and tries to placate Taker. Hassan shoves Daivari into Taker, and he flees. Daivari is tossed out of the ring, and the last sympathiser cops a tombstone. Apparently it's the one who had the wire. Undertaker has cleaned house, and will face Batista/JBL at Summerlsma.
Wait, he's not done. He throws Daivari *into* the front of the table. He's actually inside it, although it took a second effort from Daviari to break it. Hassan is very slowly crawling away, and super slow Taker will undoubtedly catch him. It's the world's slowest chase scene! Undertaker's caught him, and Hassan is begging for mercy. Chokeslam on the ramp! I'm so glad JR isn't commentating. He's far too patriotic. He'd be caling him 'the few, the proud, and the brave'. He'd say Undertaker should be president.
Undertaker is lifting up sections fo ramp, and looks like he's going to do something dramatic. Maybe even something to 'kill' Hassan. He's signalling for a powerbomb into the newly opened hole. he throws Hassan through the hole he's created! He's gone!
WINNER AND #1 CONTENDER: Undertaker
