Raider_69
Post Whore
- Messages
- 61,174
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Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Rooster players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Rooster jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Rooster fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Gus Gould".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. What do Rooster fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. What do you have when 100 Rooster fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an Rooster fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Rooster fan - twice.
Q. How many Rooster fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Ricky Stuart to say that if the Referee had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
Q. What's the difference between a female Rooster fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Rooster fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk , or course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Rooster Fan?
A. A Doberman.
Q. What do Rooster Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
Q. What is the difference between a Rooster Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Rooster Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
A Rooster fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Rooster jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a Penrith scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Rooster fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard. No Rooster fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Rooster supporter.
"Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"
"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa."
"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"
"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your sixty bucks back, now p*ss off."
Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Rooster players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Rooster jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Rooster fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Gus Gould".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"
"Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. What do Rooster fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. What do you have when 100 Rooster fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an Rooster fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Rooster fan - twice.
Q. How many Rooster fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Ricky Stuart to say that if the Referee had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
Q. What's the difference between a female Rooster fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Rooster fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk , or course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Rooster Fan?
A. A Doberman.
Q. What do Rooster Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
Q. What is the difference between a Rooster Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Rooster Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
A Rooster fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Rooster jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a Penrith scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Rooster fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard. No Rooster fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Rooster supporter.
"Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"
"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa."
"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"
"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your sixty bucks back, now p*ss off."
