Monday Night Raw Results - December 5th 2005
Hey ya'll, just got back from Raw taped here in the HSBC Arena. Here's my run-down of how the night went.
The show started off with Carlito's Cabana. His guest was Eric Bischoff, who basically boasted about how great it was to see Raw triumph at Survivor Series. He said that he wanted to reward Shawn Michaels for carrying the flag for Raw and he would announce HBK's reward later in the night. Carlito wanted to know what his reward was, which is hilarious given he was the first eliminated. Bischoff thinks about it and then says 'Why not? I'm in a good mood. You can have a title shot against John Cena tonight!'. Carlito is understandbly happy about it.
This, of course, brings out John Cena. He gets a huge pop as he does his 'The Champ is Here' schtik. He congratulates Team Raw on their victory against Team Smackdown, but asks Bischoff why a 'trained martial artist' like him needed Vader to help him beat Teddy Long. He says that maybe Bischoff just has a thing for big, fat, sweaty men and wanted to have one close to him. Bischoff sputters and gets angry, and says Cena can't talk to him like that. Cena reminds him that he is the champ and that the chain gang has his back.
He then says that he's finished with Kurt Angle, and that he wants a new challenge. Bischoff says he's got somebody in mind, and Cena shouldn't worry his pretty little head about it. Cena makes a lame gay joke about Bischoff calling him pretty and then does his 'Just Bring It' thing.
COMMERCIAL
Gregory Helms vs. Romeo
Can you spell S-Q-U-A-S-H? Helms came out to decent heat and basically beat the sh*t out of Romeo for a few minutes before nailing a win with the Nightmare on Helms Street.
After the match he gets on the mike. He says he's sick and tired of having people remember him as a wannabe superhero who tagged with an overweight Samoan. He says he carried Rosey for the last year and that it's time for it to end. It's time for his career to flourish and it can't do that as long as it's stuck in Rosey's gravitational pull. That's why he's requesting a Loser Leaves Town match against Rosey for next week's Raw.
He continues to speak, but he's interrupted by Triple H's music. The Game was victorious at Survivor Series and he comes out with a cocky swagger. Helms remains in the ring, and watches warily as Triple H gets on the mike.
Triple H: Step aside, kid. I've got business to attend to.
Helms reluctantly steps out of the ring and Triple H embarks on his standard long, dull speech about how he is The Game and how he ended Ric Flair's career at Survivor Series. He says that while Bischoff is handing out title shots, maybe he needs to remember who the best damn wrestler in the WWE is.
WOOOOOOO!
Ric Flair struts out to a huge ovation. He doesn't bother speaking, and instead rushes down to the ring with a baseball bat. Triple H bails out, and Flair struts around the ring Wooooing his heart out. He then gets on the mike.
Flair: Triple H, we've got unfinished business! Woooo! We're one apiece and the way I see it, we need to go to a tie-breaker, woooo! So, Hunter, are you man enough to step into the ring with The Nature Boy one last time? Woooo!
He wooed some more before stumbling off.
Kane & Big Show (c) vs. T.N.T for the WWE Tag Titles
Our second squash match of the night, with Cade and Murdoch basically made to look like chumps in this one. They get off some token offence before Show and Kane pick up the 1-2-3 following a double chokeslam on Murdoch.
COMMERCIAL
We're not backstage with Maria and Chavo Guerrero. He gets a mammoth pop as it's revealed he's not in his Kerwin White gear. Maria prepares to ask him a question, but Chavo interrupts her. He compliments her on how fine she looks. He says he's almost tempted to forfeit his upcoming match next to show her how fine he thinks she looks. Maria plays dumb. Chavo says he's got a match against Rob Conway next.
Chavo: The Conman may do things the 'con way', but Chavo learned about lying, cheating, and stealing from the best in the business. Watch and learn, Conway.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Rob Conway
The first real match of the night is quite good. Conway starts off by being all arrogant and strutting around. He slaps Chavo, who doesn't seem like he'll retaliate, but then does so with a thumb to the eye. The crowd mark out for that. It's a good, even match with Chavo the obvious fan favourite. Conway looks likely to get a win when he manages to kick Chavo in the groin whilst the ref isn't watching, but Chavo is able to kick out at the last moment. Chavo begins to get in control and signals for the Low Rider, but Conway has had enough. He kicks Chavo again, this time in plain sight, and the referee calls for a DQ. Chavo is the winner, but Rob Conway is the one standing. He picks Chavo up for the Ego Trip, which draws huge heel heat.
COMMERCIAL
Returning from the break, and it's Shawn Michaels in Eric Bischoff's office. The fans love Michaels, clearly. Bischoff says he has called Shawn in here for one reason. He needs a #1 contender for January's Royal Rumble - and he thinks HBK is the right man for the job. That draws a huge reaction from the fans. HBK nods and smiles.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Masters
I was bracing myself for the inevitable Benjamin job here, since the WWE clearly respect Masters more than they do a guy who can actually wrestle. Things start off in usual fashion, Masters in control through his strength. He twice attempts the Masterlock. On the first occasion Shelton fights back before he can lock it in and on the second he drops Masters into a jawbreaker that lets him get on the offensive. These two do put on a good match, and the crowd really get worked up as Benjamin begins to get in control. They're even more ecstatic when he's able to avoid the Masterlock a third time and hit the T-Bone Suplex for a surprise 1-2-3.
Now we're backstage with Kurt Angle. He claims that Shawn Michaels being named #1 contender is a load of crap. He says that he was robbed at Survivor Series, and that he demands one last shot at Cena. He knows he can beat him. He won a freaking Gold medal, and he can beat a street thug like Cena. He's asking Bischoff for one last shot.
John Cena (c) vs. Carlito for the WWE Title
Cena is still heaps over, and he does what the crowd want in this one - dominating Carlito from the start. He looks set to pick up the win after about five minutes when he signals for the F-U, but Bischoff distracts the referee, allowing Carlito to slide free and hit a low blow. He does some old school, heelish brawling and choking on the champion with Bischoff's assistance. After a few minutes of this, Carlito gets Bischoff to pass him an apple, and waits with a moutful for Cena to stand. Cena does so, but he ducks the spray of apple and picks Carlito up. F-U! 1-2-3! Cena retains!
COMMERCIAL
After the break we find Shawn Michaels backstage. He enters Kurt Angle's dressing room, and the two long-standing rivals face off.
HBK: Settle down, big guy, I'm here with a proposal.
Kurt: What do you want?
HBK: The showstoppa's been thinking. Shawn Michaels thinks he has a solution to your problem
Kurt: What's that?
HBK: Kurt, I'm suggesting that we have the long awaited decider. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels IV - with the winner getting that shot at Cena.
Kurt: Why would you do that? What's in it for you?
HBK: You're kidding, right? Aside from putting on a match that people won't ever forget? I'm confident of winning, baby. I feel it in my veins. Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle IV will end the way our match at Homecoming should have. The winner... H...B...K.
COMMERCIAL
Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels for #1 Contendership
Once again these two put on the kind of match that they're famous for, a near twenty minute odyessy of wrestling brilliance. Both guys see-saw in control, and there's near falls aplenty. Both guys also attempt their finishers on a few occasions, with HBK even attempting the Angle Slam (which almost cost him the match, as Angle slid free and locked in the Ankle Lock). Nearing the twenty minute mark, both men clothesline each other and are down. The crowd begin to chant for HBK, but boo as Edge rushes into the ring with his briefcase. Michaels is first to his feet, and Edge drills him with it! The referee calls for the DQ, but Edge isn't done. As Angle stands he nails him with the Spear! Edge has laid out both contenders here!
He grabs a mike.
Edge: What about me!? I sit backstage and I watch in horror as Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle are gifted with opportunities I deserve. I watch in disgust as John Cena drags the image of the WWE Title through the dirt. Well I can't stand it any more. Bischoff, if you're looking for a #1 contender, look no further than me. I've got this contract, and I want my shot now. So bring out Cena and let's end his farce of a reign!
Bischoff's music hits, and the general manager of Raw comes out.
Bischoff: Edge, Edge, Edge... aside from the fact you've just ruined my main event, why should I give you what you want?
Edge: I've got money in the bank, Eric.
Bischoff: Maybe it's slipped your mind, Edge, but hopefully this will jog your memory...
A video of the original announcement of the Money in the Bank tournament is made - showing clearly that the title shot was for the World Heavyweight Title.
Edge: That's bullsh*t, Eric! You know it is! I can't just go over to Smackdown and wrestle for their title. Teddy wouldn't even let me in the God damn building. This is just a joke! I'm Mr. Money in the Bank, and yet I'm forgotten each and every time! Chris Jericho and now Kurt Angle have failed, what makes you think Shawn Michaels can get the job done!? I'm the logical choice. I want my shot now!
Eric: Edge, Edge... you need to calm down. I'm a reasonable guy. I'll tell you what. I'm going to make another Money in the Bank match, right here, right now. It will be Edge vs.....
Bischoff steps aside as the familiar music of the World's Largest Love Machine hits. Viscera struts out to the surprise of the crowd.
Viscera vs. Edge in a Money in the Bank Match
Mercifully this match doesn't last very long. Viscera is basically on the back foot before he can even step into the ring. Edge dominates him with underhanded tactics, and then ends it with two consecutive Spears.
As he celebrates, however, John Cena races down the ramp. The two begin brawling and soon Edge is forced to bail out of the ring. Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle, still ringside, block his escape. He's trapped between the champion and two contenders! As the show ends, Edge looks like he regrets his decision to interfere.
And now, without further ado - Smackdown!
