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Super bore 'can't happen again'
By Josh Massoud
April 6, 2006
SHORTLY after 10pm last Friday, a US tourist roused himself, stood up gingerly and said: "I'm never going to the rugby again."
A newcomer to "the Game they play in Heaven", he had just emerged from a two-hour stint in spectator hell watching the NSW Waratahs beat the Cheetahs in their Super 14 clash at Aussie Stadium.
Although not possessed of a sophisticated antipodean rugby palate, the American's post-match declaration is entitled to make rah-rahs as nervous as an Iranian nuclear power plant operator.
While bereft of any experience watching rugby, the rugby virgin was able to pick up on this much: "It's more boring than NFL."
What he and 25,295 fellow spectators at the ground might not have gleaned is that they paid to see just 32 minutes of football.
In a display of fortitude equal to that of third grade suburban XV mixing it with the All Blacks, The Daily Telegraph this week dissected a replay of the clash to determine whether it really was the most boring game of footy ever played.
On top of discovering the ball was in play for less than a third of the 101-minute epic, the odious re-run also revealed the match was stopped an incredible 25 times.
As Waratahs coach Ewen McKenzie and various commentators have since noted, the Cheetahs' dubious tactics were at play almost every time referee Chris Pollock blew time-off. The dominant assumption post-match was that the Cheetahs feigned injury as much as possible to slow down the rampant Waratahs. But a second look at the gruelling contest has revealed the true grandeur of the South Africans' stalling strategy.
The portents of gloom were evident after just four seconds, when flanker Sinethemba Zweni conceded a penalty from the kick-off. That ensured the first minute of the game was soaked up by a caution, instead of NSW's trademark running rugby.
Unfortunately for the expectant thousands who had paid up to $56 to be there, it was a recurrent theme.
Three minutes in, Cheetahs' hooker Tiaan Liebenberg took more than 30 seconds to throw the ball into a lineout.
With his hand to his ear, Liebenberg appeared to have been suffering from a hearing problem.
The extent of that complaint was rivalled only by his sore hand - an ailment which saw the game stopped for one minute early in the second half for the magic spray.
"A little bit of Aeroguard ... there's a lot of mosquitoes around tonight," Fox Sports commentator and ex-Waratahs skipper Phil Kearns quipped while the aerosol treatment was applied.
Not to be outdone, prop Jannie Du Plessis exhausted almost three minutes to have a troublesome calf inspected on four separate occasions.
The final routine examination in the 57th minute raised a slow hand clap from the frustrated crowd and the ire of referee Phillips.
"You either need to get off or just play," Phillips yelled.
If he had instituted to the get-on-with it policy earlier, bored fans might have been spared two drinks breaks in one minute while Zweni was sin-binned during the first half.
Or the final indignation of a 90 second rehydration stop with the game just seconds from its merciful conclusion.
Speaking for those who watched the game with the furtherance of rugby in mind, McKenzie said afterwards:
"There is a responsibility to deliver a product."We're in the entertainment business so you've got to deliver something."
His players were equally disturbed. League convert and noted entertainer Wendell Sailor described the entire match as "disappointing".
"At one time five or six of them went down and I said, 'Are you guys dreaming? This is not altitude boys'," Sailor said.
This season, the Waratahs have been given just six chances to mark their turf in Sydney's cut-throat sporting environment.
So there's already enough pressure for the team to put their best foot forward every time they step on to Aussie Stadium.
"At this level people come to see entertaining rugby," Sailor said.
"It's just disappointing because it was a home game."
Skipper Chris Whitaker added: "I don't think the crowd was very happy. They came to watch a good game and it certainly wasn't one of the highlights of the season."
Before last Friday's game, all the key indicators showed the Waratahs are forging ahead.
Attendances and TV ratings were headed in the right direction, and the team itself can do no better than ride high atop the ladder.
But McKenzie realises this game - on and off the field - is better viewed in light of every coach's favourite cliche, which is, "One week at a time".
"If we all went out and played like that every week, no one would bother turning up," he said.
"I'm hoping this is just a one-off from a tactical perspective, because you can't let it happen again."
While last Friday's game didn't have him breaking out the NoDoz, ARU managing director Gary Flowers has acknowledged its glacial nature needs attention. Flowers, also a director of SANZAR, will confer with his southern hemisphere rugby counterparts at the end of the season on how to tackle the problem of constant stoppages.
The Daily Telegraph
http://foxsports.news.com.au/story/0,8659,18724450-23217,00.html
It certainly was a huge bore that game, with only tries coming at the very end.
I hear that some new rules are being trialled in South Africa at the moment (the idea of some high powered rugby people including Rod McQueen).
By Josh Massoud
April 6, 2006
SHORTLY after 10pm last Friday, a US tourist roused himself, stood up gingerly and said: "I'm never going to the rugby again."
A newcomer to "the Game they play in Heaven", he had just emerged from a two-hour stint in spectator hell watching the NSW Waratahs beat the Cheetahs in their Super 14 clash at Aussie Stadium.
Although not possessed of a sophisticated antipodean rugby palate, the American's post-match declaration is entitled to make rah-rahs as nervous as an Iranian nuclear power plant operator.
While bereft of any experience watching rugby, the rugby virgin was able to pick up on this much: "It's more boring than NFL."
What he and 25,295 fellow spectators at the ground might not have gleaned is that they paid to see just 32 minutes of football.
In a display of fortitude equal to that of third grade suburban XV mixing it with the All Blacks, The Daily Telegraph this week dissected a replay of the clash to determine whether it really was the most boring game of footy ever played.
On top of discovering the ball was in play for less than a third of the 101-minute epic, the odious re-run also revealed the match was stopped an incredible 25 times.
As Waratahs coach Ewen McKenzie and various commentators have since noted, the Cheetahs' dubious tactics were at play almost every time referee Chris Pollock blew time-off. The dominant assumption post-match was that the Cheetahs feigned injury as much as possible to slow down the rampant Waratahs. But a second look at the gruelling contest has revealed the true grandeur of the South Africans' stalling strategy.
The portents of gloom were evident after just four seconds, when flanker Sinethemba Zweni conceded a penalty from the kick-off. That ensured the first minute of the game was soaked up by a caution, instead of NSW's trademark running rugby.
Unfortunately for the expectant thousands who had paid up to $56 to be there, it was a recurrent theme.
Three minutes in, Cheetahs' hooker Tiaan Liebenberg took more than 30 seconds to throw the ball into a lineout.
With his hand to his ear, Liebenberg appeared to have been suffering from a hearing problem.
The extent of that complaint was rivalled only by his sore hand - an ailment which saw the game stopped for one minute early in the second half for the magic spray.
"A little bit of Aeroguard ... there's a lot of mosquitoes around tonight," Fox Sports commentator and ex-Waratahs skipper Phil Kearns quipped while the aerosol treatment was applied.
Not to be outdone, prop Jannie Du Plessis exhausted almost three minutes to have a troublesome calf inspected on four separate occasions.
The final routine examination in the 57th minute raised a slow hand clap from the frustrated crowd and the ire of referee Phillips.
"You either need to get off or just play," Phillips yelled.
If he had instituted to the get-on-with it policy earlier, bored fans might have been spared two drinks breaks in one minute while Zweni was sin-binned during the first half.
Or the final indignation of a 90 second rehydration stop with the game just seconds from its merciful conclusion.
Speaking for those who watched the game with the furtherance of rugby in mind, McKenzie said afterwards:
"There is a responsibility to deliver a product."We're in the entertainment business so you've got to deliver something."
His players were equally disturbed. League convert and noted entertainer Wendell Sailor described the entire match as "disappointing".
"At one time five or six of them went down and I said, 'Are you guys dreaming? This is not altitude boys'," Sailor said.
This season, the Waratahs have been given just six chances to mark their turf in Sydney's cut-throat sporting environment.
So there's already enough pressure for the team to put their best foot forward every time they step on to Aussie Stadium.
"At this level people come to see entertaining rugby," Sailor said.
"It's just disappointing because it was a home game."
Skipper Chris Whitaker added: "I don't think the crowd was very happy. They came to watch a good game and it certainly wasn't one of the highlights of the season."
Before last Friday's game, all the key indicators showed the Waratahs are forging ahead.
Attendances and TV ratings were headed in the right direction, and the team itself can do no better than ride high atop the ladder.
But McKenzie realises this game - on and off the field - is better viewed in light of every coach's favourite cliche, which is, "One week at a time".
"If we all went out and played like that every week, no one would bother turning up," he said.
"I'm hoping this is just a one-off from a tactical perspective, because you can't let it happen again."
While last Friday's game didn't have him breaking out the NoDoz, ARU managing director Gary Flowers has acknowledged its glacial nature needs attention. Flowers, also a director of SANZAR, will confer with his southern hemisphere rugby counterparts at the end of the season on how to tackle the problem of constant stoppages.
The Daily Telegraph
http://foxsports.news.com.au/story/0,8659,18724450-23217,00.html
It certainly was a huge bore that game, with only tries coming at the very end.
I hear that some new rules are being trialled in South Africa at the moment (the idea of some high powered rugby people including Rod McQueen).
