Our Hero goes to Hamburg on a train after a night on the town. Having had only 2 hrs sleep, he falls asleep at the door on the floor of the train (not booking early enough to get a seat) and wakes to find the door open and people trying to step over him, getting on and off the train.
In Hamburg, our Hero dines in the company of elite businessmen during a Japanese - German work relations endevour in the finest restuarant known to man, where people grovel and crawl about you, the food is superb and the wine flows freely.
The next day our Hero tours Hamburg and sees the sights. He has a ticket to Mama Mia, a musical held in a theatre on the Reeperbahn (which cost 96 euro - $200 Au, not worth it, really, but good nonetheless) and has some time to kill. He gets a feed and walks towards the theatre. On the way, he is confronted by a man outside a club who tells the Hero to come inside for a drink, there are naked dancers inside. He tells our Hero that all he pays for is his drinks, and a beer is 5 euro. Our Hero, wanting to experience all of Hamburgs culture, goes inside the club.
He is seated and confronted by a woman wearing a bikini. She asks him if he wants a drink, our Hero tells her a beer, she brings him one and charges him 6 euro. Our Hero is not so easily fooled, and tells the woman that the man at the front of the club told him it was only 5 euro. The Hero is then charged 5 euro. Advantage - Hero.
The woman then sits next to our Hero and begins conversing with him. Throughout the conversation it is revealed that she is 27 y.old from Madrid, she has worked at the establishment for 1 year. She is a dancer, not a prostitute, and she would really like to give our Hero a private dance. After about 5 minutes of conversation, the woman asks our Hero if he would buy her a small drink. Our Hero, forever the gentleman, (reluctantly) obliges. The woman is then brought a glass of champagne by the bartender.
Our Hero, ignoring pleas for a private dance, finishes his beer while talking with the woman who now touches him affectionately on the leg and face. Our Hero is then alerted to the fact that the time on his watch is incorrect by sighting a wall clock and wishes to leave in order to attend his musical. The woman asks for our Hero's bill.
The bartender brings over a scrap of paper with 243 Euros written on it. Our Hero says, "Are you joking or what?!" The bartender was not joking. The bartender then explained that the usual cost of a bottle champagne is 243 Euro ($500 AU). Our Hero says, "It must be a f**king good bottle of champagne! I'm not paying it."
The bartender then became angry with our Hero, saying this is a gentleman's club and the prices are very high. Our Hero then retorts that the beer was 5 euro. The bartender then states that the price of the champagne is so high because of government tax. It is then that the Hero realises he was probably meant to be feeling the woman up or something, and that a small drink was code for 'special treats', or other such ulterior.
Our Hero still refused to pay for the drink. The Bartender then became irate and told our Hero that he must pay or else. Our Hero, having heard stories regarding the brutality and frequency of murders caused by the Russian Mafia on the Reeperbahn only hours earlier, feared for his personal safety and gave the bartender his credit card. Once the transaction was complete, the bartender became very friendly again, asking our hero to stay as long as he wants and asked our Hero of he would like to purchase a private dance from the Spanish s**t. Our Hero told the bartender that he may need his arm and leg in the future and so must decline his offer. Our Hero then returned to his seat and abused the Spanish s**t, who then bought him a beer "Pro Gratis". Our Hero slugged the beer down and left for the musical, picking fights with anyone who crossed his path and giving them the Crazy Eye.
Our Hero then sat in the musical, plotting ways to extract revenge, and figured that it would be best just to ask his bank to cancel the transaction once he got home.
