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New lyrics- what do you reckon?

Knightmare

Coach
Messages
10,716
I just finished writing lyrics to this song that I thought up last night while walking to the club. It's not a song about me or based on anything happening in my life right now, it just came to me really. What do you think? I'd be especially interested to hear from anyone who lives/ has lived in Brisbane, whether you think it sums up life in the River City?

'LEAVING BRISBANE'
The sun rises early and brightness brings another day
Kicking out from the bed-sheet like a start from some dream
Reminds me of you and I know I can't let you slip away
Out on the road, everything is so open but the distances don't change
It takes a while to get anywhere across this town
In the South-East corner I've had enough, I won't any longer hide away

'Cause I'm leaving this town and coming back to you
I've had my time and I know we can start again
Let me back give me a chance, I'll show you what I can do
'Cause all I want is you

Sitting on the verandah drinking, rum and colas going to my head
We watched the lightning flash and the clouds roll in one hot evening
Flashbacks to what I didn't think of the anger, those things to you I said
Like some dream I just remembered little pieces come back to me
The river winds around and I know this isn't my place
I thought I was headed for the better but where you are is all I want to be

Children race pst on bikes barefoot just another afternoon at play
Schooldays not bothering to go and strumming their guitars
I thought I could leave and never look back but I can't stay away
Standing on the mountain watching the orange buildings as the sun sets
Alone up here and it's like taking one last look in the distance
And I know we can't end this way because I'm certain there's more to it yet

(CHORUS)

In the city every pub is a short walk to the next
From bar to bar I go, head growing lighter
Nobody has anywhere to go soon
In the night the emos and the goths lurk out on streets
While the police hang around in Queen Street waiting for a call
Up in Brunswick Street everyone's out to get wasted, get high or get off
The homeless lounge around where no-one tells them to move on
Up at The Caxton it's raining beer cans
And some guy in a maroon jumper tells me to piss off home
The parks are quiet and the river glistens silent
In the weatherboard suburbs canetoads hop across the streets
Had to walk home from the station because it was 5 hours till the next train
Reminded me of that time you and I got caught out in the rain

(CHORUS)

And I'm coming back for you.
 

Knightmare

Coach
Messages
10,716
Emo- ew! Musically it'd sound nothing like emo. And no Dani, it's not about who you might think it is. Even I'm not that lame :LOL:
 

Knightmare

Coach
Messages
10,716
Going from Raider 69's "emo" comment, here is my song again- Emo Style :LOL: :

The clouds swoop in and darkness brings another day
Kicking out from the bed-sheet like a start from my nightmare
Reminds me of you and I know I can't let you slip away
Out on the road, everything is so dark but happiness never comes
It takes a while to get anywhere across this town
In the South-East corner I've had enough, I won't take this pain anymore

'Cause I'm leaving this town and coming back to you
I've had my time and I want us to start again
Let me back give me a chance, I'll show you what I can do
'Cause if I spend another day without you I will die in pain



Sitting on the verandah cutting, rush of blood going to my head
We watched the lightning flash and the clouds roll in one cold evening
Flashbacks to what I didn't think of the anger, those things to you I said
Like some dream I just remembered little pieces come back to me
The river winds around and I know this isn't my place
I thought I was headed for the better but where you are is all I want to be

Children race past on bikes barefoot just another afternoon at play
Schooldays not bothering to go and listening to their ipods
I thought I could leave and never look back but I can't stay away
Standing on the mountain watching the black buildings as the rain pours
Alone up here and it's like taking one last look in the distance
And I know we can't end this way because I want there to be more to it yet

(CHORUS)

In the city every pub is a short walk to the next
From bar to bar I go, head growing darker
Nobody has anywhere to go soon
In the night we lurk the streets in black
While the police hang around in Queen Street waiting to make life hell
Up in Brunswick Street everyone's out to get wasted, get high or get off
The homeless lounge around where life has swallowed them whole
Up at The Caxton it's raining beer cans
And some guy in a maroon jumper tells me that My Chemical Romance is sh*t
The parks are silent and the river glistens dark
In the weatherboard suburbs canetoads hop across the streets
Had to walk home from the station because it was 5 hours till the next train
Reminded me of that time you and I got caught out in the rain

(CHORUS)

And I'm coming back for you.
And I want my Dashboard Confessional hooded top back
I need you baby I need you
If you don't come back to me I'll put on a Celine Dion album
And cut myself in my room until I cry myself to sleep
You are the only one who stops the pain of this black world.
 
Messages
4,502
Knightmare said:
:lol: Like I said, it's not about anyone and I've never been in a long distance relationship.

good and don't you ever do it...

Im from Brisbane and I thought it was pretty good...
 

Knightmare

Coach
Messages
10,716
Samwise said:
see if you can work the words 'hands in the air' and 'just don't care' into it somehow.


Okey, so we've got:
"Put yo hands in the air"
"...just don't care"

As well as:
"The real slim shady"
"I didn't shoot the referee"
"Biyatch"
"Ho"
"Motherf**ker"
"In the house"
"This one goes out to my homies in...."
"Baby girl I just can't stop thinking abouchoo"

I think we'll have a hit on our hands!
 

Knightmare

Coach
Messages
10,716
:LOL: Yeah, sounds good. Musically I reckon it would sound a bit like a track from the Hootie & the Blowfish album 'Cracked rear view'.
 

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