In between driving people around today I caught a couple of glimpses of a real dud of a midday movie on NBN - it was about a self-conscious regional newsreader who, in an effort to lose weight to win a promotion to the big city newsdesk, sells her soul to the devil. Contracts are signed, and suddenly she loses weight, gets a boyfriend and everyone loves her - sounds honky dory already.
But alas, the Devil has not finished with her, and he wants to kill her in a car crash to get her soul quickly. Her boyfriend is also about to be killed in the horror car accident that the Devil gave her a VHS tape of just to verify that they would both die in the accident (don't ask me how he got one of the cameramen to agree to be in the car when it blows up, but hey), and the stage is set for her to die.
But they outwit the Devil, highlighting the clause in the contract that said that if she was to gain weight past a specified weight, the contract was void. So in one last act of defiance and showily victorious motions, she weighs herself in front of the devil. He cannot believe that she is now 117 pounds instead of 116 and they point towards the heavens to say that they received help in getting pregnant.
The skies open up, the devil is killed by fire from heaven, and the closing credits start rolling.
I'm still trying to sort out whether this movie takes the all-time cake for worst movie ever - if it indeed does take the award, it will have to have been deemed worse than Mars Attacks - a tough ask but it is certainly competing.
As the sarcastic comic book guy from The Simpsons would say: "Worst movie everr!"
