Press Release from Austar - As useful as tits on a bull

[DRRRAGONS]

I haven't got a new remote control. Am I going to get one and if so, when?
Some of you may not have yet received your new remote control. Don't worry - your current remote control works fine with all aspects of the New AUSTAR Digital service - including BOX OFFICE!

Gee thanks, My old remote control works fine with the new service that doesn't have the features that require the new remote control.

There are new remote controls and we are gradually dispatching them out, but the overwhelming response has created a bit of a backlog. We hope to have them all circulated in the next 6-8weeks. If you haven't got yours yet, sit tight, it will be with you soon.

I don't give a crap about your backlog, just give me my friggin remote control.

What's happening with BOX OFFICE?
We are looking to launch the BOX OFFICE service very shortly. We have undertaken rigorous testing to ensure the optimum customer experience and are extremely close to a national launch. We hope you'll be delighted with the service as much as we are. Watch this space for more information......

Very informative - NOT!

What's the latest on Sports Active and News Active?
Again, these two services are being enhanced and developed as you read this section. We hope to launch Sports Active mid year with News Active being introduced later in 2004.

We are continually developing new ground breaking technology for you to enjoy and working hard to ensure you receive the latest products and services. We are very excited about introducing them to you, so please stay tuned to this website or Channel 99/999 for updates. In the meantime, we trust you will continue to enjoy the wealth of great entertainment available on New AUSTAR Digital.

I am glad you cleared that up.

I hate Austars service.

 

[Twizzle]

The old remote does not worh the TV guide menu any more despite what ther tell us.

 

[madunit]

But Twizzle, they said it does work. Maybe the problem is psychological. You think it doesn't work, but in reality it does work. Or it could be environmental, that the amount of light refracting aspects in the air between your remote and the set top box has ensured that the sufficient amount of infra red rays doesn't make it, thus, the menu doesn't work. ;-)

 

[Twizzle]

yeah........sorry, that must be it.

 

[madunit]

Don't agree with me. I got no idea what I'm talking about....

...damn, it looked impressive though. ;-)