Raiders Roosters *Mon special*

[St. Brett]

I'm running late, I know. Hang on hang on.

My frig'n internet photo-shop joint was just temporarily shut down too making it hard for me to produce my photo's for today.
But without furtherado.

Canberra-

Herrrreeee we are....born to be kings....we're the poonces of the universe.

And here we are, we're the poonces of the universe, fighting for survival (on the NRL ladder)

Here here I know......no Raiders were picked to play for Australia and we're low on morale heading into tonights game but heads up anyway fella's.
Monday night football is upon us.
It's something special ain't it?

Listen....I got a bag of goodies with me today. We'll get to that later. I gotta go e-mail somebody before we proceed.
I'm here for you today if you need somebody to talk to.

Don't be a stranger now.

 

[jed]

Don't be a stranger now.

Stranger than what? You???

 

[peter_raiders]

Looks like that 'Loser' sign is pointed at yourself there buddy.

 

[Chachi]

Herrrreeee we are....born to be kings....we're the poonce of the universe.

I always thought it was spelt "pounce". Well there you go 'eh.

 

[St. Brett]

As you are well aware......the Big League Magazine failed me again!

What's that? 4 times this year now?

Their reluctence to comply with participation is a cause for concern..

In any ordinary circumstance other fools would gobble up and publish what I write with glee. They'd probably ask for seconds too..

You see, when you sin bin a man in a game of rugby league you deny the paying public the privilege of watching him play.

The way I see it, no difference with my letters. Big League are denying the readers a chance to see greatness. shame on them!

So we have to ask a question.....why are they not publishing my letters this year?

What am I doing wrong?

Anger & direct hatred hasn't worked in my pieces so far.

What we need then is a different angle perhaps.

I've noted that most published letters so far have been kept short and swift this year too.
And they've all been feel good-kiss me arse-I'm feeling peachy type rosey letters that give you goosebumps and make you feel all tickled pink and leave you spiritually cleansed.

So I have to do a complete 360 and up the ante in the opposite direction, eh?

I see, I see.

Where's my checklist then?

If I were to arse kiss I would need a double application of lip balm and then combine the following.

1) deceit
2) Fabric softner
3) Manipulation
4) Tall fibs

Yes...I have to fabricate some positive sh*t if I'm to be letter of the week this Thursday.

But first I need an angle to work with.

How 'bout Bulldogs? Yer, they'll do. I'll lie through my teeth and use them as the frabric softner.
Could also throw The Titans in the mix somewhere as an added bonus to feel all gooey and pie eyed.
But what we really need is some.....patriotism. You know? All that sun going down stand shoulder to shoulder mate sh*t.

It has to smack of bullsh*t with potency stronger than Dynamic Lifter.

I'll be right back after I think of something.

Coming up next a little word from our sponsor.

BRB.

 

[St. Brett]

Chaichi

They call him Ralph Mouth because he's down on Chachi.

Chaichi

Poonce.

As in the Purple Prince poonce. You know? Prince? Is it punce or ponce?

What ever I gotta type this e-mail and I'll get back to you.

Hang on.

 

[woodgers]

You see, when you sin bin a man in a game of rugby league you deny the paying public the privilege of watching him play.

The way I see it, no difference with my letters.

:lol: Now that is good humour. I like that Mr Brett.

How was your weekend mate? Kill any humans, decapitate any domestic house pets? Give us the low down from sunny Cartwright (was that where you live, it was ages since you posted that as untouchable...?).

Can we win tonight Brett? And if so, who are your tips for MOTM, 1st & last tryscorer? I'll get there and shoot round the TAB.

 

[St. Brett]

Hello Woodgers

Woodgers, that was Canberra's old sponsor right? Or was he a player?

Anyway......we'll get back to your queries ina minute sir.

I got it.


I've done it, Woodgers.

I kept it short sharp an swift. It's direct and straight to the point.

And you heard it exclusively here first.

Read this Woodgers. I believe this is the one to be printed this week in Big League.

Letters editor, Big League Magazine

True, a legend has departed.
But as the sun has set Rugby League still goes on.
The chain of liberty has to be repaid with the blood of the fallen sometimes.
He has given, we have recieved!
The epoch of the dawning of the next phase begins.
Game on fella's.
The Bulldogs fans are behaving themselves and the Gold Coast are surprising us all.
Oh yes, rugby league is definately still alive and kicking in this here future.
Remember the game doesn't hinge on one player.

Brett Gaddes

Woodgers....huh? Now, I want your honest opinion alright? It's articulate and direct eh?
Kept short. No negatives. Maybe a little over the top with the soldiers of fortune bit about liberty an that.
If they overlook this one then my patience will truly be tested.

This is the one I believe.

I can only marvel at that work.

I see some turquoise from BRS got published last week. Week before it was some twit from NTH QLD I think and week before that it was MLB.

You know what? I think these interstate and overseas teams are dominating our game too much today and it's starting to make me sick.
All us Sydney teams are pretty ABC really.
Tired teams.

 

[St. Brett]

Todays post has been brought to you by Zoggs!

Zoggs is German for Loofta. Loofta is German for 99 six shloof baloons..

Hi, I'm Brett Gaddes.
If you're a swimming enthusiast like me then you'll be aware that Zoggs is the latest swimming brand.
That's why I rely on Speedos.
Speedos.......although.......they are made in Thailand and my pair broke the other day in the pool from exposure to sun.
Hmmm?????

Brett Gaddes. Because this is my world.

 

[Leethal]

So I have to do a complete 360 and up the ante in the opposite direction, eh?

Hey Brett. 360 is a full circle. If you were going to go in the opposite direction, you would only do a 180.

Here endeth the lesson.

 

[St. Brett]

Hi...I'm Brett Gaddes.

Join my triple AAA Clan.
AAA. Because we're Australians Against Arseholes!
So if you see twits acting odd by dressing up in unusual gear and loitering with pigs and tea pots then join AAA immediately and smash arseholes.

Now.......El Chupa Cabre, what is it, and what can it do for you? Absolutely f**k all.

Tonight in Canberra

Tonight in Canberra we take on Easts!

Woodgers has politely asked me for my input for tonights game.

Let's see shall we?

Well, it's kind of hard when todays Daily Telegraph don't even print tonights teams!
Tonights game has hardly rated a mention in todays paper.

How are we to get the low-down if they're not gonna help us with the basics?

Christ we're already hard pressed against it.

Woodgers bro......I'm leading towards a Roosters victory, unfortunately.
You see, Easts will see this game as a 4 point bonus. This will boost their season tonight and they will start by beating you and leap frogging heaps of teams on the ladders.
So basically the push for 4 points will be more than enough motivation to enspire them.
It's a 4 point game for them as they have the bye next week so Canberra will be hard pressed against it.

But in saying that Canberra will score the first try. I will put 10 quid on Phil Graham to score first try. Him or Chalk to score first. I think they're specials to score first.

Half time will read something like 14-4 to Easts and fulltime will be 22 points to 10 Roosters victory.

 

[Chachi]

They call him Ralph Mouth because he's down on Chachi.

:lol:
...hang on, are you calling me a homersexual or somthing??

You are one bizarre dude my friend...and Donnie Darko is one hell of a fu@ked up movie by the way!

 

[Chachi]

But in saying that Canberra will score the first try. I will put 10 quid on Phil Graham to score first try. Him or Chalk to score first. I think they're specials to score first.

Not a bad tip - but if I was you I'd put $20 on Chalk as first tryscorer.
I'm putting $50 on Dave Brown opening the scoring for Easts with a 55 metre penalty goal.

 

[raidersforme]

Not a bad tip - but if I was you I'd put $20 on Chalk as first tryscorer.
I'm putting $50 on Dave Brown opening the scoring for Easts with a 55 metre penalty goal.

:lol::lol:

I thought Josh Miller was going to score first

 

[St. Brett]

Josh Miller? And what would he be paying? $38?

Take Phil Graham to score first try. He's a special.

I hate to be cutting this short but I gotta skadoot.

What's the time anyway? Not long now.

Shouldn't you boys be heading down to the ground? The earlier games will be kicking off soon.

And Jed sir.......let's not make it habit of reffering to me as The Office fella please.
We won't be seing that happen again, shall we? Remember, AAA!

Well, I'm off.

Do you want me to do my match summory tonight, or not? I know it doesn't make for good reading........will I?

Oh by the way.....I had a wank in a toilet booth at the pool the other day......It didn't raise a mention like Dunny Bill Williams.
Aren't I news worthy?

 

[Chachi]

:lol::lol:

I thought Josh Miller was going to score first

Good point, forgot about Josh.
$20 on a Miller, Chalk, Frawley tryscoring trifecta.

 

[dubby]

hello...

 

[St. Brett]

Dubby holmes.

I know you had a direct personal go at me and my folks but I feel a need to help you.

If you want my help here it is (on posting images on the net)

Take your link for example.

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...iot-genius.jpg

What you do is type this

Don't forget the /

So

right after jpg



Dubby....you and umm, Green Eyed have nasty B-boy attitudes! Ligthen up a little eh? Life ain't all that serious if you think about it.

 

[St. Brett]

Just quickly.

I was in the TAB then and firstly Marshall Chalk isn't listed so apparently he's not playing tonight.

So I've got $10 quid on Phil Graham to score first and last try at $11's

Fox Sports Man of the Match a few quid on both ALAN TONGUE and Bwaith Anasta. (Tongue at 15-1) (Anasta at 8-1)

Anasta has to prove himself tonight.

I really don't know who'll win tonight.

There was merit for Easts when they played the Cowboys so they're not hopeless.

But I'm loving the fact they're the Sydney confidential party socialisers. Suckers.

Enjoy the game tonight, Canberra.

Remember AAA, people!

Brett.

 

[dubby]

Life is alot more serious than what you realise and personalities like mine and GE just cant accept yours.

You think you are funny. I bet no one here reads your lame posts all the way through. The funniest thing is, you are the most frequent poster and visitor to your own threads.

Quite frankly; you disgust me.

BTW, thanks for the tip!