Scared to Quit Drinking...

Discussion in 'Go ahead!...ask us anything!' started by David brown, Jul 1, 2018.

  1. Bring back John Fifita

    Bring back John Fifita Bench

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    @David brown

    Hats off mate for posting here. That's a great sign that you truly recognize your issue and are serious in making a change in your life. That's the first step..

    And while you are the only one out there who are walking a mile in your shoes, knowing there are others here who have been through/going through similar issues proves you aren't alone fella.

    No need to be scared.

    Indeed others have said the best advice - get professional help. Good friends can support but a professional knows the keys to successfully turning things around. And they will naturally challenge you also - which is a good thing to keep your focus and achieve your goals.

    Myself - I can be a downright boozer with the best of them. I'm in Business Development and fly around Oz a lot, out with clients at night/networking etc which involves plenty of fluids. Last year as our business was really in a growth phase I was out at least 3/4 nights through the week. This as i saw it was simply part of my job. But when I was back home I'd automatically plow back a bottle of wine (sometimes 2) with ease and without a second thought. It became habit. And it was adversely affecting a lot of aspects of my world.

    I had a full medical last year where my liver reading was off the charts. My doctor said he'd noticed I wasn't my usual self and while I thought I was totally fine, it wasn't til I took heed and cut back on my boozing to realize I was far from fine.

    In the past i'd been pretty good at being able to flick off the switch when I wanted to/needed to. But I was off the rails this time so it wasn't as easy and i really feared I was on the edge of full-blown alcoholism. Not wanting to drink but NEEDING to drink. Very confronting.

    So I made a commitment this year I committed to bypass the booze when I'm home through the week, while also committing to things on weekends that don't involve the pub. Golf, Hiking, loads off different stuff. You'd be amazed how much better you feel after simply going on a walk / hike somewhere - good exercise for the body but also for the mind. And the more you do, you see the world through clear and positive eyes. It has definitely saved me from my fear of alcoholism turning into reality. It's easy and it's free!

    I still have my client blowouts and big nights out with my mates but I balance it far better now and I'm far better off for it. Simply put - I'm now a far happier and healthier man.

    So along with professional advice, Id suggest setting yourself some small goals initially. Achieve them then stretch your goals further. See where it takes you. I'm sure it will lead to you where you REALLY want to be.

    Good luck mate and look forward to reading a post from you sometime into the (hopefully near) future when you've made more positive steps.

    All the best,
    Guy
     
  2. The Charlatan

    The Charlatan Coach

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    I was a heavy drinker for almost a decade. Started off as a binge drinker as a teen and became chronic when I started my trade where alcoholism was commonplace.

    I still drink now but I have also changed as a person so my priorities in life changed. I was very surprised at how quickly I adjusted. Settling down, getting married and having a child were big factors. I didn't want my young bloke growing up in a home where dad being pissed was normal. I didn't like drinking heavily around the wife and being married meant there were other things in life for us to enjoy together. The wife seldom drinks as well which helps. I am a lot more career oriented now and not on the tools so I value not waking up with hangovers and not getting shitfaced around potential customers and other people with a name in the industry.

    I don't drink to excess any more, I don't drink during the week and a carton will last me a month.

    We all have different motivations for why we do and don't drink, seek professional help so they can help tailor a plan to suit your circumstances.

    All the best with it Dave.
     
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  3. David brown

    David brown Juniors

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    Cheers for the responses fellas truly appreciate it, I wrote this after a week bender in a pretty bad place I'm to proud to ask for help in person so I though online was my only option... Been doing my best lately to keeping things under control just taking it day by day.. Once again thank you..
     
  4. TheFrog

    TheFrog Coach

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    Have an average of 3 days a week free of the sauce, on those days I drink it's 5-8 standards. Very rarely more than that.
     
  5. The Charlatan

    The Charlatan Coach

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    I'll have a couple of schooners with my old man on a Friday afternoon. And then enjoy 4-6 beers over a weekend, often less if I'm not around the house.
     
  6. Willie Ray

    Willie Ray Juniors

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    Good to hear,stay logged in champ.
     
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  7. myrrh ken

    myrrh ken Bench

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    I tell you what's not a bad beer substitute... that kombucha stuff. Got kind of a fermented beery taste to it. And about as wanky as a craft beer to boot.
     
  8. Manurewa_Marlins

    Manurewa_Marlins Bench

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    For me, it was approaching 30 and still being out galevanting (sp?) like I was 21. Living in Asia, it's very easy to do, doesn't affect the wallet, and the dating/whatever scene for expats is ridiculous. I noticed the hangovers getting worse for a whole lot less. Add on top of this the effects it was having on my relationship (she put up with a hell of a lot) and work (got pissed and a work do and fought with a colleague which was ridiculously embarassing, around contract negotiation time too so I was very lucky it didn't play a part in that).

    Then came the health factor. Two weeks ago I was shitting blood, not solid shits, but liquid blood. I was rushed to hospital with an ulcer 2cm wide. I was lucky not to be critical given the amount of blood I lost. I've been told I'll be off the sauce for 3-4 months atleast whilst I treat the ulcer, and tea-totling for the rest of my life given how bad it was at my age.

    The worst thing for me has been my diet - I have to be super strict about what I eat over this period and it's hell. I've got the blues 24/7 and am constantly trying to seek out replacements which won't aggrivate the ulcer. My energy levels are f**ked and my body is very low on blood - still trying to rectify this.

    All because of the booze. There's nothing like sitting in a Chinese hospital on an IV waiting on your insurance man to approve treatment and care, bleeding out your asshole - to make you think, you know what, a few severed 'friendships' and a few quiet nights in, are worth it given the alternative.

    Good luck mate, plenty of strategies and approaches you can take. Whichever suits you best you'll be better for it in the long run. Hang in there!
     
  9. sensesmaybenumbed

    sensesmaybenumbed Moderator Staff Member

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    Jesus. I'd have that biopsied and an endoscopy just to be sure. Head home for that.
     
  10. Jimmy Clark

    Jimmy Clark Juniors

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    Jesus! How much grog per night did it take to get to that stage? I drink pretty heavily but luckily for me my health is good.
     
  11. Manurewa_Marlins

    Manurewa_Marlins Bench

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    Had the endo, determined that it doesnt have to be closed. On the meds now and seeing the specialist again tomorrow. Fingers crossed we're on the right track. If it's any worse I'll probably end up having to go home, yeah.

    Culmination of a few things I think, but yeah. Not ideal!
     
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  12. Manurewa_Marlins

    Manurewa_Marlins Bench

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    ...also, thank god for health insurance!!!
     
  13. Legion

    Legion Juniors

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    G'day Dave.
    Good for you that you've recognised that there's a problem. Thanks for sharing.
    It's not easy for most of us blokes to admit to a problem & ask for advice (because we're MEN we can fix everything, ... right? Lol)

    There's a huge difference between a pisshead & an alcoholic. One only ever goes 'cold turkey' from grog if one's an alcoholic. As others have advised, going cold turkey can be dangerous for an alcoholic.

    Everyone needs to find what works for them. There's no real 'cure-all'.
    Your health is the first priority. Liver disease is nasty. Pain I can tolerate, to a degree, but I can't take nausea. The liver is the most amazing organ & will heal itself given the chance.
    Start taking a mega-multi-B tablet twice a day. (Alcohol depletes vit B) You'll feel much better.
    I'd also take a vit C +E daily & a flax seed oil capsule twice daily.

    Mines too long a story, so to keep it short; I was a pisshead who got smashed at least twice a week. I'm a silly drunk on beer so bourbon was my drink of choice. My record binge was 32 hours.
    I'd go through stages where I'd drink every day & at other times I'd be content with a beer or wine with dinner.
    There were times when I'd 'get the taste' at the pub & end up hammered on the rent money or if I had to get up early for work. In my drunken state I'd think that everything would somehow magically be ok. It never was ok.
    I developed duodenal ulcers & that still didn't stop me from binging.
    Most of us who drink to excess are self medicating.
    In the end I sought help from a counselor, learnt to meditate & how to at least acknowledge my issues.

    When I finally learnt to drink in moderation, where I no longer had hangovers, no more wasted money & no more apologetic phone calls the next day, my past caught up with me. Long term medication has insulted my stomach to the point where even one bourbon makes me pay. A glass of stout or beer with food is about all I can drink. It sucks. (At least I'm under Dr's orders to take 2-3 pipes of cannabis at night for chronic, excruciating nerve pain - there's no negative side-effects & I sleep like a baby)

    Hope that you don't end up in the same boat Dave. Find out first if you're an alcoholic. If you are the only treatment is to stop drinking unfortunately. You need to see your Dr & ask for his advise (Just don't get sucked in to taking any pHarmaceuticals. Some of them are throwing crap like Lyrica* around like candy - * I was in hospital recently & they were giving this dangerous anti-epileptic to every other patient for all sorts of reasons. It'll ruin a liver quicker than grog ever will)

    If you're not an alcoholic (that'd make you a pisshead like me, lol), in your position I'd be aiming at learning how to drink in moderation. Start having grog free days. Drink a low alcohol brand (These days there's some really good ones. Nothing like that watery swill like the 2.2 that first came out years ago) Go to the pub every other day (You wont miss a thing, seriously) Plan to stay for just a few drinks. Don't get into shouts so you can drink at your own pace. Take up a hobby. Help out at your local junior footy club. Get a dog & take it for a walk after work. Fill your time with enjoyable activities & you wont think of the grog if occupied.

    Keep in mind Dave, your health is everything. You can do this. Good luck.
     
  14. Legion

    Legion Juniors

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    Man that sucks. I ended up with duodenal ulcers, had a spastic colon because I hadn't had a dump for over 10 days. It was so painful.
    Chinese medicine has used powdered dandelion root for over 3,000 years to treat liver disease, cancer, gallstones amongst other things. It builds the blood & immune system. Dandelions grow everywhere for free. Dig some up, dry then powder them & take a tsp twice a day for 10 days then cut back to one tsp daily for another 10 or until feeling better. I take this twice a year & haven't even had a cold since.

    What is it with turning 30yo? As a young bloke on building sites I used to laugh at the 'old farts' who couldn't handle their grog when they'd turn up hungover on Friday mornings. They'd just smile & say 'just wait young fella, you'll see when your time comes'. Yep, my time came. They were right.

    Good luck to you too.
     
  15. Manurewa_Marlins

    Manurewa_Marlins Bench

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    ^ great advice. Yeah mine's a duo as well. Honestly felt no pain, but the sight of liquid blood in my stool was enough to wake me the f**k up.

    Went back to the specialist yesterday, a lot of improvement, no more blood in my stool and I can start eating solid food again, all be it in moderation as I ease towards normality.
     
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  16. Legion

    Legion Juniors

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    This is why my mother, a nursing sister, taught us as kids to check our turds.

    My pain was mainly caused by severe constipation.

    You need to test different foods to see what, if anything, irritates your ulcers. Bland foods to begin. Believe it or not but chillis have a component (capsyn I think) that is beneficial for ulcers.
    Tomato based dishes was the only food that irritated mine. Spirits like bourbon was like adding fuel to a fire but could drink a few beers without a problem. Had to be a naturally brewed beer like Tooheys Red though (Gave up Coopers when the cretins went halal)

    This is a very good example of why we need to see a Dr as soon as we start noticing symptoms.
    Had I seen a Dr when I first experienced pain, it would've saved me a heap of suffering. Like many blokes, I ignored the symptoms for far too long.

    Glad you're on top of it & feeling better.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  17. Manurewa_Marlins

    Manurewa_Marlins Bench

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    Cheers mate, hanging in there. Definitely a wake up call.
     

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