Once Dead
Bench
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Yeah, that's right, the name's SERGEANT TIGER and i just kicked Impellitteri's @$$ and am using his LeagueUnlimited account.....yeah, that's right, i'm from the old school back when Leichhardt Oval ran in the opposite direction to what it does these days and back when the Magpies used to wear blue and white - WELL OK, maybe NOT - but beware, i will kick your @$$ if i want to use your internet account
But anyway, enough of the formalities, what i'm here to say, is that this forum seems to be overrun by a bunch of lily livered cry babies who can't handle a few embarrassing 50 point thrashings......where are your hearts SOLDIERS! What happened to getting off your lazy internet surfing and trash posting butts and doing something for your club! Seems like no one remembers the slogan - ask not what your club can do for you, but what you can do for your club! And at the freakin' moment this cry is ever
appropriate
Now, i see, as most of you punks will have also, that a battle is about to take place on the hallowed ground of Leichhardt Oval tomorrow evening at 1930......now, OUR TEAM MAY BE AS USELESS AS THOSE TERMITE INFESTED STANDS but that does not excuse the fans from doing nothing! And if we want to roll over the top of the Marlboro Storm and not have the Wests Tigers with welts on their @$$ses from another severe @$$ kickin we need to pull out all stops, SOLDIERS, that means, ALL STOPS
Ok, so over the past week, I - the suburban Tigers lunatic Sgt Tiger have been plotting the downfall of the Marlboro Storm - *sings* "FROM SOUTH OF THEEEEEE BORDEEEEEEEEEER, DOWN MEXIIIIIIIICO WAAAAAAAY".....and you'll be delighted to know - that our plan involves minimal effort / heart by the Wests Tigers first grade side
So, to cut to the chase and to mobilise the troops, here's the plan - and if you've got a problem with it you will get a nice wet sloppy kiss, not a Liverpool Kiss, from King Tigerman.....ARE WE CLEAR?
So here are the possibilities:
Plan 1: Prank call the Marlboro Storm CEO and pretend to be Steve Noyce and ask to "transfer" the game to Not So Olympic Park and attempt to dupe the Mexicans into believing that the game has actually been transferred, thus have the Wests Tigers winning by forfeit - which is better than nothing!
Plan 2: Get a bus driver who is a Wests Tigers fan to beat up the Storm's team bus driver and then drive them to Dubbo instead of Leichhardt Oval
Plan 3: Get hundreds of fans to picket the entrances to Leichhardt Oval - obviously after the Wests Tigers players have entered the ground!
Plan 4: Put laxatives into any food / drink consumed by opposition players both at the hotel they are staying at and their drink bottles they use during the actual game......there surely must be a rule against taking a crap on the field! And if there isn't well, they'll literally be crapping themselves when our boys are trying to score - and that can only be a good thing, unless someone steps in it
Plan 5: Use the Canberra Radiers Plan of eons ago.....get some of the ground staff to make sure the lock on the locker room door for the Storm jams so they are locked in and hopefully lose their edge!......if this is not feasible, i will personally NAIL the door shut
Plan 6: Tell the Storm players that the only functioning toilets are those behind the goalposts....the gases rising from the concrete troughs are akin to laughing/sleeping gas.....the players will collapse and be in a coma like state, either they will wake up really p*ssed off or p*ssed on, either way, it works out fine....this step, unlike the others, is perfectly legal - SO KEEP THIS IN MIND
Plan 7: Give Kingy a carton of New and then proceed to push him into the Visitors locker room telling him that the cheerleaders are in there.....locking the door behind him you will see on the closed circuit cameras that he shall proceed to strip - the win, is then assured
Plan 8: Have Cullus and Insane dress up as ASDA officers and ask for urine samples for members of the Storm team...especially McDougall and Howe.....in light of ASDA agents attaining such a scary demeanour and reputation and atheletes now freaking out and running away from them and then coming up with crappo excuses (ask Catherine Pileggi - she'll tell you all about it) at least their team will be down 2 players - so we won't get beat by 50........44 or 46 but not 50
Plan 9: Sit in the stands/on the hill and cheer the hell out of our team as they smash the absolute crap out of the Mexicans and beat THEM by 50! Remember the last time the team was in such turmoil, we beat Melbourne by 30! So get that up ya Mexicans, WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE MELBOURNE, WAKE UP, TIME TO GET YOUR COLLECTIVE @$$ KICKED!
P.S. King Tigerman is my son
SO SOLDIERS! LET ME HEAR YOU! WILL YOU SILENTLY SIT BACK OR LET MELBOURNE RIP THE TIGERS A NEW BUTT CRACK?
OVER AND OUT
This is my last transmission - if i don't survive tomorrow, know that the legacy of Sgt Tiger lives on
But anyway, enough of the formalities, what i'm here to say, is that this forum seems to be overrun by a bunch of lily livered cry babies who can't handle a few embarrassing 50 point thrashings......where are your hearts SOLDIERS! What happened to getting off your lazy internet surfing and trash posting butts and doing something for your club! Seems like no one remembers the slogan - ask not what your club can do for you, but what you can do for your club! And at the freakin' moment this cry is ever
appropriate
Now, i see, as most of you punks will have also, that a battle is about to take place on the hallowed ground of Leichhardt Oval tomorrow evening at 1930......now, OUR TEAM MAY BE AS USELESS AS THOSE TERMITE INFESTED STANDS but that does not excuse the fans from doing nothing! And if we want to roll over the top of the Marlboro Storm and not have the Wests Tigers with welts on their @$$ses from another severe @$$ kickin we need to pull out all stops, SOLDIERS, that means, ALL STOPS
Ok, so over the past week, I - the suburban Tigers lunatic Sgt Tiger have been plotting the downfall of the Marlboro Storm - *sings* "FROM SOUTH OF THEEEEEE BORDEEEEEEEEEER, DOWN MEXIIIIIIIICO WAAAAAAAY".....and you'll be delighted to know - that our plan involves minimal effort / heart by the Wests Tigers first grade side
So, to cut to the chase and to mobilise the troops, here's the plan - and if you've got a problem with it you will get a nice wet sloppy kiss, not a Liverpool Kiss, from King Tigerman.....ARE WE CLEAR?
So here are the possibilities:
Plan 1: Prank call the Marlboro Storm CEO and pretend to be Steve Noyce and ask to "transfer" the game to Not So Olympic Park and attempt to dupe the Mexicans into believing that the game has actually been transferred, thus have the Wests Tigers winning by forfeit - which is better than nothing!
Plan 2: Get a bus driver who is a Wests Tigers fan to beat up the Storm's team bus driver and then drive them to Dubbo instead of Leichhardt Oval
Plan 3: Get hundreds of fans to picket the entrances to Leichhardt Oval - obviously after the Wests Tigers players have entered the ground!
Plan 4: Put laxatives into any food / drink consumed by opposition players both at the hotel they are staying at and their drink bottles they use during the actual game......there surely must be a rule against taking a crap on the field! And if there isn't well, they'll literally be crapping themselves when our boys are trying to score - and that can only be a good thing, unless someone steps in it
Plan 5: Use the Canberra Radiers Plan of eons ago.....get some of the ground staff to make sure the lock on the locker room door for the Storm jams so they are locked in and hopefully lose their edge!......if this is not feasible, i will personally NAIL the door shut
Plan 6: Tell the Storm players that the only functioning toilets are those behind the goalposts....the gases rising from the concrete troughs are akin to laughing/sleeping gas.....the players will collapse and be in a coma like state, either they will wake up really p*ssed off or p*ssed on, either way, it works out fine....this step, unlike the others, is perfectly legal - SO KEEP THIS IN MIND
Plan 7: Give Kingy a carton of New and then proceed to push him into the Visitors locker room telling him that the cheerleaders are in there.....locking the door behind him you will see on the closed circuit cameras that he shall proceed to strip - the win, is then assured
Plan 8: Have Cullus and Insane dress up as ASDA officers and ask for urine samples for members of the Storm team...especially McDougall and Howe.....in light of ASDA agents attaining such a scary demeanour and reputation and atheletes now freaking out and running away from them and then coming up with crappo excuses (ask Catherine Pileggi - she'll tell you all about it) at least their team will be down 2 players - so we won't get beat by 50........44 or 46 but not 50
Plan 9: Sit in the stands/on the hill and cheer the hell out of our team as they smash the absolute crap out of the Mexicans and beat THEM by 50! Remember the last time the team was in such turmoil, we beat Melbourne by 30! So get that up ya Mexicans, WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE MELBOURNE, WAKE UP, TIME TO GET YOUR COLLECTIVE @$$ KICKED!
P.S. King Tigerman is my son
SO SOLDIERS! LET ME HEAR YOU! WILL YOU SILENTLY SIT BACK OR LET MELBOURNE RIP THE TIGERS A NEW BUTT CRACK?
OVER AND OUT
This is my last transmission - if i don't survive tomorrow, know that the legacy of Sgt Tiger lives on
