DAVE Simmons hasn't gripped a schooner since Schoolies.
He remembers the feeling - remembers flying along Cavill Ave in one of those Superman capes only booze can buy. Swearing loudly, leering wildly and offering to go any fella who owned a pair of fists.
"Yeah, that was seven years ago," the Cronulla fullback concedes.
"I never actually got into any fights up there. Never did anything with any girls, either. But my behaviour was loose, I was acting tough with a group around me . . . that's when I realised it all needed to end."
Of the 400 footballers signed to NRL contracts in 2009, only 5 per cent have sworn off the booze. Simmons is one of them.
A silent breed of renegades replacing VB with OJ and losing all "Mad" from their Monday. Oh, Mr Gallop how you must dream of NRL outfits like this one.
Gallery: A team of teetotallers
Gallery: Footy binge boys
Poll: Who would win a match between the two teams?
A team where Steve Price tosses coins, Israel Folau scores tries and Hazem El Masri kicks goals. Where Ben Hannant, Brent Kite and Lopini Paea provide muscle. Preston Campbell and Matty Bowen the sizzle. Throw Wayne Bennett in as coach.
"It's a fair team, yeah," says Warriors skipper Price, who admits to drinking beer once or twice a year.
"But just because there's some good players on that list it doesn't mean I support blanket booze bans.
"I don't drink or smoke, but that doesn't make me a genius. A guy like Jason Smith did and look how good he was. Terry Lamb would have a beer the night before games too."
Indeed, not all players on
The Daily Telegraph's list have sworn off the drink completely. One club suit was wary of nominating players for our list because: "I don't want the world coming down on them if they decide to have a beer later in the year".
Most are like Simmons. A Cronulla cleanskin who, except for the two champagnes he sipped during his 2005 wedding, hasn't touched a drop since the Gold Coast.
"For me it's about being a Christian," says the flyer who relied on the support of fellow God Squad member Jason Stevens when he came into grade at 19.
"I didn't think it was right to talk up my faith one day and get drunk the next. I was being a hypocrite."
It's the same deal for the Paea boys and Kite, the later sober for seven years as part of his commitment to Christ. Melbourne rookie Willie Isa is a devout Catholic who hasn't touched alcohol because "it just wouldn't feel right".
Others are motivated more by health than hallelujahs. Like Price. Or Wests Tigers fullback Blake Lazarus, whose attitudes to nutrition, recovery and sobriety revive memories of Balmain teetotaller Wayne Pearce.
"Yeah, for me it's simple. I've never touched a drink in my life and I won't until the day I die."
C'mon, Blake never? You're a rookie trying to find his way in a boozy league culture. Trying to find your feet at 20. Sidelined indefinitely, after suffering your second knee reconstruction in as many years. If anyone needs a drink, surely it's you?
"Not at all. I'm sweet. I mean, how hard is it to say no?" he says.
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