Wendy Harmers Little Golden Book of Niggles

[gong_eagle]

9/04/2008 - By Wendy Harmer - Eagles Angel

http://www.manlyseaeagles.com.au/news.asp

I note that Rusty Crowe reads from the fabled, leather-bound Rabbitohs’ “Big Book of Feuds” before every match - apparently as a way to fire his team into action on the field.

The book, inspired by “The Gladiator” himself, chronicles all the hatreds South Sydney have nursed over the past 100 years. One extract reads: "There are teams we hate and there are teams we don’t like very much.” As any Manly supporter knows, the Sea Eagles fall into the former category. Yep, they hate us.

We don’t think like that here on the Northern Beaches. We seem to be enjoying the laid-back life by the sea too much to work up passionate hatreds and are just grateful anyone braves the traffic on the Spit Bridge to come to broken-down old Brookie.

I just can’t imagine Des “Sorry” Hasler commissioning such a volume , so, I’ve put one together for him . I’m calling it the Sea Eagles “Little Golden Book of Niggles.”

(By the way, Sharon from the complaints department at Warringah Mall has volunteered to give this a reading before kick-off, if anyone’s interested.)

Warriors: It’s hard to say their names – too many vowels. Their tatts look better than anyone else’s and they know it.

Raiders: Canberra's too cold. Too near too many politicians. Their jerseys are too green and sometimes they blend into the grass and you can’t see them properly.

Titans: They’ve got Surfers Paradise, Movie World, Sea World, Dream World and Wet ’n’ Wild AND they want a footy team! Settle down! Also, too tan. (What is a ‘titan’ anyway?)

Melbourne: Their jumpers are a nasty shade of purple and it hurts your eyes to look at them. Their mascot is a weird dude with a lightning bolt. What’s THAT about?

Cowboys: Far North Queensland is too far north. It’s too hot. There’s no surf. You can’t have a androtop inside the ground. It sucks.

Knights: “Mad Dog” MacDougall left some of his sprigs in Geoff Toovey’s forehead after the 1997 Grand Final. Someone come and get them, you clowns!

Bulldogs: You can’t park near the ground. I know someone who got a ticket there once. Pie stand is too far away from seats. Grrr!

Wests Tigers: They’ve got three grounds. Greedy or confused? You tell me.

St George: Someone’s put “Kogarah Oval” in a club song to the tune of John Denver’s “Take Me Home Country Road” – they must be stopped.

Roosters: Too much hair product. Too much attention to personal grooming for anyone’s liking.

Broncos: Do you know anyone in the entire Southern Hemisphere who calls their horse a ‘bronco’

Thought not.

Cronulla: Their club song is to the tune of “Roll Out the Barrel” and has got honky tonk piano in it. Enough said!

Eels: They have comp’s most boring sponsors – Pirtek. They make ‘fluid transfer solutions’ ie: rubber hoses. Check out their catalogue. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Panthers: Actually we quite like the boys from Penrith. At Panther’s World of Entertainment they serve a good steak and your feet hardly stick to the carpet. (I once won $50 on the pokies there.)

Rabbitohs: They read mean things out of secret books and hurt everyone’s feelings. (Nice jerseys, but.)

So there you go – that should get the Sea Eagles in the mood to bang a few heads together today!

Go the Mighty Sea Eagles!!

 

[zombie jesus]

That was pretty lame.

 

[t-ba]

Seconded on the lame.

Panthers: Actually we quite like the boys from Penrith. At Panther’s World of Entertainment they serve a good steak and your feet hardly stick to the carpet. (I once won $50 on the pokies there.)

That does wonders for the "Manly fans are just feral bogan westies who happen to live near nice beaches" argument...

 

[Dutchy]

That was sh*t. Keep that woman in the kitchen!

 

[EelGirl]

I like it, but what about manly?