Round 3 (2007) Panthers v Eels

[Willow]

Round 3 (2007)
Penrith Panthers v Parramatta Eels

Game Thread:
Please note - This is a game thread only, therefore only game posts can be made here (Teams, Articles).
Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
Only original essays, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.
Rules: http://f7s.leagueunlimited.com/rules.asp
Home team allowed one extra reserve player

FULL TIME: Wednesday 16 May 2007 at 9pm (Syd time)

REFEREE: Master Vippo
Venue: Panthers Stadium

**The Referee Blows Game On!**

 

[Big Mick]

Panthers team to face the Eels:

1. Big Mick
2. Ozzie
3. Leaguenut
4. Madunit
5. [Furrycat]

6. Waken
7. Glockers
8. Big Pete

 

[LeagueNut]

And now for something completely different ...

LeagueNut (Panthers)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Front Row Forums meet The Real World

Scene One: A bank has been robbed. The crooks made a clean getaway, and there were no injuries to bank workers or customers. The Police are interviewing the witnesses.

“Thank you for your patience Sir. Can I please take down your name?”

“Razor”

“Pardon?”

“Razor”

“Right-o then. Can you describe the offender for me Sir?”

“He was about six feet tall, solid build, red hair and ...”

“Red hair Sir? We understand he had a shaved head”

“I never said he had red hair on his head”

“But you said he had red hair?”

“Yes, but what I meant was that if he did have hair then it would most likely be red. It looked like he had red hair on his legs too”

“But he was wearing black jeans – how did you see his legs?”

“Well I didn’t see them today, but I know they’ve got red hair on them”

“How do you know that Sir?”

“Well I’ve never seen his legs before, but I know I’ve seen someone with red hair on their legs before, and he looked a little bit like him, so I’m pretty sure that they’d have the same legs”

*stunned silence*

“Sir, have you been drinking today?”

“Yes”

“And what have you had to drink?”

“Nothing”

“BUT YOU JUST SAID ...”

“During the day my mouth creates saliva, and I swallow it. That’s a form of liquid going down my throat, so I class that as drinking”

Shortly afterwards, Razor was admitted to hospital with three broken ribs.

Scene Two: Mount Smart Stadium. A fan is setting up a stand next to the Vodafone Tribe tent. He is approached by a big security guard.

“Oi! What are you doing?”

“I’m setting up a stand to sign up new members for my club”

“You can’t do that here! What are you signing up for?”

“The Jerome Ropati Haters Society”

“What??”

“We’re the real deal bro. Me and my fellow Haters have decided to band together in our hatred of Jerome Ropati. He’s gonna get OWN3D!!”

“Errmm ...”

“Nah bro, it’ll be cool. We won’t cause any trouble – expect when he runs out onto the field. Then we’ll all chase him with rusty chainsaws and broken bottles, attack his knees and rip off his arms, then convert his carcass right between the sticks, then take him right to the top of the Western Grandstand and catapult him all the way down to Wellington so I can go home and kick his arse some more. The giant boil on my arse could do a better job at five-eighth than that prick Ropati!”

“Mate, you’re f**ked in the head”

“Hey, do you know if SuperMod is anywhere around here? I wouldn’t mind meeting him”

“Who the f**k are you talking about??”

“You know, SuperMod. He hangs around with Ozbash”

The security guard called in reinforcements, and the nuisance from Wellington is currently serving time in a padded cell.

Scene Three: The Footy Show. Paul “Fatty” Vautin is about to play another hilarious round of “Crack A Fatty”.

“Okay, let’s welcome our contestant for this week ... Tim!”

Three people clap. Tim enters the stage.

“Hi Tim, how are you champ?”

“Call me Dodger”

“What?”

“Nah, call me Timmah”

“You’re going good champ. Who’s your team?”

“I’m Just Another Dogs Supporter” *Tim laughs hysterically*

“Okay Tim, are you ready to play?”

“How come The Footy Show is such crap now?”

“Ohh, steady on champ. Do you want to play or not?”

“FFS mate, IMO you’ve lost the plot. Bring back Sterlo and talk about footy FFS”

“What does ffs mean? You got something stuck in your teeth?”

*Tim shakes a green fist at Vautin*

“Gee, this is great television tonight. C’mon mate, you ready?”

“Nah, can’t be farked IMO. I’ve gotta go buy tickets for the next thirty eight rounds of NRL matches”

“Ah well, f**k you then. Matty?”

“Don’t worry Fat, I’ll call our next contestant. Remember folks, if this is your phone that rings, you’ve got to answer with the words 'I wanna crack a fat' ”

*ring ring*

The phone is answered, but there is silence on the other end.

“Well say something Matt!”

“OK Fat ... hello? Is someone there??”

.

.

.

.

.

“FATTY IS A HOMO;() ”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

725 words between the squiggly lines.

 

[madunit]

madunit for the Panthers.

Code of Conduct

Over the last several seasons, the National Rugby League has been investing a lot of time, money, effort and resources into educating its players on professional behaviour, on and off the field.

This has had a great effect, however there are still many deplorable off field incidents occurring. Because of this, the following code of conduct has been constructed and distributed to ALL players, with which they must abide by at ALL times.

The NRL believes the following code will ensure better behaviour by all its players and officials in all aspects of life, thus improving our games image.

Regards,
NRL Head Typist for David Gallop’s Secretary.

NRL CODE OF CONDUCT

1.1 – If you are married, you are not permitted under any circumstance to involve yourself in any sexually promiscuous behaviour.

1.2 – This includes any sexually related conduct of any manner, whether public or private, whether consensual or not. If you are married, you must only participate in sexual activity with the person you are married to. If you wish to participate in such activities you must annul your marriage so as to conform with Rule 1.3

1.3 – If you are not in a relationship (this means that you are not married or engaged to be married), you are hereby allowed to participate in sexual behaviour with anyone of your choice, so long as they;
1.3.a. Give consent before any sexually related action takes place
1.3.b. Sign a waiver stating that under no circumstances, are they allowed to claim they were raped. This document has to be signed by the CEO of said club which player represents, at time of consent given.
1.3.c. Are willing to admit they were fully satisfied with their product, and fill out a short survey rating their experience (purely for marketing purposes, so that we can better improve the NRL product).

2.1 – If attending an establishment that supplies and provides alcohol for on-site consumption, you are hereby denied from the following;
2.1.a. Removing any garments covering your person.
2.1.b. Punching, biting, spitting, gouging, pushing, shouting, yelling, screaming, dancing, bragging, slapping, groping or touching anyone at all without previous consent in the form of the waiver described in Rule 1.3.b.
2.1.c. Flirting – unless you conform with Rule 1.3. and it’s Sub-Rules.
2.1.d. Passing out or expelling fluids in an unbecoming manner, whilst in view of the general public.
2.1.e. Be escorted out of said establishment by security for reasons they see fit in regards to your behaviour.

3.1 If you are a referee or an on field official of any stature, you are not permitted to participate in any form of fun in public or in private. We have worked very hard for many years to promote an image for all our on field officials as unpopular nerds. Any reports of you engaging in any promiscuous behaviour will be dealt with via immediate disciplinary action, which could see any offender being made to referee club Rugby Union games.

3.2 As a referee, you must hereby accept all verbal abuse hurled at you whether it be during a game or outside of the game, as you are unpopular nerds.

4.1 If you are approached by a reporter, you MUST always use the following answers to these (or similar) questions:

4.1.a. Q: Do you think you can win the Premiership?
A: We’re just taking it one game at a time.

4.1.b. Q: How is your injury coming along?
A: It&#8217;s coming along really well; I hope to be back for <very important game here>

4.1.c. Q: How do you feel about playing against <player you really hate>?
A: I have a lot of respect for <hated player>, he&#8217;s one of the toughest competitors out there and he always brings out the best in me.

4.1.d. Q: How does it feel to be awarded the <prestigious medal>?
A: This is really great; I never thought I&#8217;d ever win this. But I couldn&#8217;t have achieved it without my team mates, my family, the fans and <sponsor>. Thanks to all of you and to <sponsor>.

4.1.e. Q: Did you <insert criminal charge>?
A: No. I didn&#8217;t, I will not take any more questions on this matter, as it is being handled by the police.

As more behavioural misdemeanours arise, we shall continue to amend the rules here within.

Your assistance in abiding by this code of conduct will assist us in causing less negative headlines than the other Football codes.

Regards,
David Gallop&#8217;s Head Typewriter.

750 words, including title

 

[Vaealikis Girl]

The Eels take the field:

2. Bubbles
6. Natalie's Daddy
9. Brycey
10. Bartman
11. Goleel

Reserves:
5. MarkintheStands
22. Prince Charles

 

[The Engineers Room]

Natalie's Daddy (6) for the Eels

***********
Encouraging Expansive Play or Punishing Boringness

Whilst watching the first nine rounds of NRL football many would have noticed the tendency for teams to use multiple dummy half runner plays in each attacking set. This trend is a continuation of tactics that have been operating for quite a few years now. The play is designed to give forwards a rest and maximise the amount of territory gained in that play. Some teams have even based there attack at certain times around consecutive plays where they use these plays to get the opposition forwards on their heels.

There is no doubt that if executed at the right time and employed correctly, this tactic can be damaging to defences and get the team out of their own end quite quickly. The issue that some people have raised is whether this is the sort of Rugby League we want to see played. There was an article from Big League in 2006, where veteran coach and commentator Warren Ryan identified this as an issue. This indicated that this was not only discussed by the fans that had become annoyed of the lack of flair in attack but also by experts like Warren Ryan, a tactical coach that was a pioneer of some of the most effective tactics in the modern game. In another article from the Sydney Morning Herald on November 18, 2006; it states that, &#8220;Some statistics from NRL games last season show as much as 90 per cent of each ruck is handled by the dummy-half running into the defense for a yardage play, or it goes one pass wide of the ruck.&#8221;

Once the issue was identified, the mind turns to why it has occurred and ultimately what can be done about it. The dummy half run has existed since the games inception and no one would argue that it has its place in the tradition of the game. However, the amount of times a player gets into dummy half with his only intention to run seems to happen way too often. The dummy half run has increased as the defences have been given more rights to rush forward at attacking teams. The 2001 season saw the tactic of using forwards fall on there knees and create quick play the balls for their dummy half runners. After the 2001 season, the problem was identified and the dominant tackle rule was created and subsequent rule changes have given the defensive teams more support to stem attacking plays. This has meant that teams must maximize the distance gained every play. The dummy half run started to become a way to do this. In 2004 the Bulldogs with their superior size were pounding the other teams. Then they encountered the Cowboys. The Cowboys employed the dummy half run as an attacking weapon. The bigger less mobile Bulldogs forwards were turned inside out and the Rugby League world took notice.

The question for the rule makers now seems to be, &#8220;How do we encourage more expansive Rugby League?&#8221; or maybe &#8220;How do we punish dummy half runners?&#8221;

There are quite a few suggestions on the punishment side of the fence. They include introducing a dominant tackle for dummy half runner tackled; dummy half tackle loses a tackle or loses possession; the dummy half tackled after the play the ball started outside their own twenty metre line results in loss of possession, and the markers are allowed to split and stand side by side (with the markers to remain stationary until the ball is passed by the dummy half or the dummy half runs).

On the encouragement side of the discussion there has only been one suggestion, changing the game to eleven a side so that there is more room on the field. This came from Warren Ryan and he contended that it may be used in a trial to ascertain the dynamics of the proposal.

In summing up the proposals, the administration needs to look at the bigger picture. Some recent rule changes have led the game of Rugby League down this path and a calm and patient review is needed to ascertain the effect of any rule change on the dynamics of the game. Some of these options are more revolutionary than others and therefore it will be necessary to determine what types and what occurrence of dummy half running is desired. The final point that needs to be considered is the effect on punishing an already limited attack from another option.

 

[Bubbles]

Bubbles on for the Eels

__________________________________________________________________

The Headline You Never Got to See

I would like to tell you a story, if I may; a true tale of intrigue, deceit, love and desire, make of it what you will.

On April 10 of this year, the Rugby League community was saddened, though not surprised, to hear of the retirement of one of the superstars of the game, in Andrew Johns. Like him, love him, loathe him, the general consensus is that he was one of, if not the, greatest players to strap on the boots and take to the footy field. The reason behind his forced retirement was cited as being an injury to his neck sustained during a Knight’s training session the previous week. Not so. I am here to set the record straight, and to give you the inside scoop as to the real reason behind his retirement.

This story takes place exactly a week previously. It was Tuesday 3 April; the place, Newcastle Panthers Club (the fact that anything momentous could happen here is intriguing enough, isn’t it?)! The band, Wolfmother, were taking to the stage to deliver their brand of revamped seventies rock and an interesting quartet of fans were there to partake in the revelries. These included myself and my man, together with my ex-husband and his brand new girlfriend (didn’t I tell you, intrigue, love and desire – you have to admit, this story really does have it all!).

Before Wolfmother were due to take to the stage, the man and I went looking for the amenities, having already indulged in a number of quiet ales to set the mood for the evening. Now, if you would indulge me for just a moment, it’s necessary for me to fill you in with some background information before we continue with our tale. Tragically, I was born into this world without, or at least with very little of an asset known as coordination. At the best of times, under the most optimum of conditions, I manage to get my feet tangled, consequently spending a great deal of time bumping into things. In fact, after a night on the drink, I can spend up to an hour the next day playing the ever-entertaining game of 'Name that Bruise', often relying on imagination in the absence of actual memory to fill in the blanks.

So, here we are back at the Wolfmother gig and we are on our search for the bathroom, when the man suddenly exclaims, “Hey, there’s Kurt Gidley”. I immediately turn my head to where he is pointing and predictably, my tenuous equilibrium was thrown askew and I did a massive stumble to my right; a stumble that was pulled up short when I knocked heavily into another person. Now, a further thing you need to know is that I was endowed with a rather large set of breasts and as is often the case when I hit the town (working on the motto, ‘if you’ve got ‘em, flaunt ‘em), they were pushed up and out; all cleavage. The way I fell into this other person, well, it was a boobs-n-all hit and he didn’t stand a chance. As I turned in the process of stammering out an apology, I looked up and…”f**k, you’re Andrew Johns”! In his haste to get a good look at exactly what had just run into him, Joey spun his head around (hello, whiplash anyone?), mouth agape, while the man laughed and ‘high-fived’ him, exclaiming with a wink, “They’re good, aren’t they?”

And so, the evening continued and of course the story evolved from a simple hit and run (or tit and run!), to me having been felt-up by Joey, and fun was had by all.

The next day at work, I was entertaining the girls with my story, giving them all a good belly laugh, when I was heard to say, “Imagine if he got injured, what the headlines would be – ‘Johns Gone for Season, Taken out by Random Boobs!’ (Hello, hex anyone?).

So there you have it, believe what you will about this so-called training injury, but whether it was a case of whiplash in the act of copping a good eye-full, or the mother of a all hex’s, I’m here to claim responsibility for taking the great Andrew Johns out of the game (keep it under hat though, would you, as I reside in the Newcastle area and have no wish to enter the witness-protection program as Public Enemy #1!).

___________________________________________________________

Word Count: 748

 

[bartman]

Bartman fronts the judiciary to explain himself for the Eels...

- - - - -

From States to Nations?

Whether representing a suburb, town, area, city, state or a country, all rugby league clashes have some element of “representation” at stake every time that players take the field. The representative nature of club football is evident through the passion we feel for our favourite clubs on a weekly basis when “two tribes go to war” in regular competition, and through the highs and lows that finals football bring to the lives of fans, players and coaches in September and October each year.

While not taking away anything from these club experiences that for most of us remain our first and most important link with the game, I firmly believe that formal representative football should be – and can be – the pinnacle of experience for rugby league fans, players, and everyone else involved in the sport. A game of rep footy should be “the best versus the best” by definition - whether it takes the form of the annual State of Origin clashes, one off Test matches, the semi-regular Tri-Nations series, or indeed the occasional Rugby League World Cup.

For a number of reasons in recent times our international game seems to lag behind State of Origin in prestige, intensity, and crowd support. But in my book, the bigger the areas being represented by teams in a match, surely the more important the match should be? With the first rugby league World Cup for eight years due to be played in Australia in 2008, it is vital that energy, planning and co-operation go into making the international game the showpiece that firmly propels our sport into its second century, and the force for ensuring our code maintains or even enhances its current standing.

So while we’re all watching the game next week, why not cast a thought as to what elements of Origin have made it great over the years, and how those elements might be made to benefit our international game and next year’s World Cup? Or worse, just imagine what might become of next year’s World Cup if we don’t apply some of the lessons we have learned from Origin over the years... Here are just a few handy hints for whoever is in charge of the biggest international rugby league event of the last eight years:

* Advertising and Marketing: Origin has built a reputation as a must-see part of the season for committed and casual rugby league fans alike. But it hasn’t always been that way – NSW v Queensland clashes only became based on professional origin as a result of lopsided and poorly supported representative games during the 1970s, when many Queenslanders were plying their trade in the Sydney competition. “Mate versus mate, state versus state” turned the contest into something that people wanted to see, and there’s no reason why more of these rivalries can’t be built around the international clashes – with full availability of players and devoted coaching and training.

* Passion and Pride: The reputation of Origin has meant that players actively seek out the opportunity to play in these games, and many would consider state representation as the most intense level of play in our sport. The players want to be part of these teams and compete in these games, so much so that for some it guides their international eligibility – rather than the other way around. There is no equivalent regional series like Origin factored into the British domestic season, nor in the New Zealand domestic season, and this could be what has put the Australian side at an advantage over the past twenty or so years of test matches between the three countries.

* Even, Meaningful Contests: Many people see the international game as lopsided apart from the big three nations, and even then some people feel those tests and tri-nation match-ups have been too predictable. For the further development of the game internationally we need to somehow investigate giving players who are not from NSW or Queensland the opportunity to experience something similar to Origin, just as smaller countries (like those of the Pacific Island nations) need to be supported to hold more regular fixtures outside of the occasional World Cup qualifying.

The issue of organising international rugby league is obviously a lot more complex than 750 words can convey. But is there a chance that our international game can once again reign supreme, or at least that the 2008 World Cup might be a step forward toward that worthwhile goal?

- - - - -

749 words between the lines

 

[ozzie]

Ozzie runs out for the PANTHERS still trying to keep his pants up
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SAD YEAR FOR THE ROSES AND ROOSTERS

Two years ago my wife was diagnosed with a tumor and sadly she left me early this year.

She was a fanatical Easts supporter and we used to talk about how the team was going and how we could improve. Every morning was greeted by her with a smile as it was another day she lived. Well come February this year there was no more waking again. The night before, we had talked about the past and how Easts were going to improve this year. She was looking forward to the 1000th win by the club.

I sometimes wondered what she used to see in me and Easts and she told me that it was at a game at North Sydney that she realised I was the man for her. She had been a bulldog fan but she loved coming out to watch Easts play the game and celebrating our wins together. Her love for the game grew and even last year she was still knitting jumpers and scarves for the boys and grandchildren. I honestly think I can&#8217;t open a door without something red, white and blue falling out of the cupboard.

Anzac Day this year, a day of remembrance and the club were stuck on 999 wins. At that stage I had considered changing the lounge room back into just that. I had really lost all enthusiasm in life and the team. As I started down the jumpers and memorabilia off the wall a voice yelled at me &#8220;Mum wouldn&#8217;t want that&#8221;.

There was my oldest son back from overseas and who I hadn&#8217;t seen for 6 months. He hadn't been able to get back in time for the funeral &#8220;Dad gets your gear we&#8217;re going down to the pub to watch the game&#8221;.

Down there were the other three sons and we started to celebrate my wife and my children&#8217;s mothers&#8217; life. Needles to say it was a good night and I started to regain my enthusiasm for football again, especially after the 1000th win.

It is very hard to walk away from a game which has been a part of your life from when you were in primary school &#8211; nearly 50 years ago.

It&#8217;s now good to look back at the past and remember the good and the bad. I&#8217;ve seen the highs and lows of being an Easts supporter since 1965. The bad, no doubt, would have to be the year of 1966 when the team couldn&#8217;t scratch a win together. Even St Mary&#8217;s Primary Girl School would have beaten us that year.

Of cause the highs are easy to remember, the semi finals under Jack Gibson in the late 60&#8217;s and the grand finals in 1974, 1975 and 1980. At that stage I was in the Navy and it wasn&#8217;t until nearly five years later that I managed to see the two games of 1974 and 1975. 2000's were great.

My wife and myself loved going to watch the brilliance of Fairfax, the silky hands of Brass and the craft and guile of Arthur Beetson, who in my opinion, was the most skillful forward who graced a football field. Certainly there have been tougher, but for sheer skill he had it all.

The team of 1975 would have to be the best team I have ever seen, but I&#8217;m biased.

In May 74 I proposed to my wife at a football match at the Sydney Sports Ground on the hill. It seems like yesterday
Sigh, the years roll on and one thing that never stopped was our combined love for the team and each other. Five children can bear testimony to that.

As she was weaker last year she would sit in her recliner and watch the game, we couldn&#8217;t miss a game. The 1000th win wasn&#8217;t all that happy to me but as I passed her recliner and gave it a rock, I swear I could hear her say &#8211; &#8220;I told you it would be worth the wait&#8221;.

Being a true supporter of a team is like life itself, it has its high and lows, and I now know that I will remain a, red white and blue supporter. Our turn will come again and when it does I&#8217;ll give the recliner a good rock. Our turn will come again and when it does I&#8217;ll give the recliner a good rock.

Easts forever. I think the roses will be good this year after all.

 

[[furrycat]]

Furrycat for the Panthers :crazy:



A Cat walks into a bar...
So anyways, a furrycat walks into a bar with a duck under his arm, a Rabbi on one side, and Willie Mason on the other. The furrycat walks up to the barman and says in his most politest voice,

&#8220;Kindest sir, my name is furry, and I am a magical cat that was put on this Earth to bring good things to ugly people. I&#8217;d like a glass of your finest whiskey thanks. I don&#8217;t have any money to pay you with thou, sir, so you have a choice between this diseased duck under my arm, this Rabbi that has 45 seconds to live as he swallowed a bomb, or a perfectly fit Willie Mason. You may use one of these figures as an advertising spruiker to. You must choose wisely. Which form of payment would you like?&#8221; The barman stood completely still, pondering who he should choose. The barman was also pretty amazed at the fact that there was a talking cat in his bar.



The furrycat could see the barman&#8217;s confusion, and decided to assist him in making a decision

&#8220;Kindest sir, if you grab my hind legs and stare into my magic orifice, you will see the aftermath of each possible decision&#8221;. The cat did not know if the man was just eager to get this over with, or if he had a strange fetish, but he grabbed the cat&#8217;s legs without hesitation and started intently into the magic orifice. After some brief flatulence, the barman began to see the future...

Choice #1- The Diseased Duck

&#8220;Quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack... Quack?&#8221; (What did you expect? Ducks cannot talk...)

&#8220;Oh look Cedric&#8221; said a man passing by to his lady friend, &#8220;That duck appears to be having convulsions in the restaurant and is biting everyone&#8221;. Cedric furrowed her brow and replied,

&#8220;Oh dear Cecil, it is throwing its faeces at people! I don&#8217;t think we should go there...&#8221; Cecil agreed, and they both left the vicinity of the premises.



&#8220;Kindest sir, tickle my left foot and you will move into the next vision&#8221; proclaimed the cat. Again, without hesitation, the barman began to tickle the cat&#8217;s foot...



Choice #2- The Rabbi with 45 seconds to live

&#8220;Come one! Come all! Come to the greatest bar in this side of Sydney! Buy a beer within the next *Rabbi checks his watch* 12 seconds and I&#8217;ll give you a free circumcision! Come one Com... * Rabbi explodes*.

&#8220;Oh look Cedric&#8221; said a man sitting at a table with his lady friend, &#8220;There are curly sideburns and a black hat in my drink!&#8221; Cedric furrowed her brow and replied,

&#8220;Oh dear Cecil, that looks like a foreskin in your hair! I don&#8217;t think we stay here...&#8221; Cecil agreed, and they both left the vicinity of the premises.

Choice #3- A perfectly fit Willie Mason

&#8220;What is this!? f**k off! Come in now and I&#8217;ll teach you how to jump a cab fee! Have a drink with me and I&#8217;ll show you how to embarrass yourself, your friends, family and your country. But it&#8217;s okay! I&#8217;ll teach you how to blame it on ADHD! I bought it from Kmart!&#8221;

&#8220;Oh look Cedric&#8221; said a man passing by with his lady friend, &#8220;This establishment appears to offer opportunities for the mentally disabled and disadvantaged!&#8221; Cedric laughed in excitement and replies,

&#8220;Oh dear Cecil, it would be wrong of us not to support such a cause, and that man needs all the help he can get. Lets&#8217; go inside&#8221;. Cecil agreed, and they both entered the premises.



&#8220;Kindest sir, have you chosen your form of payment? Please be prompt as my throat is parched and my magic orifice feels rather sore&#8221; asked the cat.

&#8220;Well the rabbi sounds tempting, but I just can&#8217;t go past an animal that throws poo at people&#8221;. Replied the barman. The cat stood in awe of the decision and was struggling to comprehend it,

&#8220;Kindest sir, are you sure that is a wise choice? Wouldn&#8217;t Mr. Mason be a good choice to attract business?&#8221; asked the cat.

The barman laughed as he poured the cats drink,

&#8220;You&#8217;re a very naive young cat. Would you want to have a complete tosser as an ambassador for your establishment? What idiot would have him as a representative?&#8221;

The cat took his drink and walked away with his Rabbi and Willie Mason. He knew he got the raw end of the deal.



749 words.

 

[Goleel]

Gol steps out of a termite infested grandstand to deliver this for the Eels

---

Giving Back

With the many problems rugby league has had over the past decade, from Super League to South Sydney&#8217;s dismissal, it is easy to see why one of the core aspects of our sport has been overlooked for so long; the stadiums. While our game grows in television audiences, live attendances and makes more and more money every year, the grounds we visit to support our teams and our games are rapidly becoming obsolete.

While some clubs have made concerted efforts to upgrade their facilities over the years, such as Parramatta and the Dragons, and others are handcuffed by cash or council issues (Wests Tigers), in the big picture, the NRL may have to start focusing on grounds and stadium upgrades. If something is not done soon, many teams will be forced to turn fans away, or worse, move to the soulless, cavernous Telstra Stadium, where 25,000 fans are a mere drop in its vast ocean of seating.

The stadium issue hasn't even been on the NRL's radar in recent times; it has been up to clubs themselves to secure the funds and approvals to upgrade their grounds. I believe that has to change, although to do so would require a huge injection of cash the NRL simply hasn't got right now, as David Gallop has made his first priority with regards to funding increasing the NRL grant to clubs to a level where it completely covers player payments. An extra few million to rebuild some grandstands and put in some scoreboards isn't on the cards for the near future.

So how can the NRL and clubs get this money? It has been mentioned before, but some clubs could get away with selling the team to the public, ala the Green Bay Packers, who sold shares in the team several times in their history, most recently in 1998, to raise funds for paying team debts and building then upgrading their stadium, Lambeau Field. Ownership of the team provides few benefits; no dividends are paid, no preference or discount in seating at games is provided and shares never increase in value, as all profit is put back into the club or donated to charity. All the shareholders get is voting rights for the clubs board of directors and the fact that they own a part of their team, which to many diehard fans, is worth more than any voting rights.

While I cannot see Melbourne getting away with selling the club to the public, Newcastle, Wests Tigers and other traditional clubs not tied to private ownership could raise significant funds through the public sale of their team. The Wests Tigers are a particularly good example, many of the clubs devoted fan base would buy shares in the club for a guarantee that the money would be used to rebuild their suburban grounds and move them from Telstra Stadium.

But would enough fans jump on board for the move to be worthwhile? Nobody can be sure, and no doubt enough study would be done into the ramifications and plausibility of such a radical move before it was even put to the public.

Rugby league seems happy with its current situation regarding club grounds, but as a whole, we shouldn&#8217;t be. We should look at Brookvale Oval and see a ground with tremendous parking troubles, and in desperate need of more grandstand seating and a general facelift of all facilities. We should see tens of thousands of empty seats each weekend at Telstra Stadium when the Wests Tigers and South Sydney play their home games there, and wonder why the NRL cannot step in and give these teams their suburban grounds back, by way of bringing them up to modern standards. As it is, Wests and Souths happily play in a quarter filled stadium most weekends, content to make money at the expense of having a home fortress, and at the expense of their long time fans, who made their old homes such entertaining places to watch football.

The fans are the heart and soul of rugby league, they make the game with their passion and support. Why not let them show this by taking some NRL clubs public? It&#8217;s surely worth at least looking in to for some NRL clubs that desperately need a short-term injection of funds. Otherwise it may be twenty years before South Sydney and the Wests Tigers can save enough money to rebuild their spiritual homes, and by then, there may not be much left to rebuild.

---

750 Between the lines.

 

[Big Mick]

Panthers Sub - waken in for big mick

 

[The Piper]

Waken on for Penrith
----------------------------------

The Panther Fans’ Timeline 2007

Not making the finals last season, we have had a long off season to wait for the side to get back on the park and reverse their previous season form. We had a new coach to look forward to, although not too many new signings. The team had lost some significant signings, most notably the five-eighth position. This question rattled around in the fans’ minds from September to February, no doubt in the back of the new coach’s mind, too. Who was the new number six going to be for the Panthers? I usually sit on the fence and pick an 8th finishing spot for my side before the season begins. Some tipping higher and more people tipping much lower, but every Panthers fan was ready for 2007 to begin.

After two trial games, Penrith hadn’t won either of the clashes, losing to Newcastle in a raining Darwin 30-18, and then the new Titans team 28-6.But these games were trials, surely they mean close to nothing…?

Round 1 was finally here after what seems the longest wait in a rugby league fans’ year. For the Panthers fan, it was an anticlimax if ever there was one. Not know what to expect from the start of the season, especially kicking off against Cronulla at Shark Park on a Saturday night, us fans thought at least we were a solid enough side to put a point on the board. It was not to be. Done 18-0 in a display which pleased some fans with their defense, it upset many with their attacking options. Immediately following this game, Penrith supporters wondered would we score a point this season.

‘Blowout’ was all the Panther fans were thinking, coming up against the tough Bulldogs outfit and they were right, with only a different outcome. Only bringing in Mick Jennings to replace Youngquest, the same side that couldn’t make it over the try line last week smashed the Dogs 40-10. Centre Michael Gordon looked like the next super-boot with eight from eight conversions and Jennings got himself a four pointer on debut. What a turn around in one week. For the fans, this is what we new we could expect from them.

Did the fans expect this in Round 3 though? For the eighty minutes we were in the hunt with the reigning premiers. With one of the most exciting finishes we will see this year I’m sure, the Panthers score eight points with two minutes to go to send the Broncos to extra time. With Peter Wallace as the new five eighth, set the ball sailing forty metres straight between the sticks to defeat Brisbane 29-28. Frank Pritchard was a star forward in a remarkable Penrith win. Immediately following this, fans were seeing a home semi final. A bit early, you may say…?

You may, as Round 4 brought the Gold Coast to Penrith Park. Unfortunately the Panthers didn’t show up until the 76th minute. It was disappointing to be sitting in the Eastern Grandstand that day with such hype after the win over last year’s winners. Beaten by two in the end, the Titans were the much better team in their first away win in the club’s history, downing Penrith 24-22. Fans thought this may have brought the players back down to earth after two shock victories.

Fans were kept disillusioned, as loses were handed to the Panthers by neighbors Parramatta, the inform Storm and even the out of form Dragons. There was the Raiders game amongst that, but the less said about the 34-18 win to Canberra the better, thought all the Panthers fans.

Last weekend, the Panthers make the long trip up to Townsville to take on the Cowboys. If a team was playing consistently their best this year, you’d say that North Queensland would be it. Footy fans, not just of the Panthers, were cringing as an expected onslaught of points was about to pile up against Penrith. Much the same as the Bulldogs game seven rounds ago, the Panthers found their feet and were able to rack up 22 points, the Cows 12. The boys were leaving their fans not knowing what to think; losing to the Saints when Penrith were the better side, then while sitting in the bottom three, topple a team in the top three.

The Tigers are in fine form at the moment and come to CUA in Round 11. What will happen? What are the Panther fans to think next?

-------------------------------------------
750 words says the Official Word Counter

 

[Vaealikis Girl]

Eels sub: #5 MarkintheStands in for #9 Brycey

 

[Vaealikis Girl]

Posting by proxy for Eel's #5 MarkintheStands:

Monday Night is alright for football.

It has happened three times in my Memory. 3 Times it has been labeled an experiment. But in the late 80&#8217;s Channel 10 picked up the ball and Ran with Monday Night Football. Every game was played at the SCG and from my memories of it every game was very well attended. They had the &#8220;Rocketts&#8221; a bunch of dancing girls who added to the glitz and pizzazz of the spectacle.
Then when 10 lost the rights, I think that is when Monday night football disappeared.
It came back for a half a season in the Late 1990&#8217;s with Triple M behind it and providing Free Concerts before the games with head line Australian Rock acts. I remember Dragon Pumping out of Parramatta Stadium one night.
And now Fox is on a Winner with their Version of Monday Night Football. Three and a half hours dedicated to the NRL on Fox Sports 3. The Pre Game show that reviews the entire round and Judiciary Charges is on from 6:00pm Just after the peak hour. From 7:00pm the game and then from 9:00 or so the Post game show till 9:30. Everything you need for a good night in.
There are other boons from Monday Night football. The extra cash reportedly paid by Fox to stage games on a Monday, The NRL&#8217;s sponsorship dollars increase to help give the clubs more cash to put on better rugby league. The Ratings for Monday Night football are in the 300,000 range and 3 of the top 5 ratings games this year have been on a Monday Night. The Bookies make a killing as it is the only game in town.
But the most encouraging thing for me to see is that the Fans are supporting it, they are going to the games in droves. The Last Monday was in Melbourne with the Bulldogs and the Storm playing. This game would normally bring out the faithful, but with an almost full house at Olympic Park and what seemed like and electric atmosphere the game was an absolute show case. I have yet to go to a Monday night game but I also here there are lovely Nurses in an Ambulance who with a dose of football can &#8220;Cure your Mondayitis&#8221;
But it has it critics, The Bush can&#8217;t see the game, No one is carrying it on Radio outside Sydne. The Hotels don&#8217;t have it.
You know maybe I haven&#8217;t traveled the &#8220;Bush&#8221; as extensively as some. But in the last 3 years I have roamed around this great State of ours from Parkes to Glen Innes, From Lismore to Bathurst and beyond. I have yet to find a club or hotel that didn&#8217;t have Fox Footy Channel. So what does that mean I hear you ask, well Fox Footy is now Fox Sports 3 and that means that The Pubs and Clubs already get Fox 3. The AFR&#8217;s original problem with the NRL being on Fox Sports 3 was that Truckies traveling the Long and Winding roads of this country used to pick a place to stop based on the Hotel Pay TV Package. I have been in 4 hotels in &#8220;Regional&#8221; NSW over the last 6 months and have always seen Fox Sports 3 or Fox Footy. A Quick check of the Austar website, the Satellite PayTV provider of Choice in the Bush, and it states that the Sports Package, (an additional 14.95) includes Fox Sports 1, 2 and 3. This means if you had the NRL before in the Bush, you have it still.
So the other problem is the Radio. The NRL signed an exclusive deal with Triple M but Triple M is only available in Metro Sydney. You would also hope that Triple M Brisbane is also taking the call especially if the game is of relevance to a Queensland Audience. How can this be extended. One of the Main Protagonists has been Sydney&#8217;s 2SM who were upset that they were frozen out of the Rights for League and ask how can the NRL be so nearsighted as to only grant Radio Rights to a group that only Broadcasts in Sydney? Maybe if 2SM want to show the NRL they can play along and try to beat 2GB, they should approach Triple M for a Relay agreement to Stations outside of Triple M&#8217;s Broadcast Range, Allowing the Country People to hear the game? Who&#8217;s stopping the bush hearing the game?

References,
AFR Article: Rear Window 07 March 2007 by Andrew Main
SMH Article: Monday NRL is getting the punters in, http://www.leaguehq.com.au/news/new...-the-punters-in/2007/05/14/1178995076073.html by Andrew Stevenson
Austar Packages Available at www.austar.com.au

 

[Vaealikis Girl]

MITS article is 747 words

 

[Willow]

 

[ozzie]

dash it I posted the copy not the final - a few mistakes and they are "I started to take down the" and a double up in second last paragraph sorry about that guys

 

[Master Vippo]

Here are the scores peeps. Hope the media doesn&#8217;t go too hard on me in my debut game as ref. It was a solid game with some really good reads. I had a lot of fun marking it.

Eels

Bartman
From States to Nations? 85
Very readable, if not perhaps a little predictable. Discussing an issue which has plagued League for a while, and probably will for a while. If only the game&#8217;s administrators could see this.

Natalie&#8217;s Daddy
Encouraging Expansive Play or Punishing Boringness 88
Balanced, well thought out, well researched and well presented. Nice sitting on the fence opinion from the writer.

Bubbles
The Headline You Never Got to See 88
Killer breasts! Clever, well written article that I will choose to take as the truth. It&#8217;s the way any man would want it all to end.

MarkInTheStands
Monday Night is alright for football. 79
This article started well, dawdled in the middle and ended somewhere different to where it started so suddenly I really wasn&#8217;t ready. A few grammatical errors didn&#8217;t help proceedings.

Goleel
Giving Back 84
An interesting idea, but would need a lot of work. Certainly more than can be articulated in 750 words. The writer made a fair attempt at getting the point across.





Panthers

Ozzie
SAD YEAR FOR THE ROSES AND ROOSTERS 83
Bit of a sad article with some feeling.

Madunit
Code of Conduct 90
I didn&#8217;t think I&#8217;d like it at the start, but it turned out to be very funny. Clever idea, forward this letter to your club CEO and tell me of the response. 1.3b was my favourite.

[furrycat]
A Cat walks into a bar... 85
Let me guess, you don&#8217;t like Willie Mason? Amusing article, but I&#8217;ll need to rinse my eyes to get the cat orifice vision out.

LeagueNut
The Front Row Forums meet The Real World 87
Funny article, but a big risk. You were lucky that I knew what you were talking about. Still a good little jab at a few forummers.


Waken
The Panther Fans&#8217; Timeline 2007 83
A summary of the Panthers inconsistent season so far. Read well, but was missing X factor to generate a really high score.

Panthers 428 def. Eels 424

MOTM Madunit 90

Congrats Panthers and Madunit.

 

[madunit]

I told you I'd bounce back Mick ;-)

Good work Panthers, thanks for the game Eels, its always good to be in a match aginst 5 quality writers.

Thanks for the excellent and quick marking Master Vippo.