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Mental Health

Rocket man

Juniors
Messages
691
So we had a great change last night. We spoke to our daughter and she was shut down as usual but when we said we are going to make changes in regards to contacts on Kids Messenger and some other changes. This broke her down, she wasn't happy and we left her to sit with it. Probably an hour later she came out a changed person and opened up. She told her friends what was happening and we were taking her to the GP and she opened upto her friends that she needed this, she was sick of hurting and wants to be a happy girl again. The kicker in this is that this also got her friends to reach out to their parents for help and they are all heading to the school Phsych next week together. That was crazy, the ripple effect and the simple act of my daughter being brave enough to tell them she needed help started a ripple effect. She's been way more open with us today, it feels like I have my daughter back.

Appreciate you guys listening, never give up, go with your gut especially as parents. It's not over but we found a turning point.
So happy to hear.
 
Messages
13,640
So we had a great change last night. We spoke to our daughter and she was shut down as usual but when we said we are going to make changes in regards to contacts on Kids Messenger and some other changes. This broke her down, she wasn't happy and we left her to sit with it. Probably an hour later she came out a changed person and opened up. She told her friends what was happening and we were taking her to the GP and she opened upto her friends that she needed this, she was sick of hurting and wants to be a happy girl again. The kicker in this is that this also got her friends to reach out to their parents for help and they are all heading to the school Phsych next week together. That was crazy, the ripple effect and the simple act of my daughter being brave enough to tell them she needed help started a ripple effect. She's been way more open with us today, it feels like I have my daughter back.

Appreciate you guys listening, never give up, go with your gut especially as parents. It's not over but we found a turning point.
Great outcome. The breakdown upon hearing the changes to contacts and app settings is understandable/natural... but so glad for your daughter it resulted in a changed attitude toward the issues, and that it also had a positive ripple effect on the friends dealing with similar feelings.

Fingers crossed with the next GP steps, and glad your daughter isn't as shut down in conversations with you guys going forward.
 

eels_fan

First Grade
Messages
8,061
I’d just add mate that you should still follow through with the changes/plans you had said you would put in the place, as those plans were made to give her the best outcome on her mental health and you want to ensure the positive changes you’ve seen immediately are not a facade (as much are you would hate to think so - but it’s funny how kids can change in an instant to avoid a punishment - or a perceived one such as restricting access etc).
 

Gordy

Juniors
Messages
949
So we had a great change last night. We spoke to our daughter and she was shut down as usual but when we said we are going to make changes in regards to contacts on Kids Messenger and some other changes. This broke her down, she wasn't happy and we left her to sit with it. Probably an hour later she came out a changed person and opened up. She told her friends what was happening and we were taking her to the GP and she opened upto her friends that she needed this, she was sick of hurting and wants to be a happy girl again. The kicker in this is that this also got her friends to reach out to their parents for help and they are all heading to the school Phsych next week together. That was crazy, the ripple effect and the simple act of my daughter being brave enough to tell them she needed help started a ripple effect. She's been way more open with us today, it feels like I have my daughter back.

Appreciate you guys listening, never give up, go with your gut especially as parents. It's not over but we found a turning point.

That's great to hear. Sounds very positive.
 

Stevie

Bench
Messages
3,683
Here to vent. Today my 11 yo started cutting herself. If we back up 2 months ago she was perfectly happy. We have had indications of anxiety throughout her younger years and despite some lapses, has been managed well.
She got dared to ask a boy out and he rejected her and made fun of her and ever since its been spiralling down. Our daughter use to come to us and talk or if we asked if something was wrong she'd open up but now she has shut us off completely. We tell our kids that we will periodically check their ipads etc so I mentioned Id check and she writes alot to her friends about hows shes feeling and when brought up she stays silent. Her friends group had been good but now she has friends in that group who openly talk about suicide and cutting, and now my daughter is doing it. We're restricting the ipad tonight but she'll be allowed to speak with trusted friends only, got her booked for a GP tomorrow and this will be all under protest from her but Dad instinct knows better here. Theres alot more to the story than this but this just helped me speak it out. Props to all the dads and mums out there doing their best. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk.
As a dad of a nearly 7 year old girl and 4yo girl this really was a tough read.

First of all, it seems like you’ve handled this amazingly. I have no idea how I’d react but you did the right thing getting involved almost forcibly.

Although kids are far more exposed to stuff at that age now, they are no more equipped to handle it than any 11 year old girl in history, they are still children.

I’m SO relieved to hear things are getting better.
 

Suitman

Post Whore
Messages
56,761
As a dad of a nearly 7 year old girl and 4yo girl this really was a tough read.

First of all, it seems like you’ve handled this amazingly. I have no idea how I’d react but you did the right thing getting involved almost forcibly.

Although kids are far more exposed to stuff at that age now, they are no more equipped to handle it than any 11 year old girl in history, they are still children.

I’m SO relieved to hear things are getting better.

I agree that this was a seriously tough read and my immediate thoughts went out to @Snoochies.
This sort of thing is far more common than many people think.
f**king social media has been the downfall of the current generation.
I've also been through this exact same scenario with one of my daughters.
Others here have very sadly fared worse.
What our kids have to deal with these days is way worse than what us old farts dealt with.
I'll say it again. Social media is a curse.
I f**king hate it and what it has exposed our children to.
 

T.S Quint

Coach
Messages
15,406
As a dad of a nearly 7 year old girl and 4yo girl this really was a tough read.

First of all, it seems like you’ve handled this amazingly. I have no idea how I’d react but you did the right thing getting involved almost forcibly.

Although kids are far more exposed to stuff at that age now, they are no more equipped to handle it than any 11 year old girl in history, they are still children.

I’m SO relieved to hear things are getting better.

My girls are the exact same ages as yours, and I dread how hard it's going to be as they get older.
When I feel that it's bloody hard right now, I listen to stories from mates who have teenagers and I'm just thankful my kids are still at that young age.

I'm looking forward to them growing up...but also not. If you know what I mean.
 

Stevie

Bench
Messages
3,683
My girls are the exact same ages as yours, and I dread how hard it's going to be as they get older.
When I feel that it's bloody hard right now, I listen to stories from mates who have teenagers and I'm just thankful my kids are still at that young age.

I'm looking forward to them growing up...but also not. If you know what I mean.
Mate I totally understand. There is no silver bullet to “getting it right”.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,752
So we had a great change last night. We spoke to our daughter and she was shut down as usual but when we said we are going to make changes in regards to contacts on Kids Messenger and some other changes. This broke her down, she wasn't happy and we left her to sit with it. Probably an hour later she came out a changed person and opened up. She told her friends what was happening and we were taking her to the GP and she opened upto her friends that she needed this, she was sick of hurting and wants to be a happy girl again. The kicker in this is that this also got her friends to reach out to their parents for help and they are all heading to the school Phsych next week together. That was crazy, the ripple effect and the simple act of my daughter being brave enough to tell them she needed help started a ripple effect. She's been way more open with us today, it feels like I have my daughter back.

Appreciate you guys listening, never give up, go with your gut especially as parents. It's not over but we found a turning point.

Incredible outcome!
 

Glenn

First Grade
Messages
7,435
So we had a great change last night. We spoke to our daughter and she was shut down as usual but when we said we are going to make changes in regards to contacts on Kids Messenger and some other changes. This broke her down, she wasn't happy and we left her to sit with it. Probably an hour later she came out a changed person and opened up. She told her friends what was happening and we were taking her to the GP and she opened upto her friends that she needed this, she was sick of hurting and wants to be a happy girl again. The kicker in this is that this also got her friends to reach out to their parents for help and they are all heading to the school Phsych next week together. That was crazy, the ripple effect and the simple act of my daughter being brave enough to tell them she needed help started a ripple effect. She's been way more open with us today, it feels like I have my daughter back.

Appreciate you guys listening, never give up, go with your gut especially as parents. It's not over but we found a turning point.
Awesome news, it's great to see what your daughter is undertaking is having a positive influence on the life of her friends.
The worse thing anyone can do is bottle up their problems , and then it just becomes too much and spills over.
Unfortunately I have been guilty of that, but a tipping point came and now under taking regular psychologist sessions.
 

Eelementary

Post Whore
Messages
57,752
It's a testament to your brilliant parenting that you noticed something was amiss, made a decision that would be unpopular with your daughter (but in her best interests), and put a plan in place to look after her mental health.

Something that was conceived to be as innocuous as social media has become an absolute blight on society.
 

Snoochies

First Grade
Messages
5,658
Thanks everyone for your messages, I'm just a regular Dad doing the best I can.

On the topic of mental health, I recently completed a Youth Mental Health First Aid Course primarily for my role as a sports coach and dealing with a lot of young players dealing with a lot of shit these days. Didn't think I'd actually use it in my own household that quick but it did come in handy to help in this situation.

I've recently been accepted to become a MHFA Instructor with the primary goal to reach out to sports coaches and administrators to be able to assist youth and recognise the signs and to teach how to help in these scenarios.

I was booked in to do the training (to become and instructor) in Brisbane in October but a position has popped up in Sydney in July. Any tips on where to stay cheap, it's a week long course.

I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts in my early 20's. Using that, plus 25+ years of coaching kids and having seen and dealing with a large number of kids dealing with so much, I think I finally found my calling in life, something I'm passionate about and hoping to create real practical change.
 

T.S Quint

Coach
Messages
15,406
Thanks everyone for your messages, I'm just a regular Dad doing the best I can.

On the topic of mental health, I recently completed a Youth Mental Health First Aid Course primarily for my role as a sports coach and dealing with a lot of young players dealing with a lot of shit these days. Didn't think I'd actually use it in my own household that quick but it did come in handy to help in this situation.

I've recently been accepted to become a MHFA Instructor with the primary goal to reach out to sports coaches and administrators to be able to assist youth and recognise the signs and to teach how to help in these scenarios.

I was booked in to do the training (to become and instructor) in Brisbane in October but a position has popped up in Sydney in July. Any tips on where to stay cheap, it's a week long course.

I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts in my early 20's. Using that, plus 25+ years of coaching kids and having seen and dealing with a large number of kids dealing with so much, I think I finally found my calling in life, something I'm passionate about and hoping to create real practical change.

Would depend on where the course is as the where you'd want to stay.
For a week-long stay and Air BnB might be an option. Could work out cheaper to go that way.
If you need to stay close to the city, I'm sure there are plenty of cheap (ish) hotels around, but it's been so long since I've had to stay in one I would have no idea how much they cost.

Good luck with it all. Sounds like a fantastic and rewarding role to be in.
 

Gordy

Juniors
Messages
949
Thanks everyone for your messages, I'm just a regular Dad doing the best I can.

On the topic of mental health, I recently completed a Youth Mental Health First Aid Course primarily for my role as a sports coach and dealing with a lot of young players dealing with a lot of shit these days. Didn't think I'd actually use it in my own household that quick but it did come in handy to help in this situation.

I've recently been accepted to become a MHFA Instructor with the primary goal to reach out to sports coaches and administrators to be able to assist youth and recognise the signs and to teach how to help in these scenarios.

I was booked in to do the training (to become and instructor) in Brisbane in October but a position has popped up in Sydney in July. Any tips on where to stay cheap, it's a week long course.

I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts in my early 20's. Using that, plus 25+ years of coaching kids and having seen and dealing with a large number of kids dealing with so much, I think I finally found my calling in life, something I'm passionate about and hoping to create real practical change.
And that is all we can do mate.
That's bloody brilliant.
It's amazing how we fall into these roles without actually thinking we will end up in that area. It sounds like something you will excel at (I think you already have).
 

Stevie

Bench
Messages
3,683
Thanks everyone for your messages, I'm just a regular Dad doing the best I can.

On the topic of mental health, I recently completed a Youth Mental Health First Aid Course primarily for my role as a sports coach and dealing with a lot of young players dealing with a lot of shit these days. Didn't think I'd actually use it in my own household that quick but it did come in handy to help in this situation.

I've recently been accepted to become a MHFA Instructor with the primary goal to reach out to sports coaches and administrators to be able to assist youth and recognise the signs and to teach how to help in these scenarios.

I was booked in to do the training (to become and instructor) in Brisbane in October but a position has popped up in Sydney in July. Any tips on where to stay cheap, it's a week long course.

I dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts in my early 20's. Using that, plus 25+ years of coaching kids and having seen and dealing with a large number of kids dealing with so much, I think I finally found my calling in life, something I'm passionate about and hoping to create real practical change.
That’s brought a smile to my face on an otherwise shit day. That is awesome mate and you are a legend for doing that. I think it will be very rewarding!
 

Stevie

Bench
Messages
3,683
I gotta say I have spent since Tuesday on my ass in bed due to a really bad flu. It means I’m home alone whilst my family go to our family farm. Seriously, being in your house with no noise is so bloody sad. It sucks! This flu has really belted me!
 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
79,583
It’s Mens Health Week.

Go to the f**king doctor, you idiot. :p


 

Gronk

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
79,583
Good article. JV is a good human. I wish him well and hope he remains positive.

Nope, it’s spread. :(

 
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