United: Europe's Spurs
Sighs of relief all round at Old Trafford, then. For a minute it looked like Manchester United might not be able to field a full team next season, and would have to recruit some 13-year-old ringers from the local park.
But now they have splashed £16 million on Antonio Valencia (pictured). Who cares whether he is the right player? He's a player. And given the summer they have had so far, United will be grateful to get anybody on board.
It is the kind of signing that must make Arsene Wenger pound his fists in that ineffective way of his. The Arsenal boss and his scouts comb the world for emerging talents in the hope of landing a bargain. United just wait until a player is good, then they buy him.
A couple of years ago, Wigan signed Valencia for a fraction of the price they received from United. But having just had £80m dumped into their bank account in exchange for Cristiano Ronaldo, does it really matter if United overpay by £10m or so?
He might lack Franck Ribery's X-factor, but Valencia is quick, skilful and young, and Fergie knows he can do the business in the Premier League.
It is roughly the same price United paid for Serbian duo Zoran Tosic and Adem Ljajic, and less than they paid for Nani.
So a winger with a proven record of success in the Premier League seems like no bad thing - but then you have to be a certain kind of club to compensate for £32m of shaky spending by splashing out another £16m.
United are the big fish of the Premier League, snapping up Valencias, Carricks and Berbatovs from their smaller rivals.
But English football's great white shark encounters a blue whale of a club when it comes to dealings in Europe.
Real Madrid have already sucked Ronaldo from their clutches like just another piece of plankton, and are now busy hoovering up all United's main transfer targets.
Curiously, English 'giants' struggle to sign players who have already established themselves as world-class. Is it the weather? Is it the prospect of getting kicked by Joey Barton? Or is it that top stars hate Richard Keys?
Whatever the reason, United find it difficult to compete for those blue riband players. They are to Real Madrid what Tottenham are to them. And given Tottenham's status as a frequent laughing stock in the transfer market, that's not a good thing for Fergie.
Most of his major signings involve bringing players of obvious quality to a bigger club (Valencia, Wayne Rooney, Ruud van Nistelrooy), or taking expensive punts on talented youngsters who may or may not be the next great thing (Ronaldo, Anderson, Nani).
But it seems that when faced with competition from La Liga's giants, United are unable to land that big catch (yes, broken metaphor alert - the clubs have just morphed from fish into fishermen).
Back in 2003 Ronaldinho snubbed United to join a Barcelona side that had just finished sixth, and this summer Ribery, David Villa and Karim Benzema appeared to go off limits as soon as Real Madrid expressed an interest.
Benzema might yet end up at Old Trafford, but only if Real decide they don't want him. He will be the scrawny trout that Florentino Perez chucks back into the river.
Even though the Premier League is demonstrably the strongest domestic competition in the world, its top clubs still lack the same allure as a transfer destination as Madrid, Barcelona or even Milan.
Still, ED suspects United will survive, especially with the £16m outlay being widely seen as just the starter for 10 of an epic spending binge.
Contrast United's largesse with Burnley, who yesterday splashed out a club record £3m fee to bring in Steven Fletcher from Hibernian.
Although Fletcher's record of one goal per three games in the SPL hardly suggests a world-class talent, he is almost certainly a more significant signing than Valencia.
While Valencia becomes just another component of a 30-man squad - virtually interchangeable with Park Ji-Sung or Nani - Fletcher's performances could very well determine whether or not Burnley survive in the top flight.
If Fletcher fails, Burnley cannot just conjure more money to sign another striker - they are stuck with what they have.
Fletcher might be the most important purchase Burnley ever make. Nobody is going to say that about Valencia and United.
