Last night I headed over to a neighbours house to watch the Wallabies play Italy. I'm not a Union fan - but the chance of a chinwag and a few bevvies was too good to pass up.
It was only at 10pm that I suddenly thought "oh sh*t, I forgot to record the Roosters game. Oh well, if they won I'll watch the replay tomorrow". I got home checked the score - thought "typical, a 2 point loss, god we're crap" and went to bed.
I spent the night drunk and asleep - which is a great combination if you want dreams that make no sense. I spent the night dreaming of video referee errors robbing the Roosters of tries. Of course, the Roosters dont score tries or get in the position to score tries - so I knew I was dreaming. I woke up with a sore head and the sense that we'd been robbed - that's a great start to Sunday morning.
But to add to my sense of anger was the back page of the Sunday Herald. A picture of Braith Anasta being stretchered off the field and the headline read "trouble in paradise"
I was f**king furious.
It wasn't the loss that pissed me off. I hadnt sat through it and I'd tipped it as well. I mentioned to a mate at work that the Roosters would lose as they just seem to be able to find ways to lose at the moment. I'm actually amazed they didnt somehow conspire to scoring an "own try". I'm sure they could have convinced the referee there's such a thing. It wasn't even the loss of Anasta that stuck in my throat - even though he'll be badly missed. No, what pissed me off more than anything was the implication that Townsville is somehow "paradise".
I wonder what it is about Townsville that makes it so idyllic? Is it the utes, festooned in half dead animals and stickers that imply the person is going to kill you next, right after they've stopped shagging their sister and have sobered up enough to see straight or is it the horrible humidity that the poor bastards who live there have to suffer through for 11 months of the year. Why is it that we consider having sweaty nads whilst not getting laid as being the ultimate achievement in life?
If Townsville is paradise, why are there 4,500,000 people living in Sydney yet a mere 145,000 living in paradise?
Maybe we all secretly want to have limited entertainment options. Maybe we yearn to be the last people on earth to discover new things. Maybe we all want to listen to AC/DC and have the same haircuts for 30 years. Maybe we all want to think of Bundy rum and XXXX as being the pinnacle of sophistication.
The other day I was at work and someone told an Indian Fijian that she was so lucky to have grown up and gone to school in Fiji. Yes dear, you may have suffered through a 3rd world education program and been subjected to racism by native Fijians - but at least it was warm all year round. f**k off. This sort of hackney-eyed logic makes me want to spew my anal passage out of my mouth and then eat it again. She moved to Sydney because it offers more opportunity you f**king dumb doss hag.
If Townsville is paradise, then I want to spend the rest of my life living in the sh*t hole that Sydney must be. I'll put up with decent coffee, access to theatres and art galleries and multiple choice sporting events and the Worlds greatest harbour and a wonderful wide ranging array of restaurants and pubs and clubs etc etc etc. The rest of you can f**k off to Townsville.
The Roosters may be sh*t - but I'd rather support a crap team and live here than live anywhere else in the World.
Bah bloody humbug.
