http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2004/s1113178.htm
MARK GASNIER: ---- where the ---- are ya? There's four toey humans in a cab. Twenty to four outside ---- (inaudible) ---- ready to spurt sauce. And you're in bed. ---- me, fire up you sad ----."
And with that Mark Gasnier immortalised himself in the record books as the 2004 Hall of Fame Winner.
At the start of this competition our expectations were high in the "H.O.F.H.O" ( Hall of Fame Head Office).
Previous years have seen unique and unexpected feats be rewarded , and this year was no exception.
Once again Julian O'Neil came out of the blocks like a cyclone , he was obviously hell bent on regaining the title he won during the Poo in the Shoe incident . He reluctantly relinquished it to another deserved Hall Of Famer in John Hopoate for his finger in Bums indiscretion.Which as we all know sent repercussions around the world with US sports shows replaying the insertions
ad nauseam.
So "Jules" was really ready to make statement.
Enter one Mark Gasnier , the over rated centre with the famous uncle who plays for the StGeorge /IIlawarra dragons.
In one quick late night phone call to a girl whom he'd never met, Mark not only got himself sacked form the State of Origin team he also managed to get a hefty $50,000 fine , a couple of weeks rest from club footy and ultimately ending all future State of Origin bonding sessions.
Mark took time out from his "Mad Monday" celebrations to talk with HOFHO.
HOFHO: So Gaz , do mind me calling you Gaz?
Gaz : Um actually yeah , I prefer Mark if you don't mind.
HOFHO: No probs , so Gaz , was this a premeditated attempt at the winning the title or just a spur of the moment thing.
Gaz: Its Mark actually , and no it wasn't premeditated . I can't remember making the call let alone planning it.
HOFHO: So if that's the case then your girlfriend was completely unaware of this phone call until she read it or heard it on the radio or saw the reports on the tele?
Gaz: Yeah , she first heard it on 2ky's big sports breakfast. She thinks Terry and Richard are pretty funny ,well she used to think that. ( laughs)
HOFHO: I bet you were in heaps of sh*t off her for the sauce spurting comment.
Gaz: That's the under statement of the year , I still won't ask her to pass the sauce during dinner for fear of a severe ear bashing .In saying that though it's not as if I chucked a Hugh Grant is it? (laughs )
HOFHO: Um yeah well he's rich , famous , good looking and could get any girl he wants . Out of Sydney your just a bloke with a freakishly big chin , isn't that right Gaz?
Gaz: Yeah I suppose , and please I prefer Mark.
HOFHO: So your mate Browny ( laughs) , I mean your coach Browny. What was his take on the whole episode? He couldn't really be too upset as he himself has been known to hit the brown lemonades pretty hard on occasions. Hasn't he Gaz.
Gaz: He 's just upset that he didn't chuck a couple of hundred on me. Apart from that he didn't have a whole lot to say except for the odd "Fire up " digs.
HOFHO: So what about Mini's mobile , where's that now Gaz?
Gaz: I'm not really sure to tell the truth , I have a feeling it was left in the that cab. (laughs)
HOFHO: So Gaz
Gaz: Its Mark!
HOFHO: sorry Mark , any plans for you to go around for the awards again next year Gaz?
Gaz: Hmmmm , I'm not sure yet , we'll just have to wait and see .
HOFHO: I was very impressed with the use of a mobile phone, which is the first time we've seen this technique used in the Hall Of Fame awards.
It was a great modern twist with the classic use of the old bodily functions standards.
Do you feel this is the changing of the guard so to speak with the addition of technology , that is so easy to use that even a footballer can use these devises to his own advantages?
Gaz: I don't understand the question really
HOFHO: No I didn't think you would Mark.
Gaz : Its Gaz! um no hang on its Mark . You were right the first time.
HOFHO: Yes I was , wasn't I Gaz?
Gaz: Yes.
HOFHO: Well thanks for your time Gaz I'm sure your keen to get back into your Big Mad Monday celebrations , which might I add don't carry over to next years awards so if you have something planned wait until the pre season begins.
Gaz: will do , and it's Mark.
HOFHO: ( laughs) good one Gaz:
Gaz: its Ma...(beep ...beep...beep...beep..)
So there you have it folks the 2004 Hall Of Fame Winner Mark Gasnier.
Thanks to everyone who voted and we look forward to next years inevitable indiscretions from drunk footballers.
Carcharias C/O the Hall Of Fame Awards Head Office.
( all comments were completely fictional and a figment of the authors imagination ..all except the first 5 sentences)
