I was down at Sharkies this morning on my way to 'Good Guys' and saw a whole bunch of Asian guys measuring stuff around the ET stand, and had to ask em what was going on , and it seemes that it was a FengShui assesment. All we have to do is move a few thngs around and we will start to win more games!!!! How cool is that!
These jokers recon we need to move the ET about 28mm to align the shadow fall with the south west wind . This will allow an increase in positive energy that has been trapped at the top corner of the car park. It also seemes we have been running on to the feild from the wrong side of the feild for the last 41 years!!!! We should be running into the sun to capture the radiant energy not away from it. Simple eh! They wanted the goal posts moved and painted with a mixture of dog urine and fish scales as well , but they had heard from the ground guys that moving the goal posts would be imposible. Night games also prove to be a real headache with players loosing their way on the surface at night. This I recon could be the reason Pom has become so crap. To fix this these feng shui guys recon we have to brush the grass surface just before sunset with special wooden brushes these would be held by virgins in the left hand only and the brush action would only be from left to right. Not that difficult either eh? The virgin part might be a bit difficult in the Shire eh but we could import them right? The Warriors have the same problem but cannot slolve it. It is possible that there are black holes of darkness, unseen from the side lines , that can mezmerize the players and cause them to grasp thin air when they should be catching the ball normaly. Im thnking Simo here.These shadows can move randomly around the feild but mainly congregate near the side lines. Thank goodness there is a simple answer for this , and its curving the side lines by about 30mm in a wave pattern. These guys have heaps of ideas for us eh! It was getting on and I was getting in their way a bit but wanted a bit of advice regarding the players themselves . The only thing they were sure of was that we would be winning more often if the players carried a small bag of , jeez what was it , oh yeah natural blond female pubic hair around their waist. That might be hard to find in the shire eh! The Worriors have a problem there as well!
