2011 ROUND 2: Ninjas -V- Bluebags

[Jesbass]

Chuck Norris Texas Death Ninjas -V- Newtown Bluebags​

-V-

Game Thread:
* This is a game thread only. Only game posts can be made here - team lists, substitutions, and articles.
* Any other posts may result in loss of points and is at the discretion of the referee.
* Only original articles, not used in previous games, will be marked by referees.

Naming Teams:
* 5 -V- 5 (+ 2 reserves for the visiting team, + 3 reserves for the home team)
* No 'TBA' or changing players named
* Captains must stick with original teams named


Rules: http://forumsevens.com.au/rules.php
Official Word Counter: http://forumsevens.com.au/wordcount.php

Kick Off: Sunday 27th March 2011 (2100AEST)
Full Time: Wednesday 6th April 2011 (2100AEST)
Referee: Non Terminator
Venue: Reliant Stadium

 

[edabomb]

Ninjas name their side for Round 2, their first home game in almost three years.

paulquinn 49 (c)
jamesgould
gUt
joshie
Hallatia

Bench
edabomb (c)
Stelios Giannakopoulos
Raider_69

 

[Willow]

The Baggers bus rolls in - all 5 cylinders firing.

Three cheers for the Ninjas... welcome back to their home ground. Hip Hip Hooray! (x3) Followed by a drunken and rambunctious rendition of "why were they born so beautiful..."

We baggers are low on troops. Many have withdrawn through injury, some are seriously out of range, just hoping the good folk will find one of those new fangle internet phone boxes... oh, and some have been forced out by clandestine opposition forces. Such is life.

But we're still here, and we hope to put on a show for our generous hosts.

The Newtown Bluebags 'Volunteers' - Round 2, 2011

Willow (c)
AlwaysGreen (vc)
Timmah
muzby
Ridders

Interchange:
Drew-sta
gorilla

Good luck one and all. :thumn

 

[joshie]

Joshie runs onto the field to try and bring a stronger performance than his return from injury. GO THE NINJAS!

Bad Boys


Rugby League has had it's fair share of so called “ bad boys” lately. From Todd Carney, who was exiled by the National Rugby League whilst at the Canberra Raiders, to Anthony Watmough taking a leak outside a Manly shop. Our media blows it up to be like they are criminals of the highest, and that they should be condemned for their actions. I am not saying that they should go unpunished, but the punishment should be handed down by the respective club and the National Rugby League board if need be, not the media. But if the media is kept in the dark, a much sinister bad boy can arise, like the one we have seen in true bad boy, John Elias.


Recently I picked up his book Sin Bin, for a quick read on my way down to Sydney. I was amazed at how much this guy did and managed to get away with, even while playing professional sport. In his early life he had it tough, he moved from Lebanon as an infant, but when domestic trouble arose, his mother had to take up two jobs and neglect supporting John in his early life. He turned to mucking up at school and always being the cheeky, class clown. This was the beginning of what was to be quite a career of acting out. As he got older he got more adventurous, stealing cars and gambling, before being locked up at a New South Whales' maximum security prison Long Bay. He was only 16 and this is where he learnt his tricks.


As his football career grew so did his expansive life of fixing horse races and gambling. His gambling addiction was a fire he could not put out and it fuelled most of his crimes. The need of a heavy cash flow to support his addiction and the thrill of not getting caught attracted John Elias the most. He sold suits out of the boot of his car after training, then would use this money to repay lost debts from the gambling or gamble it back. When injury struck John Elias his football would take a back seat out of hatred and anger and all his criminal dealings would come to the list of life necessities.


Down the track, after for over a dozen clubs and pulling through some tough injuries, all the while committing fixes at horse racing events and becoming a stand over man, a former 'ally' from Long Bay appeared and tried to convince John to fix a game for a big win. He at first did but when everything fell through, the deal was off. However during the game, he was criticised for fixing the game and immediately the law was on his back. He then began helping a friend sell gun parts, which would eventually find him in jail after a Television Show type sting was done. This immediately ended John's club playing days and his faith with anyone willing to give him a shot. This was the final straw and little did they know he had done so much more.


So John Elias in comparison to a drunken night out where a player gets into a bit of a scuffle with someone, and the police end up charging someone. The media portrays it as they are massive criminals and that they lead other lives, but this is untrue., John Elias is the only one who should be treated like a convicted criminal. So when you hear on the news that some football player has done something, just think back to what John Elias had done, you will laugh off the news reports. You will see why the lives of these men need to be kept private, and give them some freedom.


But not everyone is a good person and team player, as alledgedly, John Elias is back to his old tricks bringing along with him a at the time Bulldog and a player manager. They intended to fix a game and place big bets around the place to secure the pay outs for the thrill. It did not pay off and now they have been caught, all denying they did it, but the investigation is pending.


So as we look at the next player on TV, just think are they really a bad boy in our game or did they just have another blunder. Chances are they had another blunder and nothing will come from it.

 

[gUt]

In the Not-Too-Distant Future

Transcript of post-Grand Final press conference with legendary coach Wayne Bennett.

Steve Mascord, Rugby League Week: Wayne, you’ve done what most said was impossible. You’ve lost a grand final! Were you mentally prepared for this?

Wayne Bennett: Mixed feelings. I’m proud of the way the team played. They went out there and bled for each other today.

Craig Hamilton, ABC: Wayne, can you describe how you’re feeling right now? A grand final loss as coach is pretty devastating isn’t it?

WB: Well Craig, I knew it had to happen one day and it may as well have been today. You blokes want to know about my feelings? Um… yeah I feel pretty bad. Obviously it’s not a good feeling… geez I’m struggling here. (Chuckles). But it’s not about me; it’s about those seventeen blokes and their families. All the sacrifices and hard work, all the bruises, broken bones, concussions, time away from home… to have come so close…

Danny Weidler, unemployed: Does anyone have an exclusive scoop for me about something?

WB: Can’t help you mate.

CH: Wayne, your team’s rise to the top 8 and then their amazing run through the semis has been called miraculous by some. I don’t want to embarrass you but whenever I speak to your players about this, they attribute it only to you. Would you like to comment on that?

WB: Not really but you blokes won’t let me leave until I do. (Chuckles). I guess that means I have to take all the credit for their close loss today. Look, it’s a team sport. They don’t go out there for me; they go out there for each other and for themselves. They go out there for their fans and their families. I’m just the bloke who makes sure they know how to tackle properly.

Andy Raymond, Fox Sports: Stop looking over my shoulder Danny you idiot. Sorry Wayne. I just wanted to hear your thoughts about the winning side today. How did you rate their performance?

WB: Thanks Andy. It’s their day so we should be talking about them. Those boys were up for this match; I could see it in their eyes. There was a coldness about them today, a hard edge that wasn’t there early in the season –

DW (interrupting): A SCOOP! INTENSITY “NOT THERE EARLY IN SEASON!” You heard it here first, Wayne.

WB: …As I was saying those boys really bonded during our harshest off-season ever and of course over 30 weeks of high-intensity football. Again just like my other team they went out and played for each other.

CH: It was an impressive performance right across the board, that’s for sure. Some of the hits those boys put on could be felt in the stands. The fans loved it. You must have been proud of their defense?

WB: Both sides were resolute and kept turning up but one side executed better than the other and ultimately, that was the difference. But the effort was there from both teams and that’s all I can ask for.

CH: I know you’ve been answering this question all year but is it hard coaching so many teams at once? Is it basically impossible to coach the two Grand Final sides at once? Who did Wayne Bennett want to win the contest?

WB: To be honest I just wanted to see a good game and I think we got that today. It’s hard seeing the deflation of all the players, the very good players in my other teams, that didn’t make it here today. But that’s footy. In the end there can only be one winner.

AR: Wayne, as we look forward to next year can you confirm that the remaining four clubs you weren’t coaching this season have approached you?

WB: Nothing has been set in stone but I am open to the idea of coaching every side in the NRL at once. At least it would finally end the speculation about where I’ll be next season and I can get on with what I love: coaching.

John Brady, NRL Media Manager: Thanks people, if there’re no more questions we’ll call it a night.

DW: SCOOP!

 

[Timmah]

Timmah wanders off the team bus wondering how long it's been since he last pulled on a 'Baggers strip.

'ere we go again!

*Timmah - Bluebags*

***********
Just another Manic Monday

Let’s face it. We hear the same cries every season from the same corners about the “evil necessity” of Monday Night Football.

In March 2011, South Sydney CEO Shane Richardson led the charge after just one round of the competition had passed, demanding the NRL drop the concept for the next TV deal, claiming a loss of income through dwindling crowds.

Before we move further, there were two problems with his claims. The first is that his claim came, not surprisingly, 24 hours after South Sydney were allocated a Round 6 Monday Night Football clash against St George Illawarra. The second problem, and probably more alarming for him – the first Monday Night Football match of the season, played a mere 72 hours prior to his March 17 comments, drew in a near-record 26,700 fans to ANZ Stadium when Canterbury and the Wests Tigers faced off. Further damaging his angry words was the crowd figure the following Monday, when a rain-soaked Toyota Stadium still managed nearly 13,000 attendees when Cronulla came up against local rivals St George Illawarra.

So what is wrong with Monday Night Football? Well, since those two early gems, the Cowboys (9,000) and Storm (11,000) have both hosted poor-drawing games. Overall stats show that Monday night matches draw less fans on average than Friday night and Sunday afternoon games. Despite the inaccuracy and self-interest of Richardson’s comments, he does have a point – and clubs are losing money when scheduling determines they host Monday night footy.

There are a few solutions, and all of them are obvious:

Scrap it. There are a couple of downsides to this. Monday Night Football is predominantly there because it rates well. The first round Bulldogs v Tigers clash was the highest rating live NRL match on Pay TV in history (a record since eclipsed in Round 4 by a Saturday night clash). Aside from the important TV ratings and advertising revenue this fixture generates, there’s also the matter of one less day of footy for the every day fan. Whilst many bemoan their team having to play a Monday night game, the majority of fans seem to embrace the extra NRL fix they get. Of course, the next problem with scrapping Monday nights is “where do you put the spare game?” Saturday afternoons are already a proven failure, having been shafted more than ten years ago. With fans already complaining that two Friday games are too many, where do we slot this fixture if it’s not to be played Monday?

Give the clubs more money. It’s a little-known fact the NRL already reimburse clubs who host Monday Night Football to the tune of around $40,000. According to club bosses like “Richo”, this simply isn’t covering the required costs. But with the NRL already throwing heavy sums at superstars like Bon Jovi for promotional campaigns, can the governing body afford such an increase?

Change the kick-off time. From this writer’s personal experience – 7:00pm is just too early. Many fans who work until 5:00pm cannot get to games in a reasonable time to be ready for a 7:00pm kick-off. 7:30pm is likely a better option and allows fans that extra travel time – especially those with kids or families to pick up before heading to the game. Again, this has its drawbacks, it impacts families with kids as they end up being out until later in the night.

Restrict the teams who play the fixture. There are some obvious instances where Monday Night Football simply isn’t viable – the Warriors and Cowboys are prime examples. While the NRL generally will earmark those as “no-go” zones when compiling the rolling schedule, other teams seem to struggle with Monday Night Football attendances. Again, the drawback on this becomes seeing the same sides running around on Monday night – particularly when the groundswell of feeling, particularly amongst CEO’s of Sydney clubs, are against it.

Where to now? Well for at least the next season-and-a-half, the dreaded “MNF” is here to stay. The Independent Commission and new television rights deal are just around the bend and it’s anyone’s guess as to what they’ll put in place. Some fans are screaming out for a full season fixed schedule, some clubs are just screaming out for decent airtime on free-to-air television.

All I know is, whatever the new Independent Commission decides on – it won’t please everyone.
*************

735 words.

 

[edabomb]

Ninjas substitution - edabomb in for paulquinn49

 

[Willow]

Bluebags substitution:
Out: Ridders
In: Drew-Sta

 

[Willow]

Willow | Bluebags


Whatever happened to the PNG push?

The advancement of rugby league in Papua New Guinea received a boost in 2009 when application was made to field a side in the 2010 Queensland Cup competition. The bid was seen as a stepping stone towards PNG's long term plan to have a club side in the National Rugby League.

On the surface, it appeared to be a bold move. In 1996, the Port Moresby Vipers entered the Queensland Cup competition, finishing eighth in 1997. Unfortunately transportation costs intervened and the Vipers were not invited to take part in the 1998 competition.

While it may have been premature in 1996, lessons should have been learned and another PNG proposal should have fresh legs. But for reasons that are unclear, the latest PNG bid never eventuated.

For a country that has rugby league as its national sport, I can't think of more honourable pursuit for the expansion of the game. Sure, there are hurdles to overcome and the NRL bid won't be successful in the near future. But the bid to enter a PNG team into Queensland has much more going for it.

Firstly, there is real evidence that a PNG club could be competitive in Queensland. In 2010, a spirited PNG Kumuls outfit defeated an Ipswich Invitational side 50-26 in front of large Queensland crowd, Ipswich already having representation in the Queensland Cup and having their own hopes of one day entering the NRL.

Secondly, a PNG club side has the backing of its own government in a country that is mad about rugby league. This should go a long way to provide sponsorship and make the bid financially viable.

Thirdly, PNG has player depth. The country has produced its own share of international stars including Adrian Lam, Marcus Bai, Neville Costigan, Stanley Gene and John Wilshere. Add to this the current crop of PNG senior players and the huge backyard of Pacific Island nations. Plus those NRL, NSWRL and QRL players who would be lured over.

If that's not enough, consider this: in PNG there are approximately two million people, kids and adults, playing rugby league out of a total population of 6.6 million. 50% of the population are under 18 years of age! There's no reason why PNG would not have the depth to compete in the Queensland Cup. Heck, give them time and I reckon they'd send a few NRL sides packing.

Finally, other sides of lesser talent and organisation have regularly competed in the Queensland Cup. Yes, including the Vipers. But there have been bigger failures since that were given every chance to compete. For example, in 2004 I was in attendance at the last AGM for the Brother-Valleys club. With members sitting on upturned garbage bins adjacent to a carpark, the club president stood down after it became apparent the club could no longer survive on the goodwill of its creditors. It was a debt of just $5,000 that eventually brought the proud club down. Despite this, the QRL gave Brothers-Valleys until the 11th hour to field a side in the 2005 competition.

The PNG proposal has the support of an entire nation. But they also have a lot of support elsewhere, not only amongst the Pacific Island nations but also in Australia. QRL boss Ross Livermore has given some backing to the proposal (as long as the transport is paid for!) but the most encouraging support comes from Queensland coach Mal Meninga. A Maroons legend, Meninga is part of the PNG NRL bid committee and he's pretty much a god on both sides of the Torres Strait.

So why didn't the Queensland Cup bid get up in 2010?

Concerns over infrastructure and administration gets raised regularly. Do they have enough behind them in terms of transport, coaches, trainers and referees? Are the local football grounds up to scratch? Will visiting teams have any safety concerns? Perhaps there are more positive reasons. Such as just waiting until the bid is right.

Interestingly, the Gold Coast Titans chairman Paul Broughton, also member of the PNG NRL bid team, wrote a submission voicing his opposition to the Queensland Cup proposal. Broughton preferred a direct route to the NRL for PNG - a forlorn hope and an opinion not shared by Meninga and a chorus of others.

So what happened to the PNG push? I asked around and got five different answers, no one seems to be sure. In true PNG style, perhaps we'll just have to wait and see.

Words | 750
Ref | http://www.pngnrlbid.com

 

[AlwaysGreen]

*AlwaysGreen - Bluebags*


Big John

I first came across Big John at a sports carnival when we were both 12. Big John was six foot tall and nearly 20 stone and threw the discus and shot-put twice as far as anyone else. He so embarrassed our school’s resident strongman that he gave up athletics for good. Next up Big John and I played cricket in the same side. Big John was a single child living in a tiny country village without much company so our coach invited him to play with our mob. John hit sixes and fielded at first slip. Running between wickets was not a strong point.

In fact running wasn’t a strong point. Eating and having a good time was. Big John kept on eating and by the time he was 16 he was 6’6 and 30 stone. And he wasn’t all flab – muscle cored his giant frame. Muscle born out of a lifetime on the farm; chopping tonnes of firewood, heaving grain, fencing for miles and shearing sheep by the thousands. Big John could lift or push anything you pointed to, a draught horse in human form. But could he play rugby league?

Our school was modest in its footy history, a win over the other nearest schools was greeted with celebration, a trip to Canberra to get a flogging a triumph – especially if Maccas was part of the itinerary. But some bright spark deputy principal wanted more than that, this dreamer wanted glory and Big John was his ticket there. Big John had never played the game in his life; his hands were like dinner plates but he couldn’t catch a cold. His running style was a cross between the Cliff Young shuffle and an elephant seal dashing for water.

But the bright spark had made up his mind, the big lad would play, and the bright spark always got what he wanted. The first step in the process was getting a jersey big enough to fit the man mountain – a XXXXXXXXXXL polo shirt from John’s own collection creatively decorated with textas would suffice. The giant’s presence would remain a mystery. Whilst the teams were warming up Big John stayed in the comfort of the dressing room, where he would stay until a replacement player was called for.

The whole school turned out to see the monster crush the enemy. When Big John stepped onto the field the jaws of the opposition hit the ground in perfect unison. Who was this Goliath who had come to trample them like ants? Their coach from the sideline offered little: “Tackle him boys – the bigger they are the harder they fall!” Fulfilling this task proved much more difficult.

First hit up and Big John rumbled into the defence like a tank into infantry, scores of bodies latched onto the mobile monolith but still he chugged along. Players bounced off him like peas on a drum, half the team could not stop the mammoth. Only exhaustion could, for 40 metres into his run the big man was puffing and blowing deluxe.

The puffing and blowing continued for five more minutes before hit up number two came. Again Big John was set upon; six, seven, eight of them latching to his arms, legs or wherever they could get a hold to while the train rambled down the line. This time the giant’s legs were cut from him through force of numbers and he fell like an ancient oak to the ground. It took a while for him to rise, but not as long as those who fell beneath him, broken bugs dug from the turf and placed delicately on the sidelines until their mangled bodies could heal.

Big John had two more body scattering and smashing runs in him, with the same elephant among the monkeys result. But after this the giant had to rest, clutching his chest and gasping for breath. Bright spark enjoyed glory but not at the price of a student having a cardiac arrest and the subsequent paperwork this event would involve. The secret weapon was replaced and the carnage he left behind believed that there was a God. Big John never graced the field again.

These days Big John goes by the name Tiny. He’s 6’10 and 40 stone with a frame that blocks out the sun. A few of the local league lads tried to sign him up for a season but John declined. Sighs of relief were reported from opposition teams for miles around.

*748 words*

 

[Willow]

[Posting by proxy for Drew-Sta - thanks to the ref and Ninjas captain for the green light]

Drew-Sta (Bluebags)


Tears run down my face

The call came on the way home.

“Hi honey, what’s up?”

“I’M SO SORRY! I’M SO SO SORRY!” Tears and the cry of a woman were heard on the other end. This couldn’t be good. The news was obviously horrific by the way the call had started.

To give some background, my wife is a wonderful woman. We’ve been married just over a year and it’s been a great start to a long walk. She’s strong willed enough to have a good debate with me yet tender enough to let me think I’ve won. To add, she supports the mighty Saints. It was a wonderful thing to share the grand final victory with the one you love and know that it was as special a moment for them as it was for you.

So when she called up in tears, I knew something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

“I swear I did everything right, I just don’t know what happened?” She sobbed.

“What is it honey, just tell me.” I replied in as soothing a tone as possible.

“I can’t, you’ll hate me.”

Slightly dramatic, but I didn’t say that.

“Nothing you do could ever make me hate you babe,” I cooed. This really couldn’t be good.

“But… but, you love it!”

“Love what, hun?”

“I can’t tell you. Not over the phone, not like this.” She resumed her sobbing again and I went back to making soothing sounds like the ocean and telling her it was going to be ok.

In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never heard her cry like this. At least, not from anything I hadn’t done. Like any male I had done plenty of stupid things to upset the one I loved, but never had she cried like this without me forgetting to pick her up on time or being thick headed about her needing a hug and some encouraging words.

But this was different. She was coming to me and telling me she was sorry. Unprecedented.

Not since the time we’d first met, way back in May 18th 2008, when I introduced myself to a ravishing brunette with wonderful blue eyes had she called me like this. In fact, part of the reason we got together is due to me wearing my pride and joy jersey – A replica 1965 Saints strip. She later confided that she wouldn’t have been able to date me if I supported the Sharks. That’s my girl!

I scurried home as soon as I could to be with my sobbing wife. Like a proud knight in shining armour, I flew through the front door to be at her side. I had the sneaking suspicious that it might have been our resident fighting fish, affectionately named Chuck Norris, who could have been the reason for this strange outburst of remorse. As I came in, however, Chucky was swimming around like nothing had happened.

On the lounge sat my sobbing wife. Tears streamed down her face, and I was beginning to get worried now. Had somebody died? What was going on?

“I’m sorry, babe, I didn’t mean it.” Her voice was sore from crying.

“Mean what, my love?”

“I followed all the instructions, I did everything I knew to make sure it was right but I have no idea what went wrong?”

The computer! That is what it must have been! My beloved wife is not so technologically adept, so she must have broken the computer. She has just started writing a fashion blog, which is quite good might I add, and she has struggled to make some things work because WordPress is a prickly piece of software.

“Did you delete your blog by mistake babe? Don’t worry, we can fix it.” I sat down next to her and gave her a cuddle of comfort whilst rubbing her back.

“What?! No!” She said, looking up at me with a confused look on her face. “It’s got nothing to do with my blog.”

“Then what is it?” I was quite perplexed now.

She paused. “Promise you won’t get upset or angry?”

“I promise.” It was an earnest promise. I genuinely wanted to help her through this.

I gave her a comforting smile, which she returned somewhat weakly.

With that, she pointed to the spare bedroom. I got up, walked in and there it was. Sitting on the clotheshorse was my pride and joy jersey – and it was now pink from the washing machine.

F**k!

(749 words)

 

[Hallatia]

Hallatia kicks off her 2011 campaign for the Ninjas

ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ​

Foundation Clubs

The South Sydney Rabbitohs and the Sydney Roosters are Rugby League’s only remaining foundation clubs, and perhaps that warrants some respect. Their mascots on the other hand warrant very little. I can recognise that roosters are proud creatures, but that pride will not help them against any of the creatures which represent any of the other teams. Roosters beat the Tigers at the weekend, but in reality, if a rooster were to come up against a tiger it would lose that battle EVERY SINGLE time. Rabbitohs – well rabbitohs are not technically creatures in and of themselves, ‘rabbitoh’ was just what was called out by rabbit meat vendors on the streets of Redfern back in yesteryear. I suppose we do however think of South Sydney’s representative as being a living rabbit. The South Sydney Club may claim some pride, rabbits on the other hand are practically ferrets which have no notable strengths in comparison to the mascots that represent other teams. They are pests and they have speed, but that is unlikely to help them beat any opposition they would face in the NRL. Rabbits did beat the Sea Eagles (another weak mascot) at the weekend. The Sea Eagle (despite not having all that much to offer) is a bird of prey, and a bird that a rabbit would have no chance against unless it was some sort of insane mutant rabbit which appears nothing like the one in the Rabbitohs’ logo...

Now, let’s just compare the representatives of these proud foundation clubs with those of newer additions to our competition. The most recent addition is the Gold Coast Titans. The Titan, now there is a mascot, what can’t a titan do? It would crush every other puny little creature it opposes. Imagine a rooster or a rabbit against a titan, that wouldn’t be a contest, that would be a joke. Neither a rabbit nor a rooster could even annoy a titan because the titan is made out of metal, it would not feel a thing either of those useless creatures tried to do it and would crush them both effortlessly. Despite the sheer awesomeness of the titan (and let’s face it, it’s a pretty fantastic creature which would laugh at most possible opposition), it is not unbeatable – interestingly, those in the NRL most likely to defeat the titan are also relatively new clubs. The first that comes to mind, the Storm - a mascot which most others would not even know how to challenge and would just get wiped out by whilst they think about it. A storm would dispose of a titan so quickly and easily, it would just need to strike the titan once and it would be gone (the metal although useful against most opponents will be its downfall against a Storm), and the storm could continue to strike it just for good measure.

When we think about it properly a Storm would be the most difficult thing to beat, perhaps why (if we ignore the cheating-which for the record I choose to) they have been such a successful club. The thought of most of the available teams taking on a storm would be pretty laughable. We say things like “Bulldogs take on Storm” without much trouble, but really imagine a bulldog taking on a storm, it would be ridiculous, all the dog will be able to do it bark and the Storm will be all over it and just strike at will – as the Melbourne Storm have been known to do against many opposition. The storm still, however, is not unbeatable. It is difficult to imagine a storm being defeated, but we can imagine a shark or an eel could weather a storm without too much trouble.

It’s wonderful that we have this competition with these creatures none of which is unbeatable; it is just unfortunate that some are just not capable of winning. Particularly unfortunate that those which are easily the worst are the two foundation clubs, they would have had the pick of whatever they could imagine and they opted for utterly useless creatures. They may think themselves to be proud foundation clubs now, but what must they have thought of themselves when they opted for such representatives. As far as I know, roosters can only fight one another and the only thing rabbits can take down is crops which are unlikely to be their competition.

ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ​

733 words

 

[edabomb]

edabomb for the Ninjas
-------------------------------------------

Youth Is Wasted....

It was a freezing winter’s night in the laboratory, mid June at Canberra University tends to be that way. As the clock hit 2am the Professor decided it was finally time to test his machine. He entered the machine and began the process, manually setting the machine for negative fifty years. An hour later he awoke, the aches and pains of a seventy year old vanished. He looked in the mirror; a hopeful looking twenty year old man stared back. He’d done it.

The big day had come. The Professor’s pride in his hometown had ensured the first public display of his invention would promote Canberra. He had come upon the idea of the 1994 Canberra Raiders playing the 1992 Brisbane Broncos swiftly. It would be the crowning glory of the Canberra Raiders Thirtieth Anniversary; the great 1990s Grand Final that never was. A demonstration with his colleagues and the chance to have two hours in their physical prime proved enough temptation for the players.

As the players ran out onto the field the crowd sat in awe, their heroes from yesteryear having erased fifteen years of wear and tear on their bodies for this occasion. The Raiders kicked off after a dispute over John Lomax was settled. The Broncos argued that Lomax shouldn’t be playing, as he was suspended for the 1994 Grand Final. Lomax retorted that his suspension was served over sixteen years ago, which referee Greg McCallum accepted.

Glen Lazarus returned the ball from the kick off. The television coverage showed him running towards the defence with a huge smile on his face. The smile lasted until he hit a jolting tackle from Lomax and Quentin Pongia. The three of them rose from the tackle, collectively thinking “how good is this!”

It didn’t take long for the first points; in the ninth minute Wendell Sailor leapt to claim an Alfie Langer chip kick. Protest came from the Raiders box – “Wendell wasn’t a part of the 1992 Broncos squad!” This was a topic the Professor had hoped to avoid, Willie Carne’s head had become somewhat scrambled during the transition phase. His trademark mop of hair had shifted on to his face, and he was about twenty years late to star in an ‘Alf’ spin-off. “Willie Carne is unavailable” was the official response; but more of this will be heard in coming days.

The Raiders hit back. A scintillating backline break from Brett Mullins gave them the opportunity. Spreading to the left on the next play Ruben Wiki crashed through a Chris Johns tackle to score. David Furner added the extra two, and a penalty shortly after. The Raiders took an 8-6 lead into the break.

In the fiftieth minute the Broncos hit the front again. Langer hit Alan Cann with a flat pass and he powered through the attempted tackle or Brett Hetherington and Wiki. Julian O’Neill added the extra two and the Broncos took a 12 – 8 lead heading into the final third of the match.

Trailing 12 – 8 with less than two minutes to go – the game seemed lost to the Raiders. As they meandered up the field Ricky Stuart had flashbacks to last gasp wins of years gone by. “Spin the ball wide to Ruben, give him a chance to get Kenny into space” he thought. Then he remembered the year – on the fourth tackle he put boot to ball and O’Neill watched the ball dribble into touch. “Scrum to the Broncos” informed referee McCallum. “What? That’s a 40/20 Greg!” screamed Ricky from thirty metres away. McCallum’s hand was forced; this was the year 2011 and 40/20s are in the rule book. Two tackles later Steve Walters dummied to Laurie Daley and barged over from dummy half, right next to the posts. As Furner added the goal the Raiders secured a famous 14-12 victory, no need to tell the grandchildren about this one as a decent amount of them were in the crowd.

“So we finally know who the best team of the 1990s was” proclaimed Tim Sheens at the post match conference. “We were the best team of the 90s. They only managed to get the win based on a 2011 technicality, under 1990s rules would have won!” fired back Wayne Bennett. Outside the players remained on the field, sharing stories and enjoying the atmosphere. “Let’s do this again sometime” Mal Meninga said to Alfie as the players headed off to have a beer, before their youth wore off.


-------------------------------------------
750 words including the title

 

[jamesgould]

The Weighty Issues

Last Saturday the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Sydney printed an article by journalist Rebecca Wilson on the takeover of the Newcastle Knights by Nathan Tinkler. I’m not going to waste your time by going through and critiquing the article, or point out the many factual errors included within. I also won’t give examples of the many “hilarious” fat jokes that she seamlessly included within.

The article, “Now it’s a weighting game”, is located here: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/nrl/now-its-a-weighting-game/story-e6frexnr-1226032326757 for anybody that missed it. What I would like to see is a forum sevens judge rate the article. And what I will use the article for, is an example of a media that has gone mad.

I wonder, and I can’t help but feel that the answer is firmly in the negative, would this article have been printed fifteen years ago? There has always been an audience (and one that is catered to, at that) for biased, sensationalist reporting. The obvious example is the tabloid newspapers in England. They specialise in rumours presented as fact, stories that have been later revealed as completely fabricated, and celebrity gossip presented as “real” news.

It’s my opinion, however, that these types of articles, or even these types of papers, are becoming and have become the norm. No longer are they frowned upon populist claptrap. Journalistic integrity now seems to be an option. Pieces that are light on facts, high on bias and personal attacks are now considered quality journalism. Let’s face it, the article above offers no substance whatsoever. It contains no examples to support its points. No facts to prove the message that the article is trying to prove. The author certainly has an opinion that she is trying to put across – however “evidence” like the $10 million annual guarantee being a mystery and nobody within the Knights taking a close look at the deal are obviously complete lies.

It’s unclear and impossible to say as to whether the article is very poorly researched or flat out lying, but what is able to be said is that it is an example of today’s dumbed down media. Why is this sort of journalism now considered mainstream?

The ever-loosening boundaries of our western culture definitely have their part to play. It’s similar to television – 15 years ago our viewing was mild compared to now. Drugs, sex, violence and swearing play a much greater part in our landscape than they once did. One could argue that journalism is becoming more liberal at the same time. However, while this may play a part, I don’t think it’s the main cause. Television censors may have become more open-minded, but the quality of such shows is often as high as ever.

Advertising and marketing has a part to play – satisfying the masses is the aim of savvy marketers, and the best way to do that is to have a product that is accessible to the most people. And cynically, this is seen as those with low attention spans and those not willing to invest time reading an in-depth article. Day to day life becoming more busy and the access to more media than ever has also played a part in attention grabbing media becoming more prevalent.

However I don’t think any of these are the main cause. I blame leagueunlimited! Or more accurately – internet forums. Especially when it comes to sports media. Within the last 15 years, we have seen it become perfectly acceptable to launch personal attacks on players. It’s now okay to give an opinion with no basis in fact. It’s fine to twist the truth to fit whatever argument you happen to be making (usually sticking up for your favourite player or club – or ripping into your least favourite). If you make an ill-researched opinion convincing enough, people in forum-land just might believe it.

Make no mistake, newspapers know about the popularity of places like this. And what better way to compete with them than become them. Daily blogs on website where they invite comments are a testimony to this. The article by Rebecca Wilson does almost read like a post in a forum.

The media has changed to become more like us in a short space of time. Internet forums are hugely popular, but does that mean we want the same thing from journalists? I say no. Journalism is a profession for a reason. It’s time they once again start producing a professional product.

 

[muzby]

muzby wakes up, looks at his watch and runs onto the field for the bluebags..

750 words from title to end.....




Todd Carney - The Musical
A one man cabaret show.

Starring: Brian McFadden as Todd Carney
Music performed by: Bernard Fanning, Tommy Emmanuel, & the guy from RatCat.

<Lighting> Lights open on a backdrop of the Big Merino

<Song> - Goulburn Goulburn (to the tune of New York New York, from the movie “On the Town”)

Goulburn, Goulburn;
It's a hell of a town!
Not much to do but just mess around;
With a Giant Sheep and a gaol in town!
Goulburn, Goulburn;
Goulburn, Goulburn;
It's a hell-of-a-town!
​

Brian (speaking): Well, I’m too good for Goulburn, it’s time for me to get some tatts & spread my wings. I’m off to Canberra

<music> - Instrumental of first 3 bars: Advance Australia Fair


Brian (speaking): I’m king of Canberra. I‘m the Raiders golden child, I’m like the love child of Laurie Daley, Mal Meninga and Ricky Stuart. I’m set for stardom here, absolutely nothing could go wrong.. Could it?
&#12288;
<Song> - Something Stupid (to the tune of Something Stupid, by Frank Sinatra)

When I play I break the line, and the game’s done you’ll have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there’s a chance
You’ll be appalled by me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two (or three)
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like Drink Driving.


I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies
You heard the night before
And though it’s just a car to you, for me it’s true
Burnouts never seemed so right before
I practice every day to find some clever ways to pay
The fines that keep coming through
But then I think I’ll wait until the evening gets late
And I’m alone with you
The time is right tyre smoke it fills my head, I run a light that has gone red and oh there’s the boys in blue
And then I go and spoil it all, by doing something stupid
Like doing a runner from here.
​

&#12288;
<Song> - Get Outta My Town (to the tune of Get Into My Car, by Billy Ocean)

(voice) Hey! You! Get outta my town.
(Brian) Who me?
(voice) Yes, you Get outta my town.

(Brian)Yeah, who's he think he is?
Kickin me outta the town?
Who's he think?
Yeah, who's that copper?
Kickin' down my door?
What's the score?
I was the starlight shinin' on in
Hey, Mr Furner, I did a lot for you.
But I was a non-stop boozer
Drinking VB cans,
And then I heard that voice come, from a man

Get outta my town,
Get into rehab
Get out of my teee-aam
Get into rehab, baby
Get into rehab.
Get out of my tooow-wn
Get into rehab
Oh, he said 'hey, you, Get outta my town’
​

Brian (curled up on the ground, speaking): Oh no, what have I done?


<Lighting> Fade to black, then re-light to see Todd standing, facing the crowd.
&#12288;
Brian (speaking): It’s 2010 baby, I’m fresh & clean. It’s my year!


<Song> - My Dally M (to the tune of “It‘s raining men“, by The Weather Girls)

Back in the NRL
Managed to keep on my pants
And according to the judges
I’m in with half a chance

Cause' tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in history
I’m gonna win the Dally M

My Dally M
Hallelujah
My Dally M
Amen

My Dally M
Hallelujah
My Dally M
Amen

Robbie Farrah’s not happy
Darius Boyd is pretty low
According to the polling
To me the award will go-o

Cause' tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in history
I’m gonna win the Dally M

My Dally M
Hallelujah
My Dally M
Amen

I'm gonna go out
I'm gonna let myself get
Absolutely freaking drunk

My Dally M
Hallelujah
My Dally M
Amen

​

Brian (speaking): It was going to be the perfect year. I was one step away from achieving the greatest comeback in history.

<Lighting> Slowly fade to black as Brian sings:

<Song> - Oops I did it again (to the tune of “Ooops I did it again“, by Britney Spears)

Oops!...The Roosters did it again
I played with no heart, and lost the big game
It got me drinking
Oops!...You think I'm reformed
But I drunk drove again.
Thank God the judge said: “Innocent”
​

 

[Jesbass]

That's the full time whistle!

 

[Willow]

*Standing ovation*
Thank you time keeper. Good luck one and all. :thumn

 

[edabomb]

Well done on getting 5 in to both sides. Good luck all.

 

[gUt]

Well I am new to this caper but it seems to me that every article in this game is quality.

 

[Non Terminator]

Ninjas 430

Joshie - 82
A look on the life and crimes of the infamous John Elias. Since I didn't know too much, it was an interesting read.

gUt - 90
It takes something special to capture these articles well. You've done a great job

Hallatia - 87
Sigh. Rooster bashing. Still, a good read regarding team mascots.

edabomb - 87
I've seen this idea out before, but the humour brings it together.

jamesgould - 84
An interesting read regarding the obvious lack of journalistic integrity.

Bluebags 432

Timmah - 84
A decent read regarding the controversies in Monday Night Football. Don't see this often enough.

Willow - 88
A good viewpoint of the Papua New Guinea bid. Really love the structure.

AlwaysGreen - 84
A great read on one of those great local heroes.

Drew-Sta - 86
Beautiful humour. You're not alone.

Muzby - 90
What the hell is with the Rooster bashing tonight? Still, very well written.

Bluebags 432 d. Ninjas 430
MOTM - gUt, Muzby