Does it get any b . e . t . t . e . r than this?
Saturday afternoon footy at the coldest shithole on earth.
Better rivals with two wheelbarrows of shit-talking posters.
The rivalry is illogical, nobody knows really what kick-sharted the hatred?
The steel city versus the public servants, whichever way you spin it both sets of supporters are bald. Yul Brenner, Patrick Stewart, Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Bruce Willis ... yep you guessed it, all bald.
But we're not just talking bald here, we're talking Brad Arthur bald.
Cast your minds back. David Barnhill, bald. Josh Hodgson, bald. Blake Ferguson, bald. Adam McDougall, bald. And the man so bald he played for both these merkins, Ben Kennedy. But Raiders have the bald edge. Knights have the merkin edge - with Johns and John's and Gids. And modern day merkin Ponga.
It's only fitting that when these two bald sides come together the fans turn into dribbling lunatics.
And long may it continue.
How did it begin, this hatred? Was it Joey giving it to Finch?
Was it Rogers trying to knee Vidots face off while his teammates held Vidot back?
Or is it just because both sides are shit? Yep, they're both shit. We all know it, but the players don't.
So the battle lines are drawn. Two shit teams playing for a finals berth, so they can be trounced by a good side.
At the end of it all, nobody will care. How good is diss?