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5th Ashes Test: Australia v England at the SCG, Jan 4-8 2018

ANTiLAG

ANTiLAG

First Grade
Messages
8,014
Sphagnum said:
'You may have a heart of gold but so does a hard-boiled egg'

'The third umpire should be changed as often as nappies, and for the same reason'

Haha
Click to expand...
  1. "All that comes from a cow is not milk"
  2. "Its very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!"
  3. "Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide."
Sometime when on-air
  • On Deep Dasgupta: "Deep Dasgupta looks as confused as a baby in a topless bar"
  • On Sri Lankans as demons on the slow pitches: "When you are dining with the demon you've got to have a long spoon!"
  • On the slow scoring rate of Kaluwitharna: "He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!"
  • On a huge six: "That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it !"
  • On why he doesnt make any election promises: "Promises and eggs are meant to be broken."
  • When Pakistan was down in the dumps during the first test: "In times of happiness, friends are plenty, and in adversity, less than twenty!"
  • Encouraging the Pakistanis after they lost the first test in Multan: "No one reads a book to reach the middle - its the end that matters".
  • When Indians lost their openers cheaply in the second test at Lahore: "When you lose your openers quickly, my friend, you are food for the devil's dinner"
  • On Laxmipathy Balaji's brilliant bowing in the third test at Rawalpindi: "He swung the ball like a banana".
And... Some others...
  • On Kochi Tuskers Kerala winning a tight match against Mumbai Indians, One good action erases thousand bad actions.
  • On Kochi Tuskers Kerala losing against Delhi Daredevils-They have dug their own grave with their teeth and god gives the toothless nuts to chew on
  • When you choose to live like a Tiger in a jungle, you just can't afford to be humble.
  • In times of prosperity, friends are plenty. In times of adversity, not one in twenty.
  • Its not the load that breaks you, but the way you carry it.
  • You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
  • The greatest thrill for a woman is to see a woman fatter than her.
  • Cricket is the game of glorious uncertainities! Glorious - When Tendulkar plays; Uncertain - when the rest of the team plays.
  • "Volcano" Valthaty
  • Sehwag-Warner's partnership is "terrorism"
  • It's possible but not probable, my dear friends!
  • This kind of chase has never happened in the history of this game, my dear friends!
  • Some succeed because they are destined to, but this guy succeeded because he was determined to.
  • In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left.
  • Pitches are like husbands: they keep slowing down!
  • Out of a small spark erupts a great fire.
  • In the garden of opportunities, it's much better to pluck the fruit rather than to wait for it to fall.
  • Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!
  • Troubles are like babies, the more you nurse them, the more they grow.
  • It’s like one legged person participating in a bum-kicking competition!!!
  • It’s very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!
  • I’m as confused as a baby in a topless bar!!!
  • Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
  • Runs are flowing like the fare in Indian taxi.
  • As innocent as freshly laid egg.
  • Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
  • There, there, that’s a dead duck!
 
King hit

King hit

Coach
Messages
14,062
Remember when people said Steve Smith was one of the worst players to ever play a test match

Wonder what they say these days
 
Mr Angry

Mr Angry

Not a Referee
Messages
51,816
Lots of gold there, but this one had me LMAO

The greatest thrill for a woman is to see a woman fatter than her.
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,126
King hit said:
Remember when people said Steve Smith was one of the worst players to ever play a test match

Wonder what they say these days
Click to expand...
No I don't.

Myth that he was a leg spinner who batted at 8, he was a batsman selected to bowl leg spin and batted at 8.
 
ANTiLAG

ANTiLAG

First Grade
Messages
8,014
AlwaysGreen said:
I'm sorry, I don't laugh at people who kill others.
Click to expand...

Thats cos you lack critical distance and suffer ad hominem fallacy in your thinking.

I don't like homicidal people either. But the author is irrelevant. If something is funny - its funny. But you don't get that. So I'm wasting my time even trying to explain it to you.

The rest of us can see the good humour tho
 
AlwaysGreen

AlwaysGreen

Post Whore
Messages
50,126
ANTiLAG said:
Thats cos you lack critical distance and suffer ad hominem fallacy in your thinking.

I don't like homicidal people either. But the author is irrelevant. If something is funny - its funny. But you don't get that. So I'm wasting my time even trying to explain it to you
Click to expand...
Here's a tip f**kstick, keep your poor attempts at judging others to your union troll self and stick your comedian commentator bullshit up your pompous, tryhard arse.
 
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