Title card and VO: Once upon a time
VO:
or maybe twice, there was an Earthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie, Im not too sure.
Shots of the Drum alligator, the mayors quartet, the piano players, Fred, a harpist, Fred presenting the flowers to a woman
and Sgt. PLHCB!
Meanwhile, up on the mountain, the Meanies are laughing. The Chief Meanie is carried to the edge of the cliff on a litter to inspect the troops.
Chief Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched, right Max?
Max: Yes, your blueness!
CM: WHAAAT? We Meanies only take NO for an answer! Is that understood?
Max: No, your blueness!
CM: Thats better. Are the troops in readiness?
Max: No your blueness!
CM: The Bonkers?
The Bonkers are very tall thin men who hold green apples in their hands.
Max: No!
CM: Clowns?
The clowns are
very scary blue clowns.
Max: No!
CM: Snapping turks?
Snapping Turks are fat men with fezzes on and giant jaws in their bellies.
Max: No!
CM: Anti-music missiles?
Max: No!
CM: Dreadful flying glove?
Max: No!
CM: Splendid! Today, Pepperland goes
bluely. Fire!
The Anti-Music Missile is launched, and a blue globe falls over Sgt. PLHCB.
Blue lightning bolts hit the population and freeze them
Fred runs through the madness, dodging Bonkers and lightning bolts.
Fred: The Meanies are coming, the Meanies are coming!
The Meanies watch the destruction from on high.
CM: Glove? Come here, Glove, look out there and what do you see? Tell him, Max.
Max: Someone running, Glove.
CM: Yes. Well, youll soon put a stop to that, wont you, glovey? GO, glove! Point and having pointed, POUNCE! Go!
The glove takes off toward Fred, pounds the giant YES into oblivion.
Fred: Oh dear, oh dear!
CM: Hehehe! Oh, I havent laughed so much since Pompeii!
The KNOW is attacked by the lightning bolts, leaving NO.
The glove chases Fred to the ground near the SP drum. It stops for an evil laugh, then raises a fist to pound Fred. The drum was on the back of the alligator, which swims away. The glove is soaked and the thumb sticks up as a periscope.
CM: What, what, what! The glove is loosing his touch!
He steps up to a clown.
CM: Hehehe! Do your worst! Explooode them
A Meanie brings a ladder and rests it against the clown. He climbs up and presses its nose.
With every nose press, some more scenery is destroyed. The glove resumes chasing Fred.
Fred: Er, uh, eh, not, not polite to point!
The glove pounds one end of a broken column, rocketing Fred into the air. Fred reverses the action and flips the glove over. It regains its composure and chases Fred to a statue of two hands shaking.
CM: a thing of beauty.. destroy it forever!
The Meanie pushes the clowns nose, and the statue is destroyed. The two hands fall over and trap the glove.
Fred runs to the Lord Mayors quartet
Fred: Sir! Sir! The Blue Beanies are coming.
Mayor: Not here, young Fred, they wouldnt dare.
Fred: They would, they are! What are you going to do?
M: Finish the quartet.
The Meanies launch another salvo.
CM: Fire!
The first violinist is frozen with a lightning bolt, and Fred catches the violin.
Fred: Trio, sir.
The second violin is frozen as well.
Fred: Duet, sir.
M: Duet?
The final violinist is frozen.
F: Solo!
Fred takes a whack at playing 3 violins at once.
M: Young Fred
the Blue Meanies are coming!
He leaps into Freds arms. They run under heavy fire to a temple.
M: Four scores and 32 bars ago our father land
F: A quartet
M: And mothers
F: Nother quartet
M: Made it in this
Yellow Submarine
F: What, that little thing?
M:
to Pepperland.
The Meanies advance while the Lord Mayor sets up his music stand on the uppermost step and tunes his cello.
M: Climb aboard, young Fred!
F: But sir, I cant even make me soap float!
M: Im appointing you Lord Admiral.
F: Lord Admiral! Well in that event, yes!
More Meanies advance
M: Hurry young Fred, go, get help.
F: But where, where, where should I go?
A Meanie is advancing on the temple on the shoulder of a clown whose nose he presses
M: No time for trivialities
The Yellow Submarine is blown off the top of the temple while the Lord Mayor plays. The Bonkers reach the top of the temple and he is covered in green apples.
Opening credits.
IN THE TOWN WHERE I WAS BORN,
LIVED A MAN WHO SAILED TO SEA.
AND HE TOLD US OF HIS LIFE
IN THE LAND OF SUBMARINES.
Apple films presents
A King features production
Starring Sgt. PLHCB
SO WE SAILED ON TO THE SUN,
TILL WE FOUND THE SEA OF GREEN,
The Beatles
AND WE LIVED BENEATH THE WAVES,
IN OUR YELLOW SUBMARINE.
Yellow Submarine
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
AND OUR FRIENDS ARE ALL ABOARD,
MANY MORE OF THEM LIVE NEXT DOOR.
AND THE BAND BEGINS TO PLAY.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
AS WE LIVE A LIFE OF EASE,
EV´RYONE OF US
HAS ALL WE NEED.
SKY OF BLUE
AND SEA OF GREEN,
IN OUR YELLOW
SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
A YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
A YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,
YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE.
Ah, Liverpool: drab, dreary and boring. A whole bunch of smokestacks go off on a bass note.
This song takes us through the city as we follow the Yellow Submarine through Liverpool.
AH, LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE!
AH, LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE!
ELEANOR RIGBY,
PICKS UP THE RICE IN THE CHURCH WHERE A WEDDING HAS BEEN,
LIVES IN A DREAM.
WAITS AT THE WINDOW,
WEARING THE FACE THAT SHE KEEPS IN A JAR BY THE DOOR,
WHO IS IT FOR?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG?
FATHER McKENZIE,
WRITING THE WORDS OF A SERMON THAT NO ONE WILL HEAR,
NO ONE COMES NEAR.
LOOK AT HIM WORKING,
DARNING HIS SOCKS IN THE NIGHT WHEN THERE'S NOBODY THERE,
WHAT DOES HE CARE?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG?
AH, LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE!
AH, LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE!
ELEANOR RIGBY,
DIED IN THE CHURCH AND WAS BURIED ALONG WITH HER NAME.
NOBODY CAME.
FATHER McKENZIE,
WIPING THE DIRT FROM HIS HANDS AS HE WALKS FROM THE GRAVE,
NO ONE WAS SAVED.
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
(Ah, look at all the lonely people!)
WHERE DO THEY ALL COME FROM?
ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE,
(Ah, look at all the lonely people!)
WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG?
Ringo kicks at a pile of cardboard boxes next to a brick wall with LIVERPOOL scrawled on it.
Ringo: Woe
is
me. Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night. And this is only Thursday morning.
VO: Compared with my life, Eleanor Rigbys was a gay, mad whirl.
R: Nothing ever happens to me.
VO: I feel like an old splintered drumstick.
R: Id jump into the river Mersey, but it looks like rain. Nothing ever happens to me.
He walks past some arches and the Yellow Submarine follows him, hiding behind columns when he turns. He stops in front of a wall, and the periscope looks over the top at him. A policeman is calling to a kitty on the ground.
Policeman: Puss, puss, puss. Here, pussy pussy
puss, puss, puss
(etc)
He straightens up as Ringo approaches. The cat jumps off the curb.
R: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a Yellow Submarine?
Policeman: No, no I would not.
R: Oh yeah, I didnt think you would.
Ringo leaves, and the policeman misses the sub floating past.
R: I coulda sworn there was a yellow submarine, but that isnt logical, is it? It must have been one of them unidentified flying cupcakes. Or a figment of me imagination
But I dont have an imagination.
He goes into a house labeled THE PIER and the Yellow Submarine stops. Fred gets out and knocks on the door.
F: Help, help, help!
R: Right, we dont need any.
F: Help, help, help! Wont you please, please help meeee?
Ringo looks at him through the mail slot.
R: Be pacific.
Freds distress causes him to babble unintelligibly.
F: Blbskdhfiueri
music
askdfhucuvb
submarine
balkdfiu.. explosions
BLUE MEANIES!
R: What you need is
F: H for hurry, E for urgent, L for love me and P for p-p-p-p-please help!
The door opens and Fred steps alone into a Hall of Doors. He goes into one door and odd things pop in and out of the other doors. We follow Fred inside to a promenade with double staircases. Ringo drives a car down one of them and nearly hits Fred at the bottom.
R: Oh, your storys touched me heart. Jump in, well get me friends.
F: Oh, bless you!
R: Did I sneeze?
They drive back through the door into the Hall of Doors.
F: Just park it here.
R: Ill just park it here.
They go in one door and more things go in and out behind them in a fashion that obviously inspired Terry Gilliam. We follow Fred and Ringo into a room filled with displays and models of superheros.
F: Hey, what would your friends be doing here?
R: Displaying.
F: Displaying what?
R: Displaying around.
Music sting! We follow them into a room packed with immobile superheroes.
F: Cant we take one of these?
R: No, Fred, I only work with me mates.
We come to another room which features Frankensteins Monster strapped to a table.
F: Frankenstein?
R: Oh, yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
F: His sister??
R: Yeah, Phyllis. Hey, I wonder what would happen if I pulled this lever?
F: You mustnt do that!
R: Cant help it, Im a born lever-puller!
He pulls the lever and sparks fly as it awakens Frankensteins Monster. The monster stands and stretches, then grabs a vial of something purple, drinks it, and turns into John.
John: Hey, Ringo, I just had the strangest dream
R: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Oh, listen to old Fred.
F: Blbskdhfiueri
music
askdfhucuvb
submarine
balkdfiu.. explosions
BLUE MEANIES!
A beat.
F: Wh-what do you think?
J: I think it needs a rehearsal.
Hall of Doors: some toys are playing in the hall, but scamper back in a door on being spotted.
J: When do we leave?
F: Well, lets get the other two, John.
J: What day is it?
R: Saturday.
J: Then Georgell be here.
He opens a door and sees a picture of cows in a psychedelic frame and we hear the beginnings of "Love You Too." We pan up and see George standing atop the frame.
In the Hall:
R: George, what are you doing up there?
George drives by again and again in Ringos car.
George: Now what is it, Ringo? Is there a matter youd like to take up? Or down?
R: This chap here.
F: Blbskdhfiueri
music
askdfhucuvb
submarine
explosions
Fred, John, and Ringo: BLUE MEANIES!
G: Aww, youre nuts, the pair of ya.
R: Hey, wait a minute, thats my car, luv!
G: How do you know its your car, luv?
R: Id know it anywhere!
G: Whats it look like then?
R: Well, its red with yellow wheels.
George drives back in the frame, and the car is
R: I mean blue with orange wheels.
He drives out and in, and the car is yellow with purple wheels.
G: Its all in the mind.
They all pile in the car.
J: Move over, Im driving.
G: No, I got here first.
R: Ill drive you if you like.
G: No, you sit in the middle!
J: No, IM sitting in the middle!
R: You said you were driving.
J: I am driving!
G: Ill get in the back, then.
They drive off and immediately crash the car offscreen. They run back into the frame.
John opens a door to see King Kong abducting a woman.
G: Do you think were interrupting something?
J: I think so.
He shuts the door.
J: Gotta find Paul, havent we?
He opens a door with looks like it leads to a living room, but a train comes up from under the table. Just as its about to hit him, he shuts the door.
G: Its all in the mind.
J: Well try one of those doors.
They open one and we hear cheering. We cant see inside.
G: Yes, they do look very nice, dont they?
R: Yes they do.
J: They do, though, dont they?
G: Yes they do.
R: No, they dont.
G: Dont?
Paul exits, straightens his tie and catches a bouquet that was thrown to him.
J: Voila!*
Paul: Whats the matter fellas? Blue Meanies?
F: Well, lads, what do you think?
G: I think that
F: Remember, theyll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?
P: Well, then um
F: Pounding, overwhelming waves. What do you think of that, eh?
G: Well I think that
R: As a matter of fact I think that
ALL: I think
F: Well?
ALL: Ive forgotten.
They exit the Hall and see the Yellow Submarine.
F: Right then, lets get this vessel ship shape!
G: I kinda like the way it is
submarine shaped!
A montage of places in Europe flashes by to the tune of "A Day in the Life."
Inside the sub
P: So
this is a submarine?
J: Soft, isnt it?
Ringo comes up from a hatch.
R: Not if youre on the bottom.
F: Alright lads, time to stow the gab and turn to!
P: Groovy! How do you start this thing?
F: It starts with a Blue Meanie attack!
J: Im supposing theres no Blue Meanies in the neighborhood?
F: (stutters) Well, then you start looking for a switch.
Ringo presses a button, cueing All Together Now
R: You suppose this is it?
And off they go! Each of them operates various mechanical things about the ship.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,
CAN I HAVE A LITTLE MORE?
P: SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN,
I LOVE YOU.
A, B, C, D,
CAN I BRING MY FRIEND TO TEA?
E, F, G, H, I, J,
I LOVE YOU.
BOM, BOM, BOM, BOMPA BOM,
P: "SAIL THE SHIP,
BOMPA BOM, CHOP THE TREE,
BOMPA BOM, SKIP THE ROPE.
BOMPA BOM, LOOK AT ME!
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
BLACK, WHITE, GREEN, RED,
CAN I TAKE MY FRIEND TO BED?
PINK, BROWN, YELLOW, ORANGE AND BLUE,
I LOVE YOU.
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
OH, ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW.
(all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW.
Having fun with some literal octopus ink
BOM, BOM, BOM, BOMPA BOM, SAIL THE SHIP,
BOMPA BOM, CHOP THE TREE,
BOMPA BOM, SKIP THE ROPE.
BOMPA BOM, LOOK AT ME!
A bunch of bubbles float by with a mans face in them.
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
Ringo looks at the mans watch.
R: What time is it, Guv'nor?
J: Its time
for time!
They all look at a clock inside the sub.
P: Look, the hands are slowing down!
The sub starts going backward
P: Do you ever get the feeling
R: Yeah.
P:
that things arent as rosy as they appear to be under the surface?
G: Whats happening, John?
J: Well, in my humble opinion, weve become involved in Einsteins time-space continuum theory.
G: All right
J: Relatively speaking, that is.
G: (Of) Course. Maybe times gone on strike.
R: What for?
G: Shorter hours.
R; I dont blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustnt it?
ALL: Why?
R: Well, its a 24 hour day, isnt it?
J: You surprise me, Ringo.
R: Why?
J: Dealing in abstracts.
R: Well, look, John. Just because Im a drummer doesnt mean Im not
I feel funny.
And well, he should, because he starts shrinking, becoming younger.
P: Hey, Ringo, youre not half the lad you used to be.
Paul shrinks too.
G: Hey, look. Everythings getting bigger.
as George and John shrink.
J: Its not, is us that are getting smaller!
R: I want me mum.
F: Here you are lads, old Fredll get you out of all this!
Only Freds not Old Fred, hes Middle-Aged Fred. Everyone looks out the window.
R: Look at that!
J: Cor, its all rows of Father X-mas-es
P: Its not, its Father Time
J: How do you know?
P: Well, I read it in a book.
F: I dont want to alarm you mates, but the years are going backwards!
G: Whats that mean, old Fred?
F: It means that if we slip back through time at this rate, very soon well all disappear up our own existence!
J: What are we going to do then?
F: Well, I suppose we could always try a few buttons
Paul and Ringo crank at levers.
R: I want me mum. (sniff)
F: Times fast running out for us, Im afraid.
J: Well, cant we do something to the clock?
R: What dyou mean, John?
J: Well, move the hands forward and see what happens.
He does so, and the clock reverses direction.
F: Clever lad.
G: Something strange is appening
its speeding up now.
They look out the portholes and see
P: Funny
a submarine remarkably like our own!
G: Uncannily.
J: Theres someone in it, look!
G: And theyre waving
R: Its a group of fellas.
J: Wave back!
G: Maybe were both part of a vast Yellow Submarine fleet.
R: Theres only two of us
John has gone noticeably grey about the sideburns.
J: Then I would suggest that yonder Yellow Submarine is none other than ourselves
F:
going backwards
J:
in time!
G: Hey, look at Ringo!
Old Man Ringo sprouts long, white hair.
J: Oh dear, were all the same
P: Senile delinquents
G: And I can hear my beard growing.
R: Wed better do something
P: WHEN I GET OLDER, LOSING MY HAIR,
MANY YEARS FROM NOW,
WILL YOU STILL BE SENDING ME A VALENTINE,
BIRTHDAY GREETINGS, BOTTLE OF WINE?
IF I´D BEEN OUT TILL QUARTER TO THREE,
WOULD YOU LOCK THE DOOR?
WILL YOU STILL NEED ME, WILL YOU STILL FEED ME,
WHEN I'M SIXTY-FOUR?
OO-OO-
YOU'LL BE OLDER TOO.
AH -
AND IF YOU SAY THE WORD,
I COULD STAY WITH YOU.
I COULD BE HANDY, MENDING A FUSE
WHEN YOUR LIGHTS HAVE GONE.
They go forwards in time and return to normal.
P: YOU CAN KNIT A SWEATER BY THE FIRESIDE,
SUNDAY MORNINGS, GO FOR A RIDE.
Card: sixty-four years is 33,661,440 minutes and one minute is a long time
DOING THE GARDEN, DIGGING THE WEEDS,
WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE?
WILL YOU STILL NEED ME, WILL YOU STILL FEED ME,
Card: let us demOnstrate
let us dem1nstrate
let us dem2nstrate
WHEN I'M SIXTY-FOUR?
Fun Sesame Street numbers count up to 64.
EV´RY SUMMER WE CAN RENT A COTTAGE IN THE ISLE OF WIGHT
IF IT'S NOT TOO DEAR.
WE SHALL SCRIMP AND SAVE.
(We shall scrimp and save)
GRANDCHILDREN ON YOUR KNEE,
Were up to 20
VERA, CHUCK AND DAVE.
SEND ME A POSTCARD, DROP ME A LINE,
STATING POINTS OF VIEW.
INDICATE PRECISELY WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY,
YOURS SINCERELY WASTING AWAY.
Heres 50
GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER, FILL IN A FORM,
MINE FOREVER MORE.
WILL YOU STILL NEED ME, WILL YOU STILL FEED ME,
WHEN I'M SIXTY-FOUR?
J: Well, correct me if Im wrong, gentlemen, but would you agree that we have been passing through the Sea of Time?
R: That would explain a few things, yes. Im glad Im not young anymore, or was it old?
J: What kind of a sea is this?
F: The Sea of Silence.
J: Oh yeah!
Only a Northern Song
No real plot point during this song
just sit back and listen to it.
IF YOU'RE LIST'NING TO THIS SONG,
YOU MAY THINK THE CHORDS ARE GOIN' WRONG;
BUT THEY'RE NOT,
WE JUST WROTE IT LIKE THAT.
WHEN YOU'RE LIST'NING LATE AT NIGHT,
YOU MAY THINK THE BAND ARE NOT QUITE RIGHT;
BUT THEY ARE,
THEY JUST PLAY IT LIKE THAT.
IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER WHAT CHORDS I PLAY,
WHAT WORDS I SAY OR TIME OF DAY IT IS,
AS IT'S ONLY A NORTHERN SONG.
IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER WHAT CLOTHES I WEAR,
OR HOW I FARE, OR IF MY HAIR IS BROWN
WHEN IT'S ONLY A NORTHERN SONG.
Does that box hurt anyone elses eyes?
IF YOU THINK THE HARMONY
IS A LITTLE DARK AND OUT OF KEY;
YOU'RE CORRECT;
THERE'S NOBODY THERE.
AND WE TOLD YOU THERE'S NO ONE THERE.
At the end of the song, a purple creature lands on board.
G: Hey, he looks wrong.
P: He doesnt look at all well.
G: In fact, hes horrible!
J: Hes so ugly
ALL: Really Ugly!
They make the poor thing cry.
J: Somebody push a button.
Ringo does so, and it jettisons the poor creature.
A host of exotic creatures roams the seafloor and the crew of the sub marvels out the porthole.
G: Hey, theres a cyclops!
P: Cant be! Hes got two eyes!
J: Must be a bicyclops.
R: Theres another one!
J: Whole cyclopedia.
A creature tries to eat the Yellow Submarine. A tea-kettle monster bumps it off course.
J: Theres a school of whales.
R: They look a bit old for school.
P: University, then.
R: University of whales
J: Well, they look like dropouts to me.
Ringo is driving, Fred is backseat driving.
F: Youve got to steer clear!
..of the school of Wale
er
whales
R: Steer clear?
F: Yes! Steer, clear?
R: Yes, steer.
The Yellow Submarine sprouts a smile and fools the smiling whales.
F: Now whatever you do, dont touch that button!
R: Which button?
F: That one!
R: This one?
Ringos also a born button-pusher. He touches it and it jettisons him onto the back of a dinosaur.. he slides down the tail
F: Oop, that was the panic button.
and is trapped atop a four legged creature.
P: Poor Ringo.
G: Poor Lad .
P: Never did no harm to no one.
J: Hey lads, now that Ringos gone, what do we do?
F: Learn to sing trios.
P : Noooo, lets save the poor devil.
G: I see footsteps!
P: Its a pair of kinky bootbeasts!
G: Preparing to attack!
The Yellow Submarine sprouts a shoe that stomps the bootbeasts.
J: I miss Ringo.
G: Hes far out there.
P: Always was.
The punching bag dinosaur!
G: Here comes Ringo!
R: H is for hurry...(fades out)
P: There goes Ringo!
G: Hey, its seen us!
G: Find the boxing button!
P: Who ever heard of a boxing button?
J: Who cares, find one!
Too late, for the Yellow Submarine is punched and flies end over end. Fred finds a button
F: Fire one!
All sorts of crap spews forth, including a Rolling Stones banner.
F: Oop, wrong one!
G: That
The Yellow Submarine gives the punching dinosaur a cigar and lights it. The cigar explodes and the punching bag laughs.
R: E is for urgent...
G: There goes Ringo again!
P: Thats well*, isnt it?
R: L is for love me...
P: Oh no, not the dreaded vacuum thrust again!
J: Well be sucked into oblivion!
G: Or even further!
F: Put her in reverse.
The wheel breaks off, but they do go backward.
J: So long, sucker.
P: Too much!
G: Too soon! Reverse reverse!
ALL: Injuns!
R: Help! Please help me!
A little fake Indian dude chases Ringo and shoots arrows.
G: So press a button!
John does and the Yellow Submarine lands and dispatches the US 7th cavalry to rescue Ringo. Back aboard the sub, he plucks a few arrows out of himself (tough kid, aint he?).
J: How was it, Ringo?
R: Arrowing.
The vacuum monster sucks up all the other creatures
P: Hey, look whos back! Full speed ahead!
R: Oh no!
J: The monsters packing in!
F: By all the sea nymphits, were losing power!
G: Were being swallowed!
P: What should we do?
J: Serve tea.
P: Lovely.
The monster sucks up the Yellow Submarine, the scenery and finally itself, leaving the sub on a blank screen. The motor konks out and it lands.
F: By Neptunes knickerbockers, shes puttered out!
J: Well maybe we should call a road service?
P: No car, no road
R: And were not sub
scribers.
ALL: Sub..scribers
oohhh
G: I know something about motors
let me have a look.
F: Here!
G: is that the motor?
Its really dinky.
F: Cant you tell one when you see one?
G: Course I can
let me peruse it.
He touches it and it shocks him.
J: Well, what do you think?
G: I think I burnt me finger.
R: Eh, lads
look at this.
They look out the portholes
J: What do you think it is?
G: Nothing.
R: Yeah, it looks like nothing.
P: Its a local inhabitant!
R: Hes probably one of the nothings.
P: Well, at least thats something.
Jeremy the Nowhere Man is sitting typing. (Hes notated N: because J: was taken.) I cant understand half of what he says; its gibberish in the style of Lewis Carrol. Hes short, fat, fuzzy and green. They disembark and approach him.
P: Hey, lets show him our motor!
J: Steady on! I mean, you dont want to be showing your motor to just anybody!
G: Yeah, but this is a nobody.
N: Nidic, Pidic, sedobreek
orphic, morphic, dorphic, Greek!
The typewriter turns into a piano, then a book, tree, easel
N: Ad hoc, ad lock and quid pro quo
so little time, so much to know!
J: Well, can you tell us where were at?
N: A true Sophratic query, that!
J: Oh yeah, and who the Billy Shears are you?
N: Who? Ah, who indeed am I?
He hands out cards reading:
J: Jeremy
P: Hillary
G: Boob
?
Ringos card says Ph. D. He says
R: Phubbt!
ALL: Who?
N: Eminent physicist, polyglove clatacyst, prizewinning botanist, hardwriting satirist, talented pianist, good dentist, too!
J: Lousy poet.
N: Critics voice, take your choice.
R: Must be one of them angry young men.
P: Or a daffy old creep!
N: Aye, a daffy old creep!
G: Dyou speak English?
N: Old English, middle, a dialect, pure
P: Well, do you speak English?
N: You know
Im not sure!
R: Hes so smart he doesnt even remember what he knows.
P: Hey, why dont we show him out motor?
J: Should we really
show him our motor?
P: He may not have seen one before.
He apparently has.
N: Tabo-prop super combustible spring! Metrocyclonic and stereophonic! This motor, I see, has a broken down
thing!
He hits it and it works again.
J: He fixed it!
R: He fixed it!
P: Great, lets go.
N: I must complete my bust, two novels, finish my blueprints, begin my bgee
J: Hey, Jeremy, must you always talk in rhyme?
N: If I spoke prose, youd all find out, I dont know what I talk about! Ad hoc, ad lock and quid pro quo
so little time, so much to know!
P: Hey, fellas, look!
Jeremy writes on a clipboard.
N: The footnotes to my 19th book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, Im also reviewing it!
He types
G: A Boob for all seasons!
P: How can he lose?
J: Were your notices good?
N: Its my policy never to read my reviews!
J: There must be a word for what he is!
ALL: HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN,
SITTING IN HIS NOWHERE LAND,
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS FOR NOBODY.
The four strut through the stark landscape filling it with color. John, Paul, and George are playing air guitar and Ringo is clapping his hands. (And yes, Paul is playing left-handed.)
DOESN'T HAVE A POINT OF VIEW,
KNOWS NOT WHERE HE'S GOING TO,
ISN'T HE A BIT LIKE YOU AND ME.
NOWHERE MAN, PLEASE LISTEN:
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
NOWHERE MAN, THE WORLD IS AT YOUR COMMAND.
HE'S AS BLIND AS HE CAN BE,
JUST SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE,
NOWHERE MAN CAN YOU SEE ME AT ALL?
NOWHERE MAN, DON'T WORRY.
TAKE YOUR TIME, DON'T HURRY.
LEAVE IT ALL TILL SOMEBODY ELSE LENDS YOU A HAND.
They strut backward and reclaim all the color. Jeremy is stuck on a turntable, going in circles.. he sits on the ground and cries.
DOESN'T HAVE A POINT OF VIEW,
KNOWS NOT WHERE HE'S GOING TO,
ISN'T HE A BIT LIKE YOU AND ME.
NOWHERE MAN, PLEASE LISTEN:
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.
NOWHERE MAN, THE WORLD IS AT YOUR COMMAND.
HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN,
SITTING IN HIS NOWHERE LAND,
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS FOR NOBODY,
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS FOR NOBODY,
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS FOR NOBODY.
J: Ok men, all aboard!
R: What about him?
J: Es happy enough goin round in circles.
R: Poor little fella
P: I dont know
Ringos just a sentimentalist!
R: Ah, look at him
cant he come with us? Hey, uh, Mr. Boob
you can come with us if you like.
N: You mean, youd take a nowhere man?
R: Yeah, cmon, well take you somewhere.
John gives Fred the motor.
R: Alright, Boobie
down the hatch.
N: Down the hatch
a quite curious phrase. The middle south middle Victorian phase. Its usage undoubtedly on the increase
I must work it into my new statesman piece!
J: Thats the hatch, friend.
N: Indeed?
F: Steady now crew, prepare to go forward!
George drives.
ALL: forward, forward!
P: Hey
its awful quiet.
The sub is sinking backwards
R: What should we do, Jeremy?
N: Repair, revise, revamp, renew
ifsit, dipsit
just turn the screw!
They land on the blue checkered surface and go back to look at the screws.
N: Logsign clocksign, big thingamabob
He takes the propeller off
G: Whats e saying?
J: Whats he doing?
N: Chewing gum will do the job! A turn of the screw and all is
Jeremy sticks some gum to the shaft and replaces it. The Yellow Submarine starts up and floats off, Wizard of Oz style.
N:
and all is new!
F: Hey, I cant stop that! H is for hurry
Es for urgent, Ls for love meeee
He fades off into the distance.
J: B is for
goodbye
G: That was lovely, Jeremy!
P: Weve lost the sub for good!
J: Or for bad.
R: Or for worse
N: Well, yes
Im
sorry about that
R: But he did fix the motor!
P: Erm
where are we?
J: I dunno, it looks like the foothills.
G: The foothills of what?
J: The foothills of the headlands
There are a hundred heads, each framing a changing picture.
J: PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES.
He stands in front of one head, which reveals different pictures of dancing girls
SOMEBODY CALLS YOU, YOU ANSWER QUITE SLOWLY,
A GIRL WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES.
CELLOPHANE FLOWERS OF YELLOW AND GREEN
TOWERING OVER YOUR HEAD.
LOOK FOR THE GIRL WITH THE SUN IN HER EYES
AND SHE'S GONE.
One flapper in particular
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
J: AH ---
FOLLOW HER DOWN TO A BRIDGE BY A FOUNTAIN,
WHERE ROCKING HORSE PEOPLE EAT MARSHMALLOW PIES.
EV´RYONE SMILES AS YOU DRIFT PAST THE FLOWERS
THAT GROW SO INCREDIBLY HIGH.
NEWSPAPER TAXIS APPEAR ON THE SHORE
WAITING TO TAKE YOU AWAY.
CLIMB IN THE BACK WITH YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS
AND YOU'RE GONE.
One girl gets off a horse
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
John puts on a hat and dances with her.
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
AH ---
PICTURE YOURSELF ON A TRAIN IN A STATION
WITH PLASTICINE PORTERS WITH LOOKING GLASS TIES.
SUDDENLY SOMEONE IS THERE AT THE TURNSTILE,
THE GIRL WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES.
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
AH ---
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY
She leaves, leaving John outside the head.
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS, OH,
LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS,
G: Er
carry on, lad, carry on.
R: He certainty was carrying on
G: Hey, I feel a draft!
P: We must be near the Sea of Holes!
The headlands thin out a bit.
P: Hey, dont you think we should ask somebody for directions?
They stop in front of a circle of empty heads
J: Erm, excuse us
P:
can you tell us the way to get to Pepperland?
The heads light up with arrows that go around in a circle.
G: Thanks.
They leave the headlands.
P: Gosh, look at all this dust!
G: Where did it all come from?
N: A chemical errror, and quite imprecise. This is a condiment
R: Condim
N:
a spice!
J: Hes right you know... Is it pepper?
P: Pepper!
J : Pepper! (sneezes)
R: (sneezes)
G: (sneezes)
The heads all sneeze and blow our heroes into a big hole in the ground. On the other side, they find a white space with black dots. The dots light up like a pinball machine as they bounce off until Ringo, John, Jeremy, and Paul all fall in a hole.
R: John, Paul, George
is anybody home?
People are popping in and out of holes
P: Where are we?
G: A holey sea!
J: This place reminds me of Blackburr and Lancershire.
P: Oh boy
George sits next to a hole.
G: How many do you think there are?
Jeremy attempts to extricate himself from a hole.
N: Enough
to fill
the Albert Hall!
P: Hey, didnt old Fred mention something about the Sea of Holes just before the Sea of Green?
J: Yeah
through one of them slots must be the Sea of Green.
G: But which? Which one?
Jeremy is stuck in a hole while everyone else bounds about.
N: Thesis
antithesis
syntheses
causes of causal causation
J: Hey, Jeremy
what do you know about holes?
N: There are simply NO holes in my education!
A Meanie appears below Jeremy
P: You mean, you havent composed a hole book?
G: Oh, great, what should we do?
N: Be empirical
look!
J: The boob is making more and more sense.
P: Getting better all the time.
J: Cmon, lets all look for the Sea of Green
.the Sea
of Holes into
. the Sea of Green.
N: Hydrolence, vergence, crysodine!* I think were near the Sea of Green!
A Meanie pulls Jeremy through the hole
Ringo comes by up top and picks up the hole. He explores its properties, then tucks it away.
R: Ive got a hole in me pocket.
P: Hey, wheres Jeremy?
J: Well, he was over there.
G: Well, hes not here now.
J: Well, he must have jumped ship then!
R: He wouldnt do that
hes our friend!
Ringo stands next to a green hole.
R: Boobie! Jeremy! Hillary! Where are you?
He jumps onto the hole, which begins to sing Sea of Green, Sea of Green
as it swallows all of them and transports them to the temple where we came in.
J: Pepperland!
R: A bit salty round the edges.
J: Looks all dingy.
G: And drab.
P: And quiet.
Ringo finds a pile of giant green apples. He throws one to the other three.
J: Safe at last!
P: And none the worse for our adventures.
J: Reminiscent in many ways of the late Mr. Ulysses.
R: Theres an eye in the apples!
Theyve found the Lord Mayor. Ringo pulls an apple out from the bottom and uncovers the Lord Mayor. They look up and see the triumphant return of the Yellow Submarine, which lands atop the temple.
F: There she blows!
Fred lowers himself on the anchor.
F: Lord Mayor! Sir, I made it! I made
Im back!
G: Whos this?
F: Our lord mayor! Hes been bonked! Sir! Lord Mayor! Un-bonk yourself! Even a little slat of a tune might get him up again
J: All right, well, lets sing.
A verse of "Think For Yourself" gets him going again...
ALL:
and you got time to rectify, oh, time to rectify
LM: Do I hear music? Do I see
young Fred?
F: You do, Lord Mayor!
LM: Ohhhh, bless my metronome! And did you bring help?
F: Yes, yes, look!
LM: Holy pizzicato, young Fred! Its quite uncanny, your faces.
P: Were quite cute, really.
LM: You could pass for the originals.
J: Well, we are the originals.
They start down the side of the temple.
LM: No, no, Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band.
R: Well, couldnt be much with a name like that.
J: Sgt. Pepper?
LM: You could impersonate them and rally the land to rebellion! Where are your instruments?
R: Lost in the monstrous sea. The sea of monsters.
F: Well get other instruments, Lord Mayor!
LM: Not a chance. The Meanies captured everything that maketh music.
They reach the bottom of the steps.
P: They hate music that much, do they?
LM: They shrink at the very sound.
The 6 men from the beginning form a rainbow gateway into the bulk of Pepperland.
J: Ok, you guys, shrinking time in Pepperland!
They all duck out of the frame.
We see all the frozen people and a Meanie eating a flower. We hear footsteps of the Bonkers as they go about their business.
A butterfly escapes both the Bonkers and the Catbert-like Butterfly Stomper. A Snapping Turk eats a little girls pinwheel. The glove chases anyone who tries to escape. The Chief Meanie laughs at the sight of it all.
J: He reminds me of my old English teacher!
P: Look, if you must shout, shout quietly!
The four are hiding behind cardboard cutouts of frozen people.
G: What do we do?
J: Coagulate with the crowd. Cutouts at the ready and lets
cut out
They do so and finally reach a hill with a fence made of brambles.
P: What a grand bandstand!
G: Thats where the gears kept.
J: Come on
P: K.V.! K.V.!*
A pack of blue bulldog (four heads, one body) is being used by a Meanie to scout the countryside. The sun goes down.
P: Right, the coast is clear.
G: Nows our chance!
R: But howll we get over the
fence around the hill that the bandstand is on? John shoves his and Ringos cutout together, trapping Ringos nose in between them.
G: Easy, follow me.
They rest the cutouts against the fence and use them as springboards. The Meanie spots them and opens fire on the hill.
Meanie: Ah hah! You fools!
They race up to the bandstand amongst the sleeping Meanies that have flung themselves everywhere. They finally make it up to the top.
R: Its not very light in here though, is it?
G: Shh, keep the noise down!
J: Hey, look what I found!
G: Its their uniforms!
P: Nice bit of gear, that.
R: Itll look great on, wont it?
P: Oh, it will, wont it?
G: Wont it though?
R: Wont it?
They put on the jackets and bearded hats.
J: Hey, how do I look?
P: Groovy, groovy! Hey, how bout me?
Paul puts his hand in the jacket, Napoleon style. Ringo looks out the window.
R: Hey, hey, its a bad scene, lads
were surrounded!
G: Oh heck!
P: A million billion Meanies!
G: Hey, theyre coming this way!
ALL: HIDE!
They consists of a Meanie and the bulldog. In their haste not to be seen, they clatter about in the bandstand, breaking drums, getting wrapped up in tubas, etc. Ringo activates a set of bagpipes and throws it out the window, almost waking a Meanie.
R: Shhhhh!
P: Dyou think they heard us.
J: I ope not.
R: Shhh!
G: What did you say?
J: Shhh!
G: Good plan.
Morning comes and they emerge from their sleeping places (Paul in a bass case, John from a piano) to greet the day
P: Hey look! Theyre all asleep.
R: Kinda look cute when theyre asleep
almost human.
G: Cmon, lets get out of here.
P: On tiptoe!
They exit, carrying instruments. George has a sousaphone, Pauls got a flute, Johns got a trombone, and Ringo has a trumpet.
P: Tiptoe
through the Meanies
ALL: Shh!
Ringo steps on the bagpipes and awakens a clown.
R: Oh, er
lets exude
They run while the clown awakens the rest of the Meanies. Ringo is tripped and John carries him around. They run into a forest and run helter-skelter through the trees
G: Relax, lads
not a Meanie in sight.
Ringo is now carrying John
J: Not even a teeny Meanie.
P: Not even a teeny weenie Meanie.
R: Great.
P: Aw, look, breakfast!
G: Right on time for a bit of brekky.
They run to a green apple tree and pick one. Four Bonkers come up on the other side and each picks one as well.
J: Look out!
They watch as the Bonkers line up behind a Meanie.
Meanie: Sound off.
Bonkers: 1234, 1234, 1234
J:
5.
Meanie: 5?
They all stand on each others shoulders and John is on top, holding an apple. John bonks the 4th Bonker on the head and knocks him down.
Meanie: Sound off.
Bonkers: 123
J:
4.
Bonkers: 123
J:
4.
Bonkers: 12
He bonks the 3rd.
J:
3.
Meanie: 3?
And the 2nd.
J:
2.
Meanie: 2?
And the final one.
J:
1.
Meanie: 1?
He notices our heroes.
Meanie: Are you, er, bluish? You dont look bluish.
J: Run for it!
They all fall over and the apple bonks Max on the head.
They run.
P: Right men, weve made it!
G: Instruments at the ready
J: Ok, on the beat of one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six
R: Hey, cant you make it three?
J: Oh, all right. On the beat of three. A-one, a-two, a-three
At the first hint of music, the people blink and awaken.
P: IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY,
SERGEANT PEPPER TAUGHT THE BAND TO PLAY.
THEY'VE BEEN GOING IN AND OUT OF STYLE,
BUT THEY'RE GUARANTEED TO RAISE A SMILE.
All the people return to color!
SO MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU
THE ACT YOU'VE KNOWN FOR ALL THESE YEARS:
P: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND.
The drum alligator comes to life and strikes a beat.
J & P: WE'RE SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND,
WE HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY THE SHOW.
J & P: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND,
SIT BACK AND LET THE EVENING GO.
ALL: SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY,
SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY,
SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND,
John speaks over the singing:
J: IT'S WONDERFUL TO BE HERE,
IT'S CERTAINLY A THRILL,
YOU'RE SUCH A LOVELY AUDIENCE,
WE'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU HOME WITH US,
WE'D LOVE TO TAKE YOU HOME.
They all hop on top of the giant head-platform.
P: I DON'T REALLY WANNA STOP THE SHOW,
BUT I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW
THAT THE SINGER'S GONNA SING A SONG,
AND HE WANTS YOU ALL TO SING ALONG.
SO LET ME INTRODUCE TO YOU
THE ONE AND ONLY BILLY SHEARS
AND SERGEANT PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND,
YEAH!
P: BILLY SHEARS!
J: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE
WOULD YOU STAND UP AND WALK OUT ON ME?
LEND ME YOUR EARS AND I´LL SING YOU A SONG
AND I´LL TRY NOT TO SING OUT OF KEY.
It fades out as Pepperland is restored to full color. The Chief Meanie is not happy.
CM: Ahh
the hills are alive
Max sings the rest
Max: With the sound of music
The Chief Meanie punches him.
CM: Whod do this? Who is responsible for this?
Max: Rhimmsky-Korsikoff?
Hes shot for his trouble and stomped on by the Butterfly Stomper.
Max: Guy Lombardo?
CM: Hehe, my dear friend
let us not forget that heaven is blue
tomorrow the world! Bring in my bluepas*
All the Pepperlanders say Who?
P: Who?
G: Who?
J: Who?
And with that, the word WHO comes out of his mouth
in solid form.
The glove flies by on recconasance.
CM: Ah, here you are my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence and destroy an upstart. Stomp them, crush them, cream them
o-blue-terate them!
The glove takes off.
Max: Here your blueness
have some nasty medicine!
CM: Ahhhhhh Love the* Glove!
We see Jeremy chained to an iron ball behind the CM.
Pepperlanders: Glove?
G: Glove?
P: Love?
R: Love.
John breathes out the word GLOVE.
P: Hes a clever lad, isnt he?
George catches it.
R: Open your mouth, luv, it wont hurt. Hey John, you havent half got a big mouth, havent you?
G: Its easy, all you need is love.
He holds up the word LOVE which had lost the G
John breathes out the word GLOVE, and the G falls away like the ash on a cigarette. He leaps to the ground, somersaulting on the way. The glove flies toward them
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
The words fly out and entangle the glove. Particularly the Os.
J: THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT CAN'T BE DONE,
NOTHING YOU CAN SING THAT CAN'T BE SUNG.
NOTHING YOU CAN SAY BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GAME.
IT'S EASY.
John shoves the NOTHING into the mouth of the glove.
J: NOTHING YOU CAN MAKE THAT CAN'T BE MADE,
NO ONE YOU CAN SAVE THAT CAN'T BE SAVED.
NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO BE YOU IN TIME.
IT'S EASY.
These words form a tower that the glove knocks over. The letters whack the glove to the ground.
J: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, (ho!)
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, (hey!)
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
J: NOTHING YOU CAN KNOW THAT ISN'T KNOWN,
NOTHING YOU CAN SEE THAT ISN'T SHOWN.
The glove gets John in its fist, but when it opens up, John is gone. Hes offscreen to the left.
J: THERE'S NOWHERE YOU CAN BE THAT ISN'T WHERE YOU MEANT TO BE.
IT'S EASY.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
P: (all together now)
J: ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
P: (ev'rybody)
Paul leaps down.
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE,
J: LOVE,
J: LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
The LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED forms a wall that breaks and traps the glove. It gets free, then flies off.
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED, HO! (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
J: Go, glove! Lovely glove!
R: You took the words right out of me mouth, John.
Ringo jumps down.
G: Hey, wait and watch!
He floats down gently.
G: Its all in the mind, you know.
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (love is all you need)
YO HO! - YIPPEE!
IS ALL YOU NEED,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED, (love is all)
YESTERDAY... (love is all)
OH! (love is all)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED, (oh yeah!)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
SHE LOVES YOU, (love is all)
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, (love is all)
SHE LOVES YOU, (love is all)
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. (love is all)
(love is all you need)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED, (oh ho!)
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED. (oh ho!)
(love is all you need)
OH!
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED,
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.
The hand statue reforms and the KNOW un-cracks. The Meanies all go crazy and retreat.
G: Hey, thats a funny place to leave a goldfish bowl.
He points at the Anti-Music Missile encircling the real Sgt. PLHCB
J: In Pepperland all things are possible.
P: Its not a goldfish bowl
G: Just a big glass ball, then.
P: Hey, its blue glass.
R: Hey, it must be from Kentucky.
Paul knocks, and Sgt. PLHCB becomes visible inside.
J: Hey, theres somebody inside!
R: Four fellas.
G: What are they doing in there?
P: Theyre not having a ball, thats for sure.
R: It cant be!
P: Its us!
J: But were ere!
P: Its Sgt. Peppers
R:
Lonely
G:
Hearts Club
J:
Band!
G: The resemblance is truly striking.
J: If I could come in here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein
Ringo covers his eyes in a here we go again gesture. George pinches his nose in disgust and Paul spins away singing
P: Any old Ein, any old Ein, any any any old Einstein
If you know what hes singing, please tell me.
J:
could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space
The other three kick and knock on the ball.
J:
according to the now famous theory of relativity
G: John
J:
which briefly explains
G: John!
J:
its simply a matter of taking two eggs
G: John!
The other three leave, grab a marble column, and run at the ball
J:
beating lightly
They crash into it
and are knocked back.
J:
then adding a little salt and pepper to taste!
G: JOHN!
J: George?
G: How do we get them out?
J: Break the glass.
They all shrug.
P: We cant!
G: Its Beatle-proof!
R: Nothing is Beatle-proof!
P: Hey, have you got your drumsticks with you? A drum break might shatter it.
R: No, I havent.
G: Have a look in your pocket.
R: Hey, Ive got a hole in me pocket! Hey, I wonder if
He plants it on the globe, and thick smoke pours out (anyone remember Roger Rabbit?).
R: Yeah, it still works.
G: Ringo, we take back all we said.
J: Youre a genius.
P: Sheer genius.
R: I know, I know, I know
They admire the colored smoke.
R: Like colored telly...
G: Like crystal
P: Hey, theyre decanting!
The real, one and only Sgt. PLHCB steps down off the stand to applause from the four. They each examine their doubles. John 2 & George 2 are missing the moustache and beard; Ringo 2 & Paul 2 have funky hats on.
P: Hello, brother!
One Ringo holds a drumstick, the other a cymbal
R: Yeah, without a doubt.
G: Were the spitting image of each other.
G2: Golly, yeah.
J: Im lead to believe that youre an extension of my personality.
J2: Yes! Im the alter ego man.
J: And I am the ego man, goo goo ca choo.
They shake, then all sit down with themselves and have a chat
G:
well, I m glad you asked me that, cause a matter of fact, theres a war on.
A lightning bolt explodes above.
J: Then brothers in war to the skirmish must we hence!
J2: Shall we hence?
P: Oh, lets not waste any more time sitting on the hence
Beatles to Battle! Charge!
Ringo blows an obnoxious bugle call on his trumpet as they all run off
the battle is joined.
R: Were surrounded!
With their backs to a player piano!
R: Nice dog, though.
Its the pack of bulldog coming at them! They hide behind the piano, and a John starts it up. The dogs are fascinated with the inner workings of the piano, but the singing scares them and they flatten their leader.
SHEEP DOG STANDING IN THE RAIN,
BULLFROG DOING IT AGAIN.
A clown comes over to see what all the fuss is about.
SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS IS MEASURED OUT IN MILES,
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE SOMETHING SPECIAL WHEN YOU SMILE?
CHILDLIKE, NO ONE UNDERSTANDS,
JACK-KNIFE IN YOUR SWEATY HANDS.
SOME KIND OF INNOCENCE IS MEASURED OUT IN YEARS,
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LISTEN TO YOUR FEARS.
From inside the piano:
J: YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
J2: YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
J & J2: YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
IF YOU'RE LONELY YOU CAN TALK TO ME.
They tempt the dogs with a bone, but throw out a TNT instead. It blows up in the clowns face.
The Beatles hide in the bushes while Sgt. PLHCB stays inside and behind the piano.
YEAH HEY! OH!
HO! HO!
YEAH!
HO! HO! HO! HO!
HO! HO!
The Meanies are searching for them
BIG MAN (yeah) WALKING IN THE PARK,
WIGWAM, FRIGHTENED OF THE DARK.
SOME KIND OF SOLITUDE IS MEASURED OUT IN YOU,
YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT BUT YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE.
YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
J & R: YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
YOU CAN TALK TO ME,
IF YOU'RE LONELY YOU CAN TALK TO ME.
SPLHCB: HEY!
John 2 points a gun at the dogs from inside the piano, but when he fires it, a squirty flower comes out. The Beatles are in the bushes and they distract the dogs.
WAHOO WOOF! WOOF!
HEY, BULLDOG, WOOF!
HEY, BULLDOG,
Beatles: HEY, BULLDOG,
P2 & J2: HEY, BULLDOG.
J: - "HEY MAN, WHAT'S THAT NOISE?"
Dogs: - "WOOF!"
J: - "WHA'D'YA SAY?
- "I SAID, WOOF!"
J2: - "D'Y' KNOW ANYMORE?"
Dogs: - "WOOOAAAH-HA-HA-HA!"
The Beatles emerge from the bushes and run off.
J & J2: - "YOU'VE GOT IT! THAT'S GREAT! THAT'S RIGHT! THAT'S IT, MAN, HOO!"
The dogs are horribly confused
they run between the Beatles and Sgt. PLHCB.
P & P2: - "GIVE IT TO ME, MAN, HURRY! I'VE GOT TEN CHILDREN, HO!"
G & G2: - "AH HO! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
The dogs smash into the piano and get wrapped up in the player paper.
J: - "QUIET, BOY, QUIET!"
P: - "OKAY."
HEY, BULLDOG,
HEY, BULLDOG.
Both bands run off, leaving Ringo behind. He looks around and spots a Meanie guarding Jeremy, who is tied to a tree by his leg.
R: Jeremy, can it be you?
N: Can it be me? I think youd better inquire of the guards, for when I was captured they took all my cards!
R: Shh, thats enough, Jeremy!
He produces an accordion, which he throws to distract the guard. He cuts Jeremy down.
R: Come on, the whole worlds being attacked!
N: Well, what do you want me to do? Do you recommend fisticuffs versus the guard?
Ringo points toward the Meanie
N: Oh guard, blue Meanie-o
left to the nostril, right uppercut, right to the eyebrow and left to the gut!
Jeremy trips over himself and falls into the apple tree. The apple shakes off and bonks the laughing Meanie.
R: Jeremy!
N: Come on, Ringo
They walk off to the right, Jeremy making little punching motions along the way
The Meanies, meanwhile, are in a mad retreat!
CM: Go back there! Once more into the blitz* go Meanies
youre advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards! My kingdom for a horse
oh
He cries at the site of his defeat, but then Jeremy happens along.
CM: I think Ill tear him up into little pieces
N: Oh he does, does he?
CM: Yes , I think Ill make a blue-burger out of him!
N: Ha ha! I dont care what you think!
Jeremy swings, but misses low.
CM: Oh you DONT, eh! Well soon see about that
J: He does in truth seem quite annoyed
some reference material be-be-before Im destroyed!
He whips out a book.
N: Where ground is soft most often grows, arise, arise, arouse, arose!
He taps the CMs nose and it blooms
N: A rosy nose?
CM: Speak your last piece!!
N: Peace, peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour, turn into a flower and bloom
bloom, haha! Bloom, haha! Bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom!
The CM runs off covered in flowers.
R: First time I saw that Nowhere man, that nobody
I know he was somebody.
J: Youre right
He calls across the hills
J: Hullo there blue people, wont you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle! Whaddaya say?
CM: Max
Max: Your blueness?
er
Your newness?
CM: Its no longer a blue world, Max
where could we go?
Max: Argentina?
J: Are you with us? Will you join?
Jeremy runs back to the ex-Meanies.
CM: Shall we?
Max agrees
Max: No!
CM: ARRrrgh!!
Max: N-n-y-y-y-y-es, your newness!
CM: Yeeeeeeeeees, Max
N: Yes! Ah, Yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues! The very best word for the whole world to use!
CM: Yes
let us mix, Max. I never admitted it before, but my cousin is the bluebird of happiness!
(TOO MUCH! AH-AH-AH)
IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
Yes!
WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES,
YOUR LOVE IS THERE FOR ME.
AND THE MORE I GO INSIDE,
THE MORE THERE IS TO SEE.
The once-mean Meanies and the Pepperlanders live together in harmony. ?
IT'S ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME TO TAKE,
THE LOVE THAT'S SHINING ALL AROUND HERE.
ALL THE WORLD IS BIRTHDAY CAKE,
SO TAKE A PIECE, BUT NOT TOO MUCH.
Ok!
NICE TO HAVE THE TIME TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY
TIME FOR ME TO LOOK AT YOU
AND YOU TO KOOK AT ME
IT'S ALL TOO MUCH FOR ME TO SEE,
THE LOVE THAT'S SHINING ALL AROUND YOU.
EV'RYWHERE, IT'S WHAT YOU MAKE,
FOR US TO TAKE, IT'S ALL TOO MUCH.
ITS TOO MUCH
AH!
We fade out to
the REAL Beatles! As in, not cartoons anymore.
Left to right, Paul, Ringo, George, John.
P: Catchy tune, that.
R: I cant seem to get it out of my head.
G: Well shake it!
R: Thats what weve been doing all night!
G: Oh?
John is engrossed in a telescope.
P: Well, weve had a great party.
G: And weve brought back lots of lovely souvenirs
here is the motor!
from the Yellow Submarine
P: And Ive got a little
love!
He holds a glowing word LOVE
R: And Ive got a hole in my pocket!
He produces same
(Please tell me hes acting that badly on purpose
)
P: A hole?
R: Well, half a hole anyway. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
Very slowly, making an obvious joke out of it:
G: What
can he do
with half a hole?
P: Ah..fix it
to keep his mind
from wandering!
Imagine a little ba-dum CHING!
R: Hey, look at John , will ya?
P: Whats the matter, John luv? Blue Meanies?
J: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted within the vicinity of this theater!
ALL: uh oh, oh no, ect.
J: Theres only one way to go out!
G: Hows that?
J: Singing!
R: One!
P: Two!
G: Three!
J: Faaaaawr!
Card All Together Now
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,
Card: CAN I HAVE A LITTLE MORE?
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN,
Card: I LOVE YOU
A, B, C, D,
CAN I BRING MY FRIEND TO TEA?
E, F, G, H, I, J,
I LOVE YOU.
BOM, BOM, BOM, BOMPA BOM,
Card: SAIL THE SHIP,
BOMPA BOM,
Card: CHOP THE TREE,
BOMPA BOM,
Card: SKIP THE ROPE.
BOMPA BOM,
Card: LOOK AT ME!
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
Each time ALL TOGETHER NOW is sung, the card shows the words in a different language.
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
OH, ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW. (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW, (all together now)
ALL TOGETHER NOW.
THE END
What A Movie! Just Thought I'd type up the entire script for all to see :mrgreen:
