Calling top designers. Fake News article

[Snoochies]

Looking for someone who could possibly put together a fake news report so I can stir up the blokes here at work who worship Lockyer.

Am hoping someone could create a fake news article stating that Lockyer has been injured and is out of tonights game.

I know it's last minute and a long shot.

Cheers

*I put this in the wrong forum, how do I put it in the wet canvas one?

 

[T. Rubble]

Okay, this is just a draft, off the top of my head. Use it, or not. But I had fun writing it! (Thanks for the assignment, Snoochies!)
--------------------

Mackay, Queensland. Due to an unexpected "family emergency," Darren Lockyer has voluntarily pulled himself from Wednesday's critical, tie-breaking Origins match. While a spokesman for the maroons [center?] has reassured News Seven reporter Callie Waters that the health of Lockyer's wife and daughter were not in jeopardy, another correspondent closer to the sport has discovered something slightly different.

"He confided in me that someone has posted photos of his wife on a certain website and a man showed up at her front door asking for [sex]," Shane Webcke said. "She was terrified, and rightly so."

It's something that has happened before, at least in the U.S. Officials from America's Federal Bureau of Investigation say that they've dealt with similar scams. One case recently involved a woman whose photo was posted online by her husband's vindictive ex-girlfriend.

In Lockyer's case, the website was discovered to have been set up from a site based in Malaysia. The Australian Secret Intelligence Organization has been called in to monitor the situation. Officials there believe that bookies may have been trying to sway the outcome of Wednesday's game. ASIO technologists have managed to disable the site. At least for now.

"Darren feels that in order to protect his family from immediate danger he needs to be with them," Webcke continued. "And who wouldn't feel the same way? I mean, the sport is just that. It's a game. Darren's got to protect his family. That's his future."

The future for the maroons, however, may be up for grabs.

 

[Timmah]

AAP - Brisbane, Queensland.

QUEENSLAND, Broncos and Australian great Darren Lockyer has been sensationally forced to withdraw from tonight's third and final State of Origin match to be played at Brisbane's Suncorp Stadium.

The Maroons' Origin legend, set to play his final match in tonight's decider, sustained the impact injury to his ribs during the sides final training run on Wednesday morning prior to the match.

While Queensland sources were cagey about Lockyer's status, AAP is able to confirm that he will not be taking the field in tonight's big clash.

Maroons head coach Mal Meninga is expected to move Dally M favourite and Cowboys halfback Johnathan Thurston to five-eighth and bring in Storm half Cooper Cronk to fill Thurston's role. It is understood Scott Prince is on standby to be named on an extended bench should Lockyer not take the field.

The blow for the Maroons comes after a trouble-free preparation, while New South Wales are expected to line up with no major trouble, Michael Jennings and Glenn Stewart the two players likely to miss out on state representation.




Hope that's not too late.

 

[Hallatia]

AAP - Brisbane, Queensland.

QUEENSLAND, Broncos and Australian great Darren Lockyer has been sensationally forced to withdraw from tonight's third and final State of Origin match to be played at Brisbane's Suncorp Stadium.

The Maroons' Origin legend, set to play his final match in tonight's decider, sustained the impact injury to his ribs during the sides final training run on Wednesday morning prior to the match.

While Queensland sources were cagey about Lockyer's status, AAP is able to confirm that he will not be taking the field in tonight's big clash.

Maroons head coach Mal Meninga is expected to move Dally M favourite and Cowboys halfback Johnathan Thurston to five-eighth and bring in Storm half Cooper Cronk to fill Thurston's role. It is understood Scott Prince is on standby to be named on an extended bench should Lockyer not take the field.

The blow for the Maroons comes after a trouble-free preparation, while New South Wales are expected to line up with no major trouble, Michael Jennings and Glenn Stewart the two players likely to miss out on state representation.




Hope that's not too late.

That's awful. I mean because it's written so believably - well done.

 

[Twizzle]

AAP - Brisbane, Queensland.

QUEENSLAND, Broncos and Australian great Darren Lockyer has been sensationally forced to withdraw from tonight's third and final State of Origin match to be played at Brisbane's Suncorp Stadium.

The Maroons' Origin legend, set to play his final match in tonight's decider, sustained the impact injury to his ribs during the sides final training run on Wednesday morning prior to the match.

While Queensland sources were cagey about Lockyer's status, AAP is able to confirm that he will not be taking the field in tonight's big clash.

Maroons head coach Mal Meninga is expected to move Dally M favourite and Cowboys halfback Johnathan Thurston to five-eighth and bring in Storm half Cooper Cronk to fill Thurston's role. It is understood Scott Prince is on standby to be named on an extended bench should Lockyer not take the field.

The blow for the Maroons comes after a trouble-free preparation, while New South Wales are expected to line up with no major trouble, Michael Jennings and Glenn Stewart the two players likely to miss out on state representation.




Hope that's not too late.

No source

Imma report you Tim

 

[IanG]

The Herald

NSW Premier Barry O'Farrell has tonight declared that NSW will observe 6 days of morning following the death of State Of Origin Rugby League. A media advisor from Mr O'Farrell's office issued a one paragraph press release.

We are shocked and saddened by tonight’s events, the flags on the Harbour Bridge will be flying at half mast until next Tuesday. The number of days of morning was choses as this is now how many series New South Wales has lost. It is also a possibility that Ricky Stuart may be forced to appear before a parliament committee to justify why he should be able to keep his position.

 

[Timmah]

You serious?

Hand in your NSW jersey, traitor.

This state doesn't need bullshit support from turncoats.

 

[Martli]

6 days of morning

"Man, when's it going to get to dinner time? I'm starving."

"It's not, we're observing 6 days of morning. Only breakfast allowed."


:lol:

 

[IanG]

Your an idiot

 

[Timmah]

*You're

 

[Jobdog]

:lol: 6 days of morning.

 

[Medievalknight]

:lol: 6 days of morning.

LOTS of sleeping in.. :lol::lol:

 

[Medievalknight]

Your an idiot

your in morning ... :lol::lol:

 

[Azkatro]

I'm going to find a cafe that does all-day breakfast every day for the next six days.

 

[TooheysNew]

Haha another Ian gem.

 

[Monk]

lololololololol.

this thread was unexpectly good.

 

[Medievalknight]

Haha another Ian gem.

Only while he is in morning tho.

 

[urban eel]

wake up in the mourning feeling like P.Diddy

 

[RHCP]

Good mourning to you.

 

[Didgi]

Is it currently afternoon? Or the second morning? Or just a continuation of the first morning? I want to know what conditions are like in NSW currently.

Is IanG advising the public that the current NSW team is 'horseshit, it's all horseshit people'?