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Juniors
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Nursing a slight hangover from an extended Monday Lunch at the Ashfield RSL, I woke mid afternoon, tired and devoid of inspiration. During my career at Oberon rising from a night on the tiles was a lot easier. The Local rags were usually gushing in their praise of my performance and the walk to the milk bar ensured plenty of pats on the back. There was always the odd heckler daring to question that my 74 metres from 12 runs was mediocre and I was overpaid essentially a bush toiler. I told him I wasn't John Simon and I didn't quit on my last game whilst 14 pounds over weight, kicking goals at 42% and 64-0 behind on a Thurday Night in 2001.
I woke, fed up with Western Football Tigers and the direction that the 4 wise men had compassed them towards. I rang up Steven Rodger Noyce and left a short but sharp voice mail. Normallly I remain a relatively mild manned man but I didn’t mince my words duting my 14 minute tirade directed towards the man that has minced up our home games like he was grating cheese for one of Ronalds mid morning office snacks.
Put simply, I demanded that he stop whoring out home games for $75 profit or my support was in jeopardy. I warned him of how I had cut ties with previous supported clubs Gold Coast (1995-96) and Cowboys (1997-1999) and was on the brink. I warned him that the club can’t afford to lose loyal and passionate supporters of my ilk, with past playing experience at a high level. Whilst I only attended 2 WT matches in 2007 I was glued to the wireless for the first 12 minutes of most fixtures before hammering it down after Steven Clark’s 5th penalty for hands in the ruck, sinking plenty of piss and only finding out the final score in Thursdays Big League by circumnavigating my way through the NRL Premiership Ladder
However a rare ray of light loomed late on this stormy Tuesday. I am lead to believe The Tigers have set a press conference at Camp Concord tomorrow for a "Major Announcment". Whilst the Mod Squad are doing their level best to patrol the forums, I sense emergency meetings will be to no avail and rare information will be unravelled from the deep beneath the bunkers of Camp Concord. The normal policy of censorship is under threat. Cuzzo's weekly articles regarding John Morris helping removing sharp twigs from the homeless mans enclosure at Hyde Park may also be on the back burner for this special Wednesday.
I was so excited. The Tigers have not had a major annocment since offering to re name the grand stand after Nick Kosef should he sign a lucrative deal back in 1997. This got me thinking of the 6 or 7 genuine possibilities Wednesday might bring with it
No 1 - That Turd Payten's dubious Mo earnt $76 during Movember. This has given the prudent Noyce the extra funds needed to give Leichhardt Oval one extra home game in 2009
No 2 - That the waddling Warren Mcdonnel has volunteered to represent the club during the 40 hour famine on the strict premise that he be given his regular $4 Bangers and Mash for free for the remainder of the 2008 season at Ctown Leagues.
No 3 - That Mark O’Neill is releasing a tell all book named 'Buckets of Blood, Crabs of Fire, where he makes several revolutionary diagrams about the art of 45 degree running and 5.7 yard inquisitions into the defence. In this book he also makes the asounding and shocking claims that Tommy Shines demanded to be called ‘Coach Shines” and he has only won 40% of games in 1996. This came as a major shock to renound media.
No 4 - That two packets a day Moods has been rejected once more from the Fire Squad and he is trialing with the Magpies
No 5 - That John Elias has offered Free Kebab Rolls and a voucher to Strathfield Park Paintball for any Lebenese supporter boycotting Tigers games in 2008 after the Tigers refusal to release R Farah to play for Labanon in World Cup Qualifiers
No 6 - The revival of the Sirro Six Deal. The Sirro Six deal was offered to Balmain fans in 1999. Struggling for crowds, normal entry to Leichhardt Oval was reduced was $10 per match, and $120 for all 12 games. The Sirro Six offered 6 games for those less willing fans at the sumptuous price of $69.95. The deal is being revived under the banner of the Heighto High 5. Instead of getting the normal 5 Telstra Games for $90 buck you get it for $96.95 plus an old smelly pair of Turd Paytens bike pants, the ones he wore in the 26-24 debacle to Newcastle.
No 7 – That the players and staff have agreed upon a promotional set up for sponsors. That 3 players, each week, on a rotational basis will be driving UD Trucks to interstate games in 2008 as part of Noyce cost cutting measures in 2008.
No 8 - Half price Tigers jerseys for any Panthers season ticket holders
Oh the possibilities.
I woke, fed up with Western Football Tigers and the direction that the 4 wise men had compassed them towards. I rang up Steven Rodger Noyce and left a short but sharp voice mail. Normallly I remain a relatively mild manned man but I didn’t mince my words duting my 14 minute tirade directed towards the man that has minced up our home games like he was grating cheese for one of Ronalds mid morning office snacks.
Put simply, I demanded that he stop whoring out home games for $75 profit or my support was in jeopardy. I warned him of how I had cut ties with previous supported clubs Gold Coast (1995-96) and Cowboys (1997-1999) and was on the brink. I warned him that the club can’t afford to lose loyal and passionate supporters of my ilk, with past playing experience at a high level. Whilst I only attended 2 WT matches in 2007 I was glued to the wireless for the first 12 minutes of most fixtures before hammering it down after Steven Clark’s 5th penalty for hands in the ruck, sinking plenty of piss and only finding out the final score in Thursdays Big League by circumnavigating my way through the NRL Premiership Ladder
However a rare ray of light loomed late on this stormy Tuesday. I am lead to believe The Tigers have set a press conference at Camp Concord tomorrow for a "Major Announcment". Whilst the Mod Squad are doing their level best to patrol the forums, I sense emergency meetings will be to no avail and rare information will be unravelled from the deep beneath the bunkers of Camp Concord. The normal policy of censorship is under threat. Cuzzo's weekly articles regarding John Morris helping removing sharp twigs from the homeless mans enclosure at Hyde Park may also be on the back burner for this special Wednesday.
I was so excited. The Tigers have not had a major annocment since offering to re name the grand stand after Nick Kosef should he sign a lucrative deal back in 1997. This got me thinking of the 6 or 7 genuine possibilities Wednesday might bring with it
No 1 - That Turd Payten's dubious Mo earnt $76 during Movember. This has given the prudent Noyce the extra funds needed to give Leichhardt Oval one extra home game in 2009
No 2 - That the waddling Warren Mcdonnel has volunteered to represent the club during the 40 hour famine on the strict premise that he be given his regular $4 Bangers and Mash for free for the remainder of the 2008 season at Ctown Leagues.
No 3 - That Mark O’Neill is releasing a tell all book named 'Buckets of Blood, Crabs of Fire, where he makes several revolutionary diagrams about the art of 45 degree running and 5.7 yard inquisitions into the defence. In this book he also makes the asounding and shocking claims that Tommy Shines demanded to be called ‘Coach Shines” and he has only won 40% of games in 1996. This came as a major shock to renound media.
No 4 - That two packets a day Moods has been rejected once more from the Fire Squad and he is trialing with the Magpies
No 5 - That John Elias has offered Free Kebab Rolls and a voucher to Strathfield Park Paintball for any Lebenese supporter boycotting Tigers games in 2008 after the Tigers refusal to release R Farah to play for Labanon in World Cup Qualifiers
No 6 - The revival of the Sirro Six Deal. The Sirro Six deal was offered to Balmain fans in 1999. Struggling for crowds, normal entry to Leichhardt Oval was reduced was $10 per match, and $120 for all 12 games. The Sirro Six offered 6 games for those less willing fans at the sumptuous price of $69.95. The deal is being revived under the banner of the Heighto High 5. Instead of getting the normal 5 Telstra Games for $90 buck you get it for $96.95 plus an old smelly pair of Turd Paytens bike pants, the ones he wore in the 26-24 debacle to Newcastle.
No 7 – That the players and staff have agreed upon a promotional set up for sponsors. That 3 players, each week, on a rotational basis will be driving UD Trucks to interstate games in 2008 as part of Noyce cost cutting measures in 2008.
No 8 - Half price Tigers jerseys for any Panthers season ticket holders
Oh the possibilities.
