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Choose Your Own Adventure - The Adventures of Biff Manfist

Misanthrope

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
47,604
In an effort to write creatively more often, I thought it would be fun to do a kind of interactive story on here ala the old Choose Your Own Adventure Books.

Here's how it works. I post what's going on in the world around the main character, and then a series of potential actions the main character could take. You all vote on one of those actions OR you can vote for an action of your own devising and hope the other posters rally behind it. The action with the most votes at the time that I begin writing the next post will be the one taken. Updates will be however often I can manage.

Sometimes there will be multiple things to vote on in a single post. Everyone gets one vote per thing to vote on.

In addition to voting, anyone can post ">What do I know about [x]?" to extract in-character information that the main character would know.

As the story progresses, your decisions will not only influence the events, but also the strengths and weaknesses of the legendary Biff Manfist, adventurer and ladies man.


The Character

You are Biff Manfist, a dashingly handsome and well muscled figure with a flowing golden mullet. Beyond that, he is clay to be shaped by your votes.

The Setting

A generic fantasy world of knights, dragons, and buxom wenches where there are dungeons begging to be explored and princesses crying out for a good, hard... rescuing.

-------------

You wake with a start to the sound of a rooster crowing. Glancing about your surroundings, you notice you are...

Choice 1

  • ...on the tavern floor in a pool of what you hope is your own vomit.
    ...in a comfortable feather bed with a buxon wench nestled in the crook of your arm.
    ...sleeping in your bedroll in the shelter of a fallen tree somewhere in the wilds of the Tanglewood.
    ...in the rocking, shaking bed of a wagon en route to the capital, Freelance.
    ...in what appears to be a coffin.
    ...hanging upside from a wooden cross while a woman in leather regards you hungrily.
    ...in the living room of a family of confused and increasingly agitated halflings.
    ...in a piss-reeking jail cell.

You can't recall how you came to be here, but you do remember you were supposed to meet somebody last night. Who was it again?

Choice 2

  • The mayor of a village in dire need of Biff Manfist's special brand of violent problem-solving.
    The recently widowed wife of a former adventuring companion who wanted you to investigate her husband's mysterious death.
    A couple of your old buddies from the war to discuss a big score.
    A whore with missing teeth and what she described as "some worrying news".
    A morbidly obese merchant who needed your help beefing up security.
    Walter Wittlesworth the 3rd, Archduke of Coffs Melbourne and Famed Rabbit Rancher.
    Your sidekick and illegitimate son, Murphy.

Nothing to see here just yet. This will take shape as the story progresses
 

afinalsin666

First Grade
Messages
8,163
This has potential :lol:

----------------------------------------------------

Pissy cell seeking the Great Archduke of Coffs.
 

KeepingTheFaith

Referee
Messages
25,235
Colour me intrigued. I'm going to throw out some curveballs, just because I know the more ideas that get thrown the more it will force Mis to think about different possible angles and that will help develop his writing even more regardless of whether they're used or not.

Choice 1
Wake up face down in mud on the bank of the rivers edge

Choice 2
You were supposed to meet your best friend who claimed to know who murdered your father
 
Messages
23,955
1\ ...on the tavern floor in a pool of what you hope is your own vomit.

2\ Walter Wittlesworth the 3rd, Archduke of Coffs Melbourne and Famed Rabbit Rancher.
 

9701

First Grade
Messages
5,400
choice 1 =hanging upside from a wooden cross while a woman in leather regards you hungrily.

Choice 2 = Walter Wittlesworth the 3rd, Archduke of Coffs Melbourne and Famed Rabbit Rancher.
 

Misanthrope

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
47,604
You wake with a start to the sound of a rooster crowing. Glancing about your surroundings, you notice you are in a piss reeking jail cell.

How did I get here? you think to yourself. Your last clear memory was entering the tavern to speak with Lord Walter Whittlesworth the 3rd about some recent raids on his prized rabbit farm.

Glancing around blearily, you see you're not alone in your cell. You share it with...

Choice One

  • ...a naked Orc who makes steely eye contact as he continues to stroke his swollen slug.
    ...a wise old man who coolly shuffles a deck of cards as he watches you.
    ...what appears to be a dismembered corpse.
    ...a burly Ogre and the halfling he keeps on a leash.
    ...a trio of Goblins playing dice.
    ...Sir Galahalot, the most handsome man you've ever seen outside of your own mirror.

In a moment of panic, you reach into the pouch you wear at your belt. Your gold is all gone, but you feel one thing still attached to your belt. It is...

Choice Two

  • ...Skullcleaver, your trusty battle axe of skull cleaving.
    ...your Holy Symbol dedicated to Bodhivista, the Goddess of Mercy.
    ...your sweet collection of ninja stars.
    ...a simple sap you use to convince uncooperative witnesses.
    ...the monogrammed handkerchief your mother gave you when you left home.
    ...a bloody dagger.
    ...several dozen feet of hemp rope.
    ...Your familiar, an ill-tempered Seagull named Steven.
 
Last edited:

Misanthrope

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
47,604
"I thought you'd never wake up," grinned Sir Galahalot as he stretched languidly in his chair, cracking his knuckles and his neck.

Your hand quickly finds Steven Seagull, who squawks in agitation at being so rudely awakened.

"What are you going to do with that?" Galahalot asks archly, raising an eyebrow at your choice of weapon.

You rack your brain trying to think of the last time your paths crossed with Sir Galahalot. It was...

Choice One



  • ...the King's Tourney a few months ago after he'd bested you in the melee.
    ...at your wedding, right before he'd absconded with your bride to be.
    ...in a Seluvian whorehouse over a shisha pipe and a pair of nubile Jade girls.
    ...at the conclusion of a months long journey into the Caverns of Dread.
    ...when you were both children and aspiring adventurers out to conquer the world.
    ...while working undercover in an women's dormitory. He'd looked stellar in bloomers and a curly red wig.
    ...with your blade at his throat and the oath you'd kill him if ever your paths crossed again.

You haven't got time to formulate your response before a ruckus outside startles you both. It sounds like...


Choice 2

  • ...a dragon swooping low over the city to dowse it with flames.
    ...an armed battalion of soldiers approaching on horseback.
    ...the unmistakably gravelly chuckling of Desouza, Demon Prince of Carnage and Lawyers.
    ...a coop full of chickens being startled by a fox or cat.
    ...Cassamaneer throat singers.
    ...the mournful tolling of funeral bells.
    ...the deep, ominous rumbling of an earthquake.
    ...the incomprehensible ranting of a madman.
 
Messages
23,955
...while working undercover in an women's dormitory. He'd looked stellar in bloomers and a curly red wig.

...the unmistakably gravelly chuckling of Desouza, Demon Prince of Carnage and Lawyers.
 

Hoggmaster

Juniors
Messages
2,231
...with your blade at his throat and the oath you'd kill him if ever your paths crossed again.

...the unmistakably gravelly chuckling of Desouza, Demon Prince of Carnage and Lawyers.
 
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