themanonthehill
Bench
- Messages
- 4,743
I am very fearful of this weekend. Within our ranks we have 2 traitors, each plotting our downfall from within. These treacherous, traitorious insiders are threatening to derail our season. I have decided to publicly out them on LU and name them:
1. Royce Simmons.
Far from the public persona Royce portrays as a lovable, gnome like ocker, Royce is in fact a cold, calculating, conniving, career oriented shark. Royce has 2 reasons for wanting us to lose this weekend. A Newcastle win will, in all likelihood, mean that the spoon heads to Penrith. The minute this happens Royce will be on his Commodore 64 updating the `Achievements' section of his CV to include `not the only coach to have steered Penrith to a spoon since 2000'. He will then send an sms to Noyce advising him to check the PO box at COncord. Royce's updated CV will be attached with a crayon written letter telling all and sundry Sheens is past it and that Royce is the man to take the Tigers forward, leaving his good mate unemployed (again)
2. John Morris
John still has a soft spot for Newcastle. They are the club that gave him a start andthe club that identified his talents as a Chalmers-esque, Fitzy-esque, Scott Mahon-esque winger and he owes them a debt in his mind. John couldn't bear to see Newcastle collect the spoon, especially seeing as they are coached by his good mate Brian Smith. The visionary that moved Morris to 5-8 and the man who holds a place in Johnny's heart. I have it on good authority that John Morris will kick poorly, never pass when he has an overlap, get tackled every time he runs it and generally look feeble.
Ladies and gentlemen these 2 infiltrators in our ranks must be stopped if we are to make the finals and to ensure that our supercoach, the man who has won us 44% of games, the man who has won almost 40% of games since 1996 is retained. We need to unite for Shines and ensure this skullduggery does not jeopardise the 5 year contract extension that sits on Noyce's desk, freshly printed from Noyce's dot matrix printer connected to his AMIGA 128
1. Royce Simmons.
Far from the public persona Royce portrays as a lovable, gnome like ocker, Royce is in fact a cold, calculating, conniving, career oriented shark. Royce has 2 reasons for wanting us to lose this weekend. A Newcastle win will, in all likelihood, mean that the spoon heads to Penrith. The minute this happens Royce will be on his Commodore 64 updating the `Achievements' section of his CV to include `not the only coach to have steered Penrith to a spoon since 2000'. He will then send an sms to Noyce advising him to check the PO box at COncord. Royce's updated CV will be attached with a crayon written letter telling all and sundry Sheens is past it and that Royce is the man to take the Tigers forward, leaving his good mate unemployed (again)
2. John Morris
John still has a soft spot for Newcastle. They are the club that gave him a start andthe club that identified his talents as a Chalmers-esque, Fitzy-esque, Scott Mahon-esque winger and he owes them a debt in his mind. John couldn't bear to see Newcastle collect the spoon, especially seeing as they are coached by his good mate Brian Smith. The visionary that moved Morris to 5-8 and the man who holds a place in Johnny's heart. I have it on good authority that John Morris will kick poorly, never pass when he has an overlap, get tackled every time he runs it and generally look feeble.
Ladies and gentlemen these 2 infiltrators in our ranks must be stopped if we are to make the finals and to ensure that our supercoach, the man who has won us 44% of games, the man who has won almost 40% of games since 1996 is retained. We need to unite for Shines and ensure this skullduggery does not jeopardise the 5 year contract extension that sits on Noyce's desk, freshly printed from Noyce's dot matrix printer connected to his AMIGA 128
