Life purpose much bigger than footy for former Dragons star Dan Hunt
Local Sport
BIG PICTURE: former Dragons player Dan Hunt has turned his past battle with mental illness into a new life purpose with The Mental Health Movement. Picture: Sylvia Liber.
TAKE a look at any professional sporting team, in particular a successful one, they'll all have a glue guy. More often than not he's the joker, capable of taking the superstar down a peg or two when its needed.
Those in the know will tell you having a good glue guy is as important as your superstar. Few are more in the know than seven-time premiership-winner Wayne Bennett.
He certainly knew what he had in Dan Hunt at the Dragons and how important he was, even in a roster loaded with stars. His teammates did to, though even those close to him weren't always sure which 'Bubsy' would turn up.
"I was always up and down, since I was a kid," Hunt, now three years into retirement, recalls.
"Some days I'd come into training and be the joker and the life of the party, I'd train well, I'd play well. Other days I'd come in and I couldn't even have a conversation with someone.
"I'd be down, I'd isolate myself, I'd train poorly, I'd play poorly. I didn't know what was going on. I just thought I was angry or down because we were losing or I wasn't playing well or whatever it was.
"I just had that mentality 'get over it, get on with it, stop being weak'. I guess I thought if I did talk about, if I did put my hand up for help back then I was weak, I wasn't a man or I wouldn't get picked in the side. I just kept it to myself."
It didn't show on the park, at least initially. He debuted in first grade at 20 in 2007 and, after playing 68 games in his first three NRL seasons, was knocking on the door of rep footy.
Deep in that week to week grind he was able to bury whatever else was going on in his head. In an environment where your every waking minute is accounted for, it's handy place to bury your head.
However, when serious injury struck for the first time in 2010, the mirrored walls of the rehab room spoke louder, with no crowd, no whistles, no teammates to drown out the noise between his ears.
"I used to live inside my head," Hunt said.
"They say the average Australian has about 60-80,000 thoughts a day. They say that 80 per cent of those are negative and 80 per cent of them you had yesterday.
"I reckon I was having 160,000 thoughts a day and 90 per cent of them were negative. You can imagine how much that's going affect your perception and the way you interact with the world.
"The self-doubt, the fear the anger, the isolation. How do you explain something to someone else when you don't understand it yourself?"
That period also introduced him to painkillers which, along with alcohol, became the only thing that turned the volume down.
"It all came to a head in 2010," Hunt said.
"I was playing my best footy in 2010, I'd started every game that year, we were favourites to win the premiership, we were coached by Wayne Bennett and we were flying.
"In round 20 at WIN Stadium, I turned in the warm up and ruptured my Achilles. I was out for the next 12 months. I had to watch my team go on and win the grand final and I went and had my first surgery.
"Everything came crashing down, stuff from my past, my upbringing, stuff I'd just swept under the carpet. I just didn't know how to handle it, or what was going on.
"With surgery you take painkillers to take away the physical pain, I began to take them to take away the emotional pain. It was self-medication because I didn't know how to deal with what was going on in my head.
"In 2010 there was a period that I took that many pain killers... I didn't want to be here. I remember waking up the next day and being so grateful that I was still here, but I just wanted an escape because I was in pain."
After what he now understands was a lifelong struggle, he'd become adept at pulling on the mask that hid the inner turmoil.
STELLAR: Dan Hunt played 150 NRL games in a nine-year career. Picture: Steve Christo
It was effective for a long time, but Bennett has always had a knack of seeing what others can't - particularly in matters nothing to do with footy.
"One thing I've learned the hard way is that you can't force someone to seek support," Hunt said.
"They've got to go through it themselves and find their own catalyst. Sometimes people never do. For me it wasn't my upbringing, it wasn't the injuries, it wasn't the addiction, my catalyst came down to two conversations.
"One was with my mum just checking in, coming over and just asking was I OK. It was killing her seeing me like that. Hearing your mum say that is powerful because you have a different look at yourself and how much you're actually struggling.
"The other one was with Wayne Bennett. He sat me down and said 'I can see that you're struggling and it's not easy, I just want you to know I'm here for you and is there anything I can do for you?'
"He created that safe environment where you felt comfortable enough to talk about it. That was the first time in my life that I took off the mask, I took off the brave face, and just let it all out.
"I shared stuff with him that I hadn't shared with anyone, that I'd been struggling with for a long time. There were no answers or solutions with any of that it just gave me some clarity."
With clarity came an insatiable thirst for answers, a journey that began with a visit to The Black Dog Institute, one of Australia's leading mental health research and treatment organisations.
The result was a diagnosis of Bipolar II, a mood disorder in which those affected experience brief periods of "hypomania" or elevated mood and longer depressive episodes.
Undiagnosed and untreated, it can be life-destroying for those battling it and the people who love them. However, as Hunt would learn, diagnosed and treated, it can become a blessing in disguise.
"I spent four hours up there with a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I went through things from my past, my relationships, my personality, my moods, the ups and downs, all this stuff over my whole life," Hunt recalls
"I was diagnosed me with Bipolar II which I now look at as a positive, now I know how to manage it and I've got my good support networks in place.
"Back then I did battle a fair bit post-diagnosis because I was still learning and getting treatment. It was when I got educated the tide started to turn.
"It took me 18 months to get back on the footy field mentally and physically healthy. I ended up playing 150 games throughout my career which I'm really proud of.
"During that time I went and studied at university and TAFE, counselling, social work, mental health, alcohol and other drugs, community services.
"I studied a range of things because I wanted to know more about, not just my own health and mental illness, but have the qualifications and credibility to help other people."
It was a new passion, but it remained a side project amid the demands of an NRL career that continued to have its ups and downs.
Hunt underwent 10 further surgeries that limited him to just 15 games in his final two seasons, including a frustrating 10 weeks between game number 149 and 150 in 2014.
It caught up with him the following preseason when he re-injured his knee at the Auckland Nines. Two different surgeons told him he'd be lucky to run again, let alone play elite level rugby league.
LAST CALL: Dan Hunt with wife Nadeen as he announced his retirement in 2015. Picture: Adam McLean
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