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Diary of a Brisvegas summer....author unknown!

chileman

Coach
Messages
10,523
The Diary of a Brisbane/Queensland SUMMER


August 31st: - Just got transferred with work into our new home in Brisbane!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:- Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th: - Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of Palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th:- The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do People get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th: - Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th: - Forgot the kids caught a cane toad at footy practice last night. Must have left it in the car. Should have checked before I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, it had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. The car now smells like a sewer. I learned my lesson though. I'll check for cane toads every morning.

October 25th: - This wind sucks! It feels like a giant blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th: - Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Spent $450,000 on this stupid house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th: - It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

November 8th: - If another wise guy cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked toad!!

November 9th: - Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my backside was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs, as well as my buttocks! Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried backside, and baked toad.

November 10th: - The weather report might as well be a blasted
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the stupid pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th: - Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail me out of jail for assulting the repairman. Brisbane!
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st: - WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? Ya kiddin
me!!!! :D
 
Messages
13,054
LMAO classic. I cant imagine what it would be like to be in that kinda heat every single day. I'd probably pass out, hit my head on the concrete and render myself unconscious. Then die of dehydration while im knocked out.

25 is an absolute scorcher to us kiwis. That's shirtless weather. actually anything over 20 is.
 

SpaceMonkey

Immortal
Messages
41,416
DIG said:
LMAO classic. I cant imagine what it would be like to be in that kinda heat every single day. I'd probably pass out, hit my head on the concrete and render myself unconscious. Then die of dehydration while im knocked out.

25 is an absolute scorcher to us kiwis. That's shirtless weather. actually anything over 20 is.
Where the hell do you live, Invercargill?
I grew up in the Eastern Bay of Plenty and while it certainly wasn't as hot as over here we didn't call it hot unless it was pushing 30, and it got past 35 on occaision.

By the way I saw that same story but it was "summer in Darwin" and all the temperatures were 5 degrees hotter!
 

chileman

Coach
Messages
10,523
SpaceMonkey said:
By the way I saw that same story but it was "summer in Darwin" and all the temperatures were 5 degrees hotter!
I swear, whenever I look at the temperature forecast for Darwin it's always 33 degrees...I don't think they really care and just say that to fill in time :lol:
 

incredible_holc

Juniors
Messages
1,419
Chileman what you have just said is so true, for some reason it is always bloody 33 degrees, i dont know what they do!!!! any ideas?
 

Anonymous

Juniors
Messages
46
chileman said:
SpaceMonkey said:
By the way I saw that same story but it was "summer in Darwin" and all the temperatures were 5 degrees hotter!
I swear, whenever I look at the temperature forecast for Darwin it's always 33 degrees...I don't think they really care and just say that to fill in time :lol:

They should just change 33 to a picture of a man with an akubra hat and a caption that says 'Bloody Hot Mate'
 
Messages
13,054
SpaceMonkey said:
DIG said:
LMAO classic. I cant imagine what it would be like to be in that kinda heat every single day. I'd probably pass out, hit my head on the concrete and render myself unconscious. Then die of dehydration while im knocked out.

25 is an absolute scorcher to us kiwis. That's shirtless weather. actually anything over 20 is.
Where the hell do you live, Invercargill?
I grew up in the Eastern Bay of Plenty and while it certainly wasn't as hot as over here we didn't call it hot unless it was pushing 30, and it got past 35 on occaision.

By the way I saw that same story but it was "summer in Darwin" and all the temperatures were 5 degrees hotter!

Windy Wellington my friend. East Side Porirua to be exact. The hottest Ive ever been in my life is 32 I think..but im not sure.
 

Andy

First Grade
Messages
5,048
I was up at Lake St. Claire just outside Singleton on Saturday for the barefoot ski drag races.

At just before 3pm the mercury tipped at 48 degrees celcius!

No wonder I thought I was dying :shock:
 

SpaceMonkey

Immortal
Messages
41,416
DIG said:
oh and the coldest weather I've ever been in is -4 degrees.
Ah that makes sense. You lot in Wellington have it hard, the wind tends to make sure the temperature never gets over 25 max. But thats a Wellinton thing, a lot of the rest of the country gets some decent heat in summer!
Still -4 isn't too bad for cold, I was in Queenstown one winter and one night it dropped to -16! Yet only a few months later I was working only 50km away in Cromwell in 38 degree heat, prett amazing that the one small area of the country can have a temperature variation of 54 degrees!!
 

The Colonel

Immortal
Messages
41,992
My dad owns a mine up near Lightning Ridge - about 50 minutes drive or so out at a place called Grawin. We were up there for a week once and it didn't drop below 45 during the whole week. On two of the days it was well over 50 in the shade - and yes you can cook eggs on a shovel without fire in that sort of heat! It was ok for dad down in the mine but we had to load the dump truck to go over to wash what he took out.

We used to sleep down in the mine at night cos it was too hot at night - only dropped to around 30.

The stupid thing is in winter it drops down to minus temperatures at night sometimes.
 

chileman

Coach
Messages
10,523
t-ba the hutt said:
-30 to 43 in one week.

Try and get adjusted to that :lol: .
Well it wasn't that extreme but leaving Kano in Nigeria at a warm 41 degrees I made the 9 hour flight back to the UK and stepped out of Heathrow to be greeted by snow and -9 degrees....I didn't see to many brass monkeys walking around :p
 

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