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Fave snacks during footy

Gary Gutful

Post Whore
Messages
52,963
A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!” Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
 

parra pete

Referee
Messages
20,659
Mate of mine has issued a timely warning. Told me that he went into Bunnings and a bloke in a green uniform asked him if he wanted decking.
He said fortunately he got the first punch in and that was that. But, he warned, others might not be as lucky, so be on your guard.
 

Gazzamatta

Coach
Messages
15,633
The same receptionist, trying to determine which suite would be most suitable then asks if the newly weds, "would you like the bridal" to which the young bride replys, "no thanks". "I'll just hold on to his ears till I get the hang on it".
 

TheParraboy

Moderator
Staff member
Messages
68,236
A elderly male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse” he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I dont know, sir Im only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She looks very closely and says, “Theres nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very very closely: ARE MY TEST RESULTS BACK?

:smiley::smiley::smiley::smiley:
 

Bandwagon

Super Moderator
Staff member
Messages
44,875
A panda walks into a bar and gobbles some beer nuts. Then he pulls out a gun, fires it in the air, and heads for the door. “Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda. Google me!” Sure enough, panda: “A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

That bartender should be thankful the panda wasn't a wombat.
 

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