Financial Advise

[pixie nipples]

In honour of my late husband, I am starting this thread to give financial advise to those of you which need it.

Please don't hesitate to ask for my advise on any financial matters, I am more than happy to assist you with advise based on my personal experiences

 

[madunit]

I am in dire need of about 16.8 million dollars. How do I do this?

 

[Choppies]

be a Skase

 

[pixie nipples]

Young man, in this instance I would strongly suggest you find yourself a financially secure partner, move all accounts offshore under your own name (swiss bank accounts are best) and then leave the country

 

[madunit]

Thanks pixie, is there any other ways to achieve this goal, as I happen to be an ugly bastard and the rich chicks are already taken.

 

[pixie nipples]

I understand. Life must be more challenging for those of the world who can't rely on their looks to get them by.

In your case you should perhaps try and start up a business that provides shares at a good price.
You need to advertise these shares increase their value. Buy smaller companies out so that the shares become more valuable, then when the business is at its peak and worth 16.8 million dollars, declare yourself bankrupt and disappear over seas to a tax free safe have

 

[madunit]

Thanks pixie, the smartest you've said so far!

 

[pixie nipples]

You're a sweet young man, I hope my advise is helpful. Good luck

 

[Evilgrowler]

LOL she called you sweet. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Raider_69]

ok i got 23 hundred
i want to make that 23 billion by age 20
im 17 now

in EXACTLY 3 steps how do i acheive such a goal

 

[Agent Mulder]

I wanna be Rich so i don't have to work anymore.
How can i do this?

 

[That Guy]

I too can help you with financial advice.

I am currently the financial advisor to my friend Cory and also to my transexual P dealer Ronny.





They are both doing very well.

 

[Le Rouge]

I sell my body to the ladies and i use that money to invest in the stockmarket.
I recieve great financial advise from Rene Rivkin he seems to know what he's doing. He tells me where to invest and they increase within days, its amazing. I don't know how he does it. It's like he knows they are going to increase or something

 

[Sweeper]

Rene Rivkin he seems to know what he's doing.

Umm... he's convicted insider trader and has a nine month weekend detention sentence. He doesn't know what he's doing! (Although ASIC unfairly targeted him.) Also the Swiss bank account saga... not someone to be following. I say do as Kerry Packer does.

But money doesn't buy happiness.

 

[Bobby DIGital]

Pixie I wanna get into property development in my future....how can I go about doing this effectively?

 

[knights04]

I only have $0.65 to my name and I'm saving up for a cruise which is around $70000 a night. How can I achieve this?

 

[Le Rouge]

Umm... he's convicted insider trader and has a nine month weekend detention sentence. He doesn't know what he's doing! (Although ASIC unfairly targeted him.) Also the Swiss bank account saga... not someone to be following. I say do as Kerry Packer does.

But money doesn't buy happiness.

You obviously didn't pick up the point of my post :lol:

 

[Twizzle]

I only have $0.65 to my name and I'm saving up for a cruise which is around $70000 a night. How can I achieve this?

Keep saving.

 

[Sweeper]

You obviously didn't pick up the point of my post :lol:

Sure, but you also look at his private boat with heli pad.... and helicopter and all the other little goodies... he knows what he's doing. To go to gaol over a couple of hundred dollars... it really is nothing to him (lunch) and he sold the shares before he could benefit from the information he obtained. If ASIC were to persue all cases of insider traders who made a couple of hundred dollars on a dodgy deal... Rene wouldn't be facing the courts for decades!

 

[Jimbo]

Are you PS146 compliant?