Ok, i haven't had a lot of time for this one and i'm not too sure about it. it's not my usual style but i'm in a fowl mood and this came out when i sat down t' write. opinions?
By George!
Georgie porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry
when the boys came out to play, Georgie porgie ran away
I hate Georges. My first recollection of a George that got up my nose was a JNR, as in George
. JNR. And god help anyone who forgot the little snots JNR. He rode a dragster with a fluro orange chopper flag attached to it and spokie dokies in the wheels. The bike had been suped up with 12 speeds and George JNR thought he was all that, plus some. But George JNR wasnt cool enough to ride that sort of bike. If hed been six, sure enough, but you need some real mojo happening to get away with it at 14, in 1985 and little George JNR, Mayors son just didnt have it. I secretly harboured homicidal thoughts towards him, praying his polyester slacks would get caught on a spokie dokie and hed be thrown head first into the path of an oncoming truck
Annoying George, the second was a Doctor that entered my life in Saudi Arabia. When our compound would head into the rec hall to emulate state of origin games, George the II would volunteer to be a touchie. One couldnt fart on the court without George II flapping his arms around. The first time I witnessed it, I thought the man was having some sort of epileptic fit but no, it was just George II being a wanker of epic proportions. No game was allowed to flow and if anybody dared get a wee tad serious and actually tackle, George II would remind us all of the consequences of what a hard court surface might do to our finely tuned athletic bodies. George II never gained entry on my hit list, however, until our coveted fractioning column still, known for producing alcohol around 95% pure, disappeared from the bowels of the compounds main building one August evening. Never screw with a bunch of Australian and kiwi nurses only guaranteed alcohol supply in a dry country. I admit I stalked George II; I hid his doctoring equipment and prayed that one day I would have the opportunity to shove his gay pink stethoscope up his date
George III was a fling. A good solid boy, with a bit of league talent to burn. He went into camp with the local barter card cup franchise, but was sent home after failing the drug test. George III turned out to be an impotent idiot whose penchant for dope, ice and alcohol saw a talented player turn into a drooling gimp following driving his car, loaded, into the local pubs wall at full speed after doing donuts in the parking lot. I felt bad
initially
as Id had a plethora of ghastly thoughts about him and had considered purchasing a voodoo doll and sticking pins in its nether regions. But I soon got over it and dreamed of meeting George III on a pedestrian crossing in my car
George IV has been in my life longer than I care to remember. I never invited this man into my life, he just turned up one day and, like a fly, proceeded to lay his puerile maggot filth on everything rugby league, I care about. Now, Im not generally a violent or nasty person but George IV
hell, he deserves to be impaled upon a set of wooden spoons. Ive got a fair idea that he owns his very own collection so that would alleviate the need to take any with me. You see, George IV is a blithering, blundering idiot, who, every time he opens his mouth, drags the game I love down. Now one would think that impaling George IV on a set of spoons wouldnt help my case of getting him to shut the **** up but, seeing as this man talks through a hole in his arse, impalement will do nicely thank you. I fantasise about taking this man deep sea diving, being the friendly sort that I am, and testing my spoons buoyancy hypothesis...bottoms up. I covet five minutes in room with George IV; Ive always fancied what sort of tune I could rip out with a set of spoons inserted into soft tissue. Take a bow, George IV. You sir, are the biggest George of all.
No offence to the nice Georges of this world. Im going to take 20mgs of diazepam now and have a lie down.
742 words
Not enough league content? :lol:
