Funniest Simpsons lines ever

[joshie]

Homer decides to enlist the help of a local vigilante.

Man: Now don't you fret. When I'm through, he won't set foot in this
town again. I can be very, _very_ persuasive. [reloads his gun]
[Scene change to a bar]
Man: [whining] C'mon, leave town!
Bob: No.
Man: I'll be your friend?
Bob: No.
Man: Aw, you're mean!

:lol:

One of my favourites haha

 

[Bulldog Force]

In the episode where Bart was caught shoplifting (one of my Xmas favs), Homer discussing his punishment with Marge:

Homer: Ok, I've figured out the boys punishment. Firstly, he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Secondly, no eggnog. In fact, no nog, period! And last, absolutely no shoplifting for 3 months!

 

[whall15]

Oh look! It's Hamer!

 

[Scott Gourley's Lovechild]

Watching that on 10 now too. So many great lines in this episode!

 

[whall15]

Yeah that's where I got it from.

 

[Rhino_NQ]

 

[Rhino_NQ]

 

[Bulldog Force]

Oh look! It's Hamer!

Which ep is that from?

 

[Zoidberg]

I think the cat burglar one.

 

[whall15]

Yeah.

 

[shaggs]

How's that curse, I cursed you with,..... Curstie

 

[Rhino_NQ]

Lisa to Chief Wiggum 'That's not a story suitable for children"

Chief Wiggum "Really? i keep my pants on in this version"

 

[ggmu]

Grandpa watching the superbowl Joe Nammeh walks on field.
Grampa: "Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas, there's a haircut you could set your watch to."

 

[ggmu]

Grampa: "Now! Hey, listen! Now, my story begins in 19 dickety two. We had to say dickety 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles."

Martin: "Dickety? Highly dubious!"

 

[Buzzard Breath]

Not going through 45 pages but has this one been brought up?
Chief Wiggum: Good luck, Ralphy. If your nose starts bleeding, it means you're picking it too much. Or not enough.

 

[t-ba]

 

[Bulldog Force]

Johnny Unitas - Real vs Simpsons

The Haircut is uncanny!

 

[Danish]

Grampa: "Now! Hey, listen! Now, my story begins in 19 dickety two. We had to say dickety 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles."

Martin: "Dickety? Highly dubious!"

What are you laughing at tubby? Too much pie, thats your problem

 

[Danish]

Johnny Unitas - Real vs Simpsons

The Haircut is uncanny!

Unitas' cameo on the krusty network hawking a womens razor is the best...

"Its Krusterrific Johnny Unitas. But is my lip supposed to bleed like this?

"Probably!" *big grin*

 

[Game_Breaker]

Johnny Unitas - Real vs Simpsons

The Haircut is uncanny!

Now that's a haircut you can set your watch to