General off season footy/sport/current affairs chatter

Discussion in 'Parramatta Eels' started by Suitman, Dec 5, 2011.

  1. sportive cupid

    sportive cupid Referee

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  2. Poupou Escobar

    Poupou Escobar Post Whore

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  3. sportive cupid

    sportive cupid Referee

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    I forgot how smart you were PE
     
  4. Suitman

    Suitman Immortal

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    Don't you mean "are"?

    Suity
     
  5. sportive cupid

    sportive cupid Referee

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  6. Casper The Ghost

    Casper The Ghost First Grade

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    The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.

    After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

    Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe,
    look towards sky, what you see? '

    [​IMG]

    'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

    'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.

    The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, 'Astronomically speaking,
    it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

    Astrologically,it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

    Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

    Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

    Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

    What's it tell you, Tonto?'

    'You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent'
     
  7. Casper The Ghost

    Casper The Ghost First Grade

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    A BOTTLE OF MERLOT

    A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to a very attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

    So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

    She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note.

    The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

    The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.....

    After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

    It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages. I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio.

    But not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches.

    Just send the wine back.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2012

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