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Memo to McSharkie: If you dont like it, dont read it...
Its that time again folks, April 1. Universally acknowledged as the day for recognising stupidity and ineptitude in all its forms, today we recognise the most significant concentration of the above in Rugby League.
Welcome to the second annual Dragons Day
Yes, todays the day we look back over the past year to date and reflect on all of St George Illawarras cringe-worthy incidents and thought to ourselves, jeez, how stupid are these guys?
And what a year it was:
Exhibit A: The club finally gives Illawarra some recognition for their Round 4 clash at WIN by playing in commemorative Steelers jumpers. This disgusts the heritage St George supporters and drives another wedge into an already polarised fanbase.
Exhibit B: After managing to win three games in a row for the first time in years, are infamously labelled benchmarks by the incomprehensibly stupid Red V. Didnt we get some mileage out of that!!
Exhibit C: The club, also delighted with their new-found ability to fluke a three game streak, duly extend Coach Slappys contract for a further two years. They are now stuck with the dumbass waterboy until the end of 2006.
Exhibit D: At a time when the NRL was doing everything it could to improve the image of the game to women, Mark Gasnier rings a woman anonymously at 3:00am, declare that he is a toey human and instructs her to fire up due to her perceived status as a sad merkin.
As a result, Gaaaz becomes the first player in Origin history to be sacked before lacing on a boot. He attempts to blame Anthony Minichello, resulting in him being sacked as well.
Exhibit E: Gasnier duly breaks his collarbone during Origin III, and subsequently stitches up a deal to pay in England in 2005. The Dragons pay overs to keep him, and are forced to cut Riddell, Perenara, Kite and Withers as a result. Meanwhile Gasnier will play out his contract at the Dragons under sufferance, while his mind is 17,000km away
Exhibit F: The club decides that since depth in the halves has never been a problem for them, they will only need one halfback for 2005. They proceed to pick Matthew Head over Brett Firman. Head subsequently develops a mystery illness which could threaten his career at any moment
Exhibit G: Gasnier falls out of a car, re-breaking his collarbone.
No, thats not a typo. He fell out of a car. Im serious...
Exhibit H: The Dragons eventually finish 5th, provoking much hysteria among their fans and predictions that this is the year, and proceed to hand the Panthers a 24 point head-start in their first final. They think to themselves its all good, well just start better next week.
Subsequent wins to Melbourne and North Queensland make the evening of Saturday September 5, 2004 a truly memorable one for Dragons and Sharks supporters alike...
Exhibit I: Amos Roberts, universally condemned as a player by Dragons supporters in 2002 and 2003, finishes the 2004 season as top tryscorer for Penrith. In doing so, Amos joins the likes of Gorden Tallis, Jason Stevens, Luke Patten and Craig Fitzgibbon as players whose careers have flourished after escaping the mysterious curse of ineptitude brought about by wearing red and white
Exhibit J: Timmins, Ryles and Cooper are all selected for the Kangaroo tour, and all manage to hurt themselves.
Exhibit K: Gasnier injures his wrist in a training mishap late November, requiring surgery which keeps him out until the start of the new season. New purchases Ennis and Torrens are already doing sheet-time at this point, despite being four months away from their first appearance for the club
Exhibit L: Jason Ryles also has shoulder surgery in December, ruling him out of the opening games of the 2005 season
Exhibit M: Barrett injures himself again in pre-season, this time its a torn quad
Exhibit N: Prior to the Charity Shield, Peter Doust reiterates to the press how important the game is to them, and that it is far from just a trial. The Dragons ultimately get their arses handed to them by the Wooden Spoon favourites, to the tune of 30-6.
Fans reaction? Its only a trial
Exhibit O: Head tears his hamstring during the Charity Shield, and Cooper breaks his nose.
Exhibit P: After conceding 110 points in three games, the team slumps to an 0-3 record, the worst since its first season in 1999.
Fans reaction? Um, well, we made the Grand Final in 1999, so that means we will make the Grand Final again this year.
Finally, lets revisit a couple of select musings from one of the more cerebrally disadvantaged trolls during the off-season. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the pre-season works of Ribs:
After three rounds:
Cronulla Sutherland Sharks: 2-1, 58 for/70 against. 4 points, 7th place.
St George Illawarra Dragons: 0-3, 48 for/110 against. 0 points
STONE
MOTHERLESS
LAST
:lol:
Thankyou St George Illawarra, for keeping us in stitches as no other club can. As you fumble your way through another year of gaffes, rest assured we will be looking on thinking, what a bunch of f*cking idiots. Im glad thats not my team
We salute you!!
Its that time again folks, April 1. Universally acknowledged as the day for recognising stupidity and ineptitude in all its forms, today we recognise the most significant concentration of the above in Rugby League.
Welcome to the second annual Dragons Day
Yes, todays the day we look back over the past year to date and reflect on all of St George Illawarras cringe-worthy incidents and thought to ourselves, jeez, how stupid are these guys?
And what a year it was:
Exhibit A: The club finally gives Illawarra some recognition for their Round 4 clash at WIN by playing in commemorative Steelers jumpers. This disgusts the heritage St George supporters and drives another wedge into an already polarised fanbase.
Exhibit B: After managing to win three games in a row for the first time in years, are infamously labelled benchmarks by the incomprehensibly stupid Red V. Didnt we get some mileage out of that!!
Exhibit C: The club, also delighted with their new-found ability to fluke a three game streak, duly extend Coach Slappys contract for a further two years. They are now stuck with the dumbass waterboy until the end of 2006.
Exhibit D: At a time when the NRL was doing everything it could to improve the image of the game to women, Mark Gasnier rings a woman anonymously at 3:00am, declare that he is a toey human and instructs her to fire up due to her perceived status as a sad merkin.
As a result, Gaaaz becomes the first player in Origin history to be sacked before lacing on a boot. He attempts to blame Anthony Minichello, resulting in him being sacked as well.
Exhibit E: Gasnier duly breaks his collarbone during Origin III, and subsequently stitches up a deal to pay in England in 2005. The Dragons pay overs to keep him, and are forced to cut Riddell, Perenara, Kite and Withers as a result. Meanwhile Gasnier will play out his contract at the Dragons under sufferance, while his mind is 17,000km away
Exhibit F: The club decides that since depth in the halves has never been a problem for them, they will only need one halfback for 2005. They proceed to pick Matthew Head over Brett Firman. Head subsequently develops a mystery illness which could threaten his career at any moment
Exhibit G: Gasnier falls out of a car, re-breaking his collarbone.
No, thats not a typo. He fell out of a car. Im serious...
Exhibit H: The Dragons eventually finish 5th, provoking much hysteria among their fans and predictions that this is the year, and proceed to hand the Panthers a 24 point head-start in their first final. They think to themselves its all good, well just start better next week.
Subsequent wins to Melbourne and North Queensland make the evening of Saturday September 5, 2004 a truly memorable one for Dragons and Sharks supporters alike...
Exhibit I: Amos Roberts, universally condemned as a player by Dragons supporters in 2002 and 2003, finishes the 2004 season as top tryscorer for Penrith. In doing so, Amos joins the likes of Gorden Tallis, Jason Stevens, Luke Patten and Craig Fitzgibbon as players whose careers have flourished after escaping the mysterious curse of ineptitude brought about by wearing red and white
Exhibit J: Timmins, Ryles and Cooper are all selected for the Kangaroo tour, and all manage to hurt themselves.
Exhibit K: Gasnier injures his wrist in a training mishap late November, requiring surgery which keeps him out until the start of the new season. New purchases Ennis and Torrens are already doing sheet-time at this point, despite being four months away from their first appearance for the club
Exhibit L: Jason Ryles also has shoulder surgery in December, ruling him out of the opening games of the 2005 season
Exhibit M: Barrett injures himself again in pre-season, this time its a torn quad
Exhibit N: Prior to the Charity Shield, Peter Doust reiterates to the press how important the game is to them, and that it is far from just a trial. The Dragons ultimately get their arses handed to them by the Wooden Spoon favourites, to the tune of 30-6.
Fans reaction? Its only a trial
Exhibit O: Head tears his hamstring during the Charity Shield, and Cooper breaks his nose.
Exhibit P: After conceding 110 points in three games, the team slumps to an 0-3 record, the worst since its first season in 1999.
Fans reaction? Um, well, we made the Grand Final in 1999, so that means we will make the Grand Final again this year.
Finally, lets revisit a couple of select musings from one of the more cerebrally disadvantaged trolls during the off-season. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the pre-season works of Ribs:
Ribs said:
After three rounds:
Cronulla Sutherland Sharks: 2-1, 58 for/70 against. 4 points, 7th place.
St George Illawarra Dragons: 0-3, 48 for/110 against. 0 points
STONE
MOTHERLESS
LAST
:lol:
Thankyou St George Illawarra, for keeping us in stitches as no other club can. As you fumble your way through another year of gaffes, rest assured we will be looking on thinking, what a bunch of f*cking idiots. Im glad thats not my team
We salute you!!
