Lame jokes

[MKEB...]

How can you tell a lesbian bar from the rest?

Even the pool table has no balls

 

[MKEB...]

How do you know what time is bed time at Michael Jacksons ranch?

When the big hand holds the little hand

 

[thorson1987]

I know we are all gutted about not hosting the World Cup, but at least we will get to see the Qatar national football team! The commentary is going to be amazing:

Muhammad passes to Muhammed who gives a glorious through ball to Muhammad, Muhammad shoots, Muhammad scores. The crowd explode with excitement!

52,000 people die in that explosion.

 

[thorson1987]

What do you get if you cross a Jew?
Christianity.

 

[thorson1987]

Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes.

What about Hitler? He made six million Jews toast

 

[Rhino_NQ]

how do you get a jewish girls number?
roll up her sleeve

 

[God-King Dean]

Emilia Clarke is a highly paid actress.

 

[Red Bear]

I was going to purchase Kate and Gerry McCann's new book

But then I thought nah, I'll just wait till someone leaves it in a hotel room

 

[Buzzard Breath]

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

 

[Buzzard Breath]

Why do they call it the wonder bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

 

[thorson1987]

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.

Dude

How do you circumcise a qlder

Kick his sister in the jaw

 

[thorson1987]

I was going to buy Kate and Gerry McCann's book.

Then I thought no, I'll just wait til someone leaves it in a hotel room...

I was going to purchase Kate and Gerry McCann's new book

But then I thought nah, I'll just wait till someone leaves it in a hotel room

Déjà vu

 

[thorson1987]

I couldn't afford to buy all my kids Easter eggs, and I didn't want them to wake up disappointed this morning.

So I killed them in their sleep.

 

[thorson1987]

If Christians call the day that Jesus died 'Good' Friday, then just imagine how ecstatic they'll be when they find out that God doesn't exist

 

[Buzzard Breath]

How do you circumcise a qlder

Kick his sister in the jaw

Missed that one.

 

[thorson1987]

My mother in law is getting buried today

Turns out it won't be Good Friday after all,

It will be a great one.

 

[Rhino_NQ]

whats blue and yellow and sits at the bottom of the pool?

a baby with its floaties slashed

 

[thorson1987]

I was playing Fifa earlier, and found that Chicago had a team called Chicago Fire. I was disgusted, imagine naming your sports team after the worst event in your cities history. You don't see the New Orleans Katrinas, the Boston Massacres, the Oklahoma Bombings, the San Francisco Big Ones, or the New York Jets...

 

[thorson1987]

Arsenal football club have banned the Vuvuzela from their stadium.

Other things on the banned list are English people and trophies

 

[Rhino_NQ]

lol