Lame jokes

[Buzzard Breath]

A man and a woman start to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

 

[thorson1987]

"Or in my defence your honour, you COULD say I was raping her to stop all that clawing at my face."

 

[Buzzard Breath]

Why is having fun with a prostitute like a bungee jumping?
You're dead, if the rubber breaks.

 

[Buzzard Breath]

Three guys are sitting in a strip bar - a Pom, a Frenchman and a Scot.
A girl is dancing on stage, she eventually slides down to the floor in front of them.
The Pom pulls out a $20 and puts it in her bra. The Frenchman whips out a $50 and slips it in her G-String.
After a long period of ogling.
The Scot gets up, pulls out his ATM card, Swipes her backside, takes the $70 and leaves.

 

[Rhino_NQ]

what's better then winning gold at the special olympics?

not being geniused

 

[Rhino_NQ]

what do you call a leper in a bath tub?

stu

 

[DB]

How many South American does it take to change a lightbulb?


A Brazilian

 

[Joker's Wild]

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick

 

[Rhino_NQ]

lame

 

[Rhino_NQ]

how do you know jesus isn't from redfern?

go try and find 3 wise men and a virgin

 

[sensesmaybenumbed]

Tony Abbott.

 

[thorson1987]

I heard that Yoga class was a great place to meet women, so I went every day for three months. Bad news is I didn't meet a girl. Good news is I can now give myself a blowjob.

 

[thorson1987]

I asked some black guy why they call each other 'n****r' all the time and he replied it was part of their culture as the whites used to name them that.

So now I've started calling my white friends 'Master'.

Cause it's part of our culture.

 

[Someone]

I asked some black guy why they call each other 'n****r' all the time and he replied it was part of their culture as the whites used to name them that.

So now I've started calling my white friends 'Master'.

Cause it's part of our culture.

hahahahahahahahaha.


hahahahahahahahaha.

 

[Rhino_NQ]

how do you stop 4 black guys from raping a white girl?

throw them a basketball

 

[Buzzard Breath]

A guy says to his wife, “I like kinky sex, how about I ejaculate in your ear?”
The wife angrily replies, “No, I might go deaf!” To which the man replies,
“I’ve been shooting my load in your mouth for the last 20 years and you’re still talking aren’t you?”

 

[Buzzard Breath]

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
''Do you want a bag, sir?” the cashier asks.
“’Nah”, the guy says. “She’s not that ugly.”

 

[Buzzard Breath]

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."​

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"​

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

 

[Buzzard Breath]

How are women and tornadoes alike?​

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.​

 

[MKEB...]

Cops investigating a homicide in Redfern were flummoxed.. The DNA that was located had over 1000 positive matches, whilst checking the dental records was equally fruitless.